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Are You A Woman? 12 Signs To Look For Faith Tips
Babylon Bee ^ | 24 Mar 2022 | Anon

Posted on 03/24/2022 6:31:39 PM PDT by Rummyfan

What is a woman? Nobody knows—not even Supreme Court nominees. But we've come up with a few key indicators to look for. Run through this list and keep track of how many "yes" answers you come up with. The more affirmatives, the more likely you're a chick!

1. Are you always cold?

2. Has a human ever popped out of you?

3. Have you ever decorated a bed with six or more pillows?

4. Can you tell the difference between cream white and rustic farmhouse white?

5. Have you run into a curb in the past 24 hours? Be honest, CAROL.

6. DO YOU BLEED? Like, for an extended period of time at regular intervals?

7. Does it take you over three hours to decide what you want to eat?

8. Are you currently a member of at least three pyramid schemes?

9. Do you find simple movie plots hard to follow?

10. Do you frequently describe your emotional state as "fine" when you are not in fact fine?

11. Is your Starbucks drink order anything other than black coffee?

12. Do you have two X chromosomes?

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
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1 posted on 03/24/2022 6:31:39 PM PDT by Rummyfan
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To: Rummyfan

9. Do you find simple movie plots hard to follow?

Oh my!


2 posted on 03/24/2022 6:33:00 PM PDT by BenLurkin ((The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire. Or both.))
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To: Rummyfan

The Bee is freaking hilarious!!!


3 posted on 03/24/2022 6:33:19 PM PDT by MountainDad (A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others. Support your local militia.)
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To: Rummyfan
Twitter is going to double ban them.
4 posted on 03/24/2022 6:34:34 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (If Hitler invaded Hell, I would make at least a favourable reference of the Devil...-Churchill)
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To: Rummyfan

Well.

I never give out,
And I never give in...
I just change my mind.

According to Billy Joel, I’m a Woman.


5 posted on 03/24/2022 6:34:56 PM PDT by left that other site (Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.)
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To: KarlInOhio

“Twitter is going to double ban them.”

They already did — IT’S SECRET DOUBLE PROBATION


6 posted on 03/24/2022 6:35:56 PM PDT by George from New England
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To: Rummyfan

Ouch! Was the author long time single or recently divorced? :)


7 posted on 03/24/2022 6:36:30 PM PDT by posterchild
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To: Rummyfan

Do you only know how to turn on light switches?

Do you only know how to open windows?

Do you think one hour of vacuuming is a huge deal and say so, but do not realize all the work your guy does in and out of the house because he doesnt say anything about it?


8 posted on 03/24/2022 6:37:35 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: Rummyfan

“I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability”


9 posted on 03/24/2022 6:37:52 PM PDT by GrandJediMasterYoda (As long as Hillary Clinton remains free, the USA will never have equal justice under the law)
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To: posterchild

Sounds merely like he lived with women at some point and was observant.


10 posted on 03/24/2022 6:38:15 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: posterchild

Mr Bee will be sleeping on the couch for at least a month.


11 posted on 03/24/2022 6:38:26 PM PDT by BiglyCommentary
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To: left that other site

12 posted on 03/24/2022 6:38:53 PM PDT by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
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To: BiglyCommentary

I don’t agree with all of them but of those that i do I would not express them openly at my current location:)


13 posted on 03/24/2022 6:40:37 PM PDT by posterchild
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To: GrandJediMasterYoda

LOL! Best description I ever heard!


14 posted on 03/24/2022 6:41:55 PM PDT by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Suppo)
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To: Rummyfan

Wasn’t that a line from a movie featuring Jack Nicholson?


15 posted on 03/24/2022 6:46:13 PM PDT by posterchild
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To: MountainDad

indeed!


16 posted on 03/24/2022 6:48:05 PM PDT by SomeCallMeTim ( The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them!it)
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To: posterchild
Ouch! Was the author long time single or recently divorced? :)

I predict; BITTER divorce.

If not recently, soon...

17 posted on 03/24/2022 6:49:10 PM PDT by SomeCallMeTim ( The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them!it)
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To: posterchild
Wasn’t that a line from a movie featuring Jack Nicholson?

Yes, from As Good as It Gets.

18 posted on 03/24/2022 6:50:12 PM PDT by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Suppo)
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To: Rummyfan

My wife has an amazing supernatural ability. When she is finished using something, a pair of scissors or whatever, she merely opens her hand and that object ceases to exist. It only reappears after a tedious search the next time she wants to use it.


19 posted on 03/24/2022 6:56:22 PM PDT by HartleyMBaldwin
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To: Rummyfan
Has a human ever popped out of you?
That's happened to me eight times! omg
20 posted on 03/24/2022 7:04:17 PM PDT by Trillian
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