Posted on 11/28/2021 10:12:51 AM PST by DFG
WUHAN—Thousands gathered outside the Wuhan Institute of Virology with faces of anxious anticipation over the weekend, as rumors had been circulating that a new COVID-19 variant would soon be named. The hopeful pilgrims' hours of waiting were not in vain. Cheers erupted as white smoke began pouring out of the chimney early Sunday morning, signaling the creation and naming of a new COVID-19 variant.
"It was a lively debate," said one source from inside the Wuhan lab. "Yuhang suggested we just keep following the Greek alphabet and name it Xi. We haven't heard from him in a few days, come to think of it."
"Nu" was also floated as a possibility, but scientists wanted to avoid the stigma of being associated with nu-metal, generally acknowledged as the worst musical genre on the planet. One guy kept wanting to call it "The One-Der Variant" but this was confusing as everyone kept pronouncing it as Oh-NEE-der instead of Wonder. Finally, there was a last-ditch effort to name it the Trump variant, but this was finally defeated in favor of the safer "Omicron variant" according to sources within the lab.
After the celebration died down, the pilgrims shuffled away, their faces full of cheer. But they'll be back in a few weeks for the next one.
Puff the magic dragon 🤪
Papa Emeritus...
This is one of the best inside-baseball lines ever from the Bee.
Nu metal (sometimes stylized as nü-metal) is a subgenre of alternative metal that combines elements of heavy metal music with elements of other music genres such as hip hop, alternative rock, funk, industrial, and grunge. Top bands include Korn, System of a Down, and Slipknot.
I wish I worked at the Babylon Bee. I bet it is a fun place.
” Like, oh my cron, that’s sacrilege!”
Even Catholics are allowed to make Pope jokes every now and then. We just have to mention it in our next confession.
Behold I give you Covid Midterm Election Fraud 2021!
Or, Omicron for short.
Covid is expected to approach light speed with 186,000 variants per second.
Back when I was a journalist I thought it would be great fun working for the Weekly World News. It must have been a real hoot sitting around the newsroom and thinking up the next issue’s nonsense.
they can call it what ever they want.
I’ll always call it the xi virus.
I wish I worked at the Babylon Bee. I bet it is a fun place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your wish is granted... check this note out about halfway down the page... https://babylonbee.com/news/white-smoke-emanates-from-wuhan-lab-chimney-signaling-a-new-variant-has-been-named
“A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!”
LMAO! I love you BB!! :-)
Species 8473.
I knew the source from the title. Good one.
The Shwab/Francis/FSB/MSS/Obama/Fauxi Varient -
SFFMOF Varient
Ping
Thank you for the laugh, that was hilarious.
The Bee does it again. 😂
The genre also includes the Christian band P.O.D.
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