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To Prevent Unnecessary Deaths, Nation Demands Common-Sense Alec Baldwin Control [satire]
Babylon Bee ^ | December 3, 2021

Posted on 12/03/2021 12:50:31 PM PST by grundle

U.S. - The nation has begun clamoring for common-sense Alec Baldwin control to curb unnecessary deaths from careless actors gunning down their coworkers on set.

"How many more have to die before we as a nation will implement common-sense, reasonable controls on Alec Baldwin?" asked one protestor outside the Capitol building. "Blood is on our hands every day we allow Alec Baldwin to remain on the streets and not be locked up in a safe, away from guns and ammo, when he's not being used."

Legislators have proposed many common-sense Alec Baldwin control laws, from a background check on any movie studio that wants to bring Baldwin onto a movie set, to a 14-day waiting period before Alec Baldwin can be allowed anywhere near a gun.

"The Second Amendment was designed to allow for slow, muzzle-loading Alec Baldwins," said one activist. "The Founders had no idea there would one day be fully automatic, high-capacity, assault Alec Baldwins walking the streets. The Constitution never intended for just any American to be able to deploy Alec Baldwin to shoot down people willy-nilly."

Congress doesn't seem likely to pass Alec Baldwin control anytime soon, though, as they are currently preoccupied with passing common-sense Hillary Clinton control.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: alecbaldwin; babylonbee; halynahutchins; joelsouza; rust; saturdaynightlive; saturdaynightvile

1 posted on 12/03/2021 12:50:31 PM PST by grundle
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To: grundle
"Blood is on our hands every day we allow Alec Baldwin to remain on the streets and not be locked up in a safe, away from guns and ammo, when he's not being used."


2 posted on 12/03/2021 12:56:05 PM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic...)
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To: All

.
If the Prosecutor has no interest in pursuing a case, there will be no charges.

This case has already been discarded. He showed his DNC card.

.


3 posted on 12/03/2021 12:59:03 PM PST by AnthonySoprano (‘’)
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To: AnthonySoprano

His interview wasn’t the brightest move. He admitted he “released the hammer” and the pistol fired .... well DUH, to release the hammer you must have cocked it and must be holding the trigger back to allow the hammer to fully go forward.


4 posted on 12/03/2021 2:11:41 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet (When Satan craps another demon possessed Progressive is born.)
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To: grundle

“To Prevent Unnecessary Deaths, Nation Demands Common-Sense Alec Baldwin Control”

they also ought to ban self-shooting firearms and self-shooting ammunition ...


5 posted on 12/03/2021 2:28:01 PM PST by catnipman (Cat Nipman: Vote Republican in 2012 and only be called racist one more time!)
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To: grundle

Bill Clinton: I didn’t have sex with that woman.

Alex Baldwin: I didn’t shoot that woman.

Joe Biden: I didn’t whatchamacallit with that woman.


6 posted on 12/03/2021 2:47:00 PM PST by BEJ
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To: RetiredTexasVet

We know that, but apparently Alec Baldwin didn’t. He isn’t the brightest star.


7 posted on 12/03/2021 2:55:06 PM PST by jmcenanly ("The more corrupt the state, the more laws." Tacitus, Publius Cornelius)
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