Posted on 06/03/2022 1:21:46 PM PDT by DFG
CANADA—A record number of Canadians have suddenly lost their handguns in tragic ice fishing accidents, say officials with the Canadian Firearms Program.
According to sources, the majority of missing firearms were reported missing the moment Prime Minister Trudeau finished announcing a slate of new gun laws.
Trudeau was reportedly flummoxed by the news. "Ice fishing is a beloved Canadian pastime but it's summertime, ay? You'd have to go up to the Northwest Territories to do any fishing this time of year, you know, but a lot of the missing guns are from citizens of Toronto."
"But the people love me, ay. They wouldn't lie aboot something like this."
Dave Quail of Edmonton is just one of many Canadian gun owners that are adamant they lost their handguns. "Look, I know it's hard to believe, ay, but I was ice fishing at Wabamun Lake, and wouldn't you know it, all four of my handguns fell out of my parka and into the lake!"
Lake Wabamun's ice-out date was back in April, but Quail—and others—insist their favorite fishing holes were covered in ice a mere four days ago.
"Don't have any more guns at home," said Rick Meese, a small business owner in Quebec City. "Lost my 9mm while ice fishing, I did. And then a moose ate my assault rifle! Wild, ay?"
Noah Jackson, head of the Canadian Wildlife Service, is adamant that tales of lost firearms are completely fabricated and people must be held accountable for lying to the government.
"But not me, I actually did lose my entire armory while ice fishing," said Jackson. "No, I won't tell you where I was fishing."
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti...
Lotta lakes up there!
Gold.
Ugh, Castreau. What a hosehead.
The Bee must read FR on a regular basis. Lol!
Hey Bulwyf...hope all is well on your side of the border. I realize this article is Babylon Bee, but I would be interested in your take. Is your government actually going to try to confiscate hand guns?
I was staying at a B&B run by a couple in BC many years ago. The wife told me that her husband was from East Germany and had escaped from East Berlin when he was a teenager.
She also mentioned to me, since I was American and all, that her husband kept a pistol in a coffee can out in the barn, just in case he needed it some day.
My dad’s cousin was a big shooter and hunter in Norway. He had one old gun that was registered with the government. “Everyone knows that I shoot - so I figured I better have a gun registered.”
When he was a teen he hid when the Nazi’s came into his town and then he joined the resistance. The first thing the German’s did when they got to a town was go to city hall and get the list of registered guns and the census records. Then they would confiscate the guns and round up and question the fighting-aged men.
That’s what you should tell the gun grabbers when they come to grab yours: “I accidentally dropped it into the water when I was fishing in my boat.”
Those are the lessons you learn and hopefully remember. Things don’t always stay the same and there’s always somebody out there who doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
One of the most enthusiastic of gun enthusiasts I know is Cambodian American. His grandparents and parents escaped from Cambodia during the Pol Pot years. He’s heard the stories from people who were there, and things like that are not going to happen to him and his kids if he can help it.
If it’s time to play childish games no one believes, then it is time...never mind. You’re dead. They will arrest you and take you to the gulag. Not man enough to use them, then why buy them?
NEVER open your door to the government.
Yep.
No, they don’t want that. I have it right from Ottawa that they want everything. Here in Alberta, we find that very amusing.
Baloney! Everybody knows they actually shipped them to Ukraine...
;>)
Funny how that happens.
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