Posted on 01/11/2022 3:56:24 PM PST by MAGA2017
I got a call from my wife a short while ago. She got a phone call from the principal at my son's elementary school. He got into a "fight". All I know so far is that during recess he was playing basketball with some other kids and something happened. Evidently one kid kept swiping the ball from my son and he got frustrated and he shoved the other kid.
I doubt this was an actual fight with punches thrown. My son is a good kid but I know he sometimes gets frustrated easily. He's competitive when it comes to sports. This other kid or kids may have been doing something to really bug him. I'll learn more get he gets home later.
This has got me thinking about today's environment of "toxic masculinity" and how often boys get mixed messages about conduct and being a male. I got into fights at his age. It happens. I don't recall starting a fight but my personal policy growing up was not to take crap from anyone. Don't start a fight but be prepared to end one.
One time in junior high school I punched a kid in the face in the school yard because he was running around spiting on the other kids. When "my turn" for that came up I punched him and he got a bloody nose. I don't remember that kid bothering anyone else again after that. I don't even remember the school contacting my parents about it. Just part of life then.
I don't want my son to get into fights but at the same time I want him ready and able to defend himself if he has too.
I'm actually more concerned at the moment about whatever PC progressive "violence is bad" lecture he might have gotten from the school.
Anyway, I'm curious what you guys think.
Our policy (two boys, two girls) was as follows and I can’t do better than recommend it.
a. not assume our kids were in the right, so drill down and find out as best you can what really happened. I’ve seen a whole lot of kids who were raised to think their parents will say they’re angels no matter what. That attitude doesn’t lead to healthy grownups.
b. if your kid was in the wrong, discipline him as you see fit; use this as a good time to teach him what’s worth fighting over and what’s not.
c. if he was in the right, I agree with what one of the commentators said above — back him to the hilt. It seems pretty ridiculous to me that boys are expected never to fight. Unless you live in San Francisco or some other lunatic asylum where you can’t evidence wrongthink of any kind, I’d try as hard as I can to advocate publicly for what you actually believe. Your son will notice if you do, and he’ll notice if you don’t.
Good luck.
As a Father to two young men, I always taught them to defend themselves and don’t get bullied.
Use restraint when necessary, but fight back! I also told them that I would gladly pick them up from school if they were righteously defending themselves. Mom never had to pick them up from school. I got called to come to the government indoctrination station several times. Each time I told them that I was proud of the way they handled themselves and asked how could they have ended it quicker.
One son grew up to be the Southeast champion in MMA kickboxing and the other was a 4-year varsity wrestler who took up wrestling so that his Mom - who was fighting several bouts of cancer could watch him perform because it was indoor.
Can you imagine what would happen if a teacher said that today?
School is where you learn your place in the pecking order. Most kids get into fights at some point. I was bullied in JHS until I got fed up with it and punched the guy in the face. That ended it. I then thought I was a tough guy and started picking on some other kids. One of them knocked me on my azz and that was the end of my bully phase.
Recently retired teacher. Record & take notes of everything; be very specific & detailed.
Good luck.
Sadly that was then. Now’s a whole other story.
When I was in seventh grade a couple of bullies thought it would be entertaining to pick on a smaller kid by taking away my basketball.
I think my dad must have taught me that you need to go after the biggest bully and win. I had to jump up in order to get my arms around the bully's neck. From that point on I was in complete control. I took the kid to the ground and held the idiot for a couple of minutes and made him promise to leave me alone. Never had a problem after that.
I'v been in only a few fights in my life. Never had a fight with anybody smaller than me. At least twice I have severely damaged the other guys hands with my face.
I think he should have kicked someone’s ass. Sometimes kids just need their asses kicked. I had to do that a few times growing up. After I passed six feet, people stopped bothering me altogether.
It’s a different world these days. And not for the better.
I was very small for my age when I was younger — late blooming Scandinavian. Some of the mediterranean types got “big” early, and took advantage of their size. Eventually, all debts were paid — they stopped growing at 5’6”.
The schools where I came from punished both parties, when my kids were school aged. If someone is attacked, IMHO, they should not be punished for defending him/herself.
I don't think anything.
Good grief. This was a big nothing-burger.
My son came home and told what happened. Was playing basketball and one of his friends was goofing around and was kicking the ball. My son got annoyed and shoved him against a fence with his shoulder. I had him show me how he did it. Didn’t even use his hands. The principal saw this and thought it was a “fight”. My son and his friend made up on the bus ride back home. No big deal.
Good advice.
My oldest daughter was 6 years old, and the neighbor boy kept pushing her 3 year old sister down and knocking her around. I told my daughter to take care of her little sister. That night after it had been a long day of sister crying, I showed her how to throw a punch for maximum effect. Then I instructed her to aim for his nose if he once again began bullying little sister. When I got home from work the next evening, the 8 year old boys mom was at my door, telling me that my daughter had beaten him up. I called her to the door, and her direct answer was “I punched him right on the button”, I just smiled and told the neighbor lady to go home, as I shut the door. Nobody in the same age group of kids she grew up with, boy or girl, ever messed with my girls again.
Exactly.
Maybe different these days, maybe not so much. Our daughter at 8 clocked a boy for taking her money. She said twice give it back or he’ll get hit but he tested her. And like we hear so many times that was the last she dealt with him. Principal actually told her nice job. (NJ public school of all places)
Good. What a bunch of nonsense. Wasn’t even much of anything. Sounds like the admin made a deal if it even if the kids didn’t.
I was in a number of fights from grade school through high school. They built character, you found out who your friends were.
“Mostly it is round-houses and flailing of arms. Back in the day, yoiu squared off, jabs, uppercuts, and such.”
Yup, they fight like girls. Round house leaves your nose wide open.
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