[Born in 1950]

Come Lord Jesus be our guest and let these gifts to us be blessed, amen.

[MayflowerMadam]

Funny.

[lizma2]

“Pray incantations in Latin - Catholics again”

Not allowed by our current “Pope”.

[Vigilanteman]

I'm trying to remember the denomination of the people who prayed like this in an old movie: "Look out, Lord! We're gonna eat!"

I think it might have been a John Wayne movie, but not sure about that either.

[Tell It Right]

Praying with your arms lifted --- traditional Baptist trying hard to seem modern to her grown kids without attending their modern worship church.

Praying in a Selma accent -- Hillary at a luncheon on the campaign trail

Praying with eyes closed, head bowed, solemn and using a kind of broken English with some words that never were part of the English language but sound like they could have been centuries ago -- grown modern worshipper trying to make traditional Mama proud at the dinner table

Thanking God for a good hunt even though the meat they're about to eat was pastured, not hunted -- out of touch Republican politician at a luncheon on the campaign trail

[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

A church of Christ preacher went bear hunting for the first time ever. He took a 20 gauge shotgun loaded with 7 shot in to the Alaska wilderness and finally found a bear.

He shot it in the behind and the bear whirled around and charged. Stunned that the shot seemed to have little effect, he ripped off another shot and shredded the bear's left ear. On it came directly after him. He dropped the gun, took off running towards his pickup and suddenly tripped on a limb and fell face down in the mud.

He began praying earnestly reminding God he had been "...faithful, instant in season and out of season and, please, God, would you make that bear a Christian!". Immediately, all was quiet. He raised himself up, looked back, and the bear...only a few yards away now, was on his knees praying, "Dear God, thank you for this food we are about to eat."

[LilFarmer]

Reminds me of… Tim Hawkins on hand raising:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TK2_ezOBa2A

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Bless these microwave pizzas oh Lord, because some one, not naming names but looking at you April, plugged her hair dryer in where she shouldn't have and caused the GFCI to pop leading to the delicious pot roast that mom had going in the Insta-Pot not to cook while we were at morning services.

This, of course, is not a healthy meal but it is what we've got so bless it any way and let it nourish us some how.

Holy Spirit of Low Carb rain down upon us!

Amen.

(our oldest thinks he is a comedian)

[Blood of Tyrants]

BAHAHAHA!

[jy8z]

Good bread, good meat
Good God, let’s eat.

[Some Fat Guy in L.A.]

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Who eats the fastest gets the most

[Jewbacca]

Amateurs!

https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/brachot-blessings-before-eating