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Study Finds Politicians Safe From Myocarditis As They Do Not Have Hearts
Babylon Bee ^ | 12/08/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 12/08/2021 11:29:20 AM PST by DFG

U.S.—A new study found that politicians cannot be harmed from heart issues due to the COVID-19 vaccines, as they do not have hearts that can be affected by complications such as myocarditis.

"Politicians? Oh yeah, they're totally safe from getting any kind of heart inflammation," said the head of the study, Dr. Ree Boyd. "You kinda gotta have a heart to inflame, ya know?"

Experts say the study illustrates why politicians have been so quick to get vaccinated, while ordinary humans, who have hearts, are more hesitant. "It seems people who have a heart and non-lizard blood flowing through their veins are more likely to be worried about heart issues," said Boyd. "Lizard people tend to worry more about things like how to keep harvesting humans for a food supply and the eventual total domination of our planet."

"It's just a cultural and physiological difference it would seem."

At publishing time, another study had also found that politicians are entirely safe from ever getting brain damage.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: brain; heart; politician; vaccine

1 posted on 12/08/2021 11:29:20 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Safe from Alzheimer’s, too.


2 posted on 12/08/2021 11:31:13 AM PST by ComputerGuy (Heavily-medicated for your protection)
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To: DFG

Lol.


3 posted on 12/08/2021 11:33:28 AM PST by ifinnegan (Democrats kill babies and harvest their organs to sell)
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To: DFG

LOL that’s like Congress is safe from the zombie apocalypse because there are no brains there.


4 posted on 12/08/2021 11:46:31 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: DFG

I would believe they had no balls, except they keep getting caught with their pants down.


5 posted on 12/08/2021 11:52:30 AM PST by MattMusson (Sometimes the wind blows too much)
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To: DFG

Neither congress or their staffers are made to take the jab


6 posted on 12/08/2021 12:18:07 PM PST by Pollard (PureBlood -- youtube.com/watch?v=VXm0fkDituE)
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To: DFG

Where can you find a job where you can lie to everyone every day and keep your job except weathermen.


7 posted on 12/08/2021 12:51:03 PM PST by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
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To: DFG

Working for the Bee has the be the best job ever! Get paid to make fun of liberals- a target rich environment!


8 posted on 12/08/2021 2:13:32 PM PST by JaguarXKE (Liberalism is a cancer on our nation.)
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To: DFG

Babylon Bee or not, I don’t think politicians will be damaged by the vax because they aren’t taking it. Population control for thee, not for me, dontcha know!


9 posted on 12/08/2021 2:25:03 PM PST by FrogMom (Time marches on...)
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