Posted on 12/07/2021 3:06:28 PM PST by DFG
WASHINGTON, D.C.—As Russia appears poised to invade Ukraine, Biden today issued a forceful statement warning Putin that if he does, America will evacuate haphazardly and leave $86 billion in weapons behind.
"Listen, folks...for real this time...no joke... I ain't kiddin' around here," said Biden to a gelatinous puddle of quivering goo on the ground he mistook for the press. "If Russia invades Ukraine, we will send a bunch of troops. And then we will immediately pull those troops out and leave all our state-of-the-art weapons behind. I'm not even messing around, Jack!"
General Milley confirmed that this tactic was a proven battlefield strategy used in Afghanistan and has promised to use it without remorse should Russia ever cross the United States. "If Russia invades, they will face the consequences," said General Milley, "in the form of billions of dollars worth of rifles, machine guns, night-vision goggles, and Black Hawk helicopters, left just for them."
"I'm warning them. And by that I mean, I will call Russia first and warn them," he said.
It could happen.
This can’t be the Bee. He’s already done this in Afghanistan.
LOLOL!!! f’n BEE...
Come on, man! I got my butt wiped!
They are good, they almost had me.
I think Putin ghost wrote this for the Bee. Ha!
PLEASE don’t tell us what the “gelatinous puddle of quivering goo” was.
We don't need any further information.
So much talk about Ukraine’s border, while ours is wide open!😡😡
What is he going to do? Fling a diaper at them?
I hope everyone understands that Biden and his lefties need a war as soon as possible to get a guarantied bounce in polls and hopefully counter the GOP in the 2022 election. They will pull every trick possible to make it happen - but not with their friend, China!!!
Writing for the Bee these days must be like shooting fish in a barrel.
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction (or satire).
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