Posted on 11/28/2021 10:12:51 AM PST by DFG
WUHAN—Thousands gathered outside the Wuhan Institute of Virology with faces of anxious anticipation over the weekend, as rumors had been circulating that a new COVID-19 variant would soon be named. The hopeful pilgrims' hours of waiting were not in vain. Cheers erupted as white smoke began pouring out of the chimney early Sunday morning, signaling the creation and naming of a new COVID-19 variant.
"It was a lively debate," said one source from inside the Wuhan lab. "Yuhang suggested we just keep following the Greek alphabet and name it Xi. We haven't heard from him in a few days, come to think of it."
"Nu" was also floated as a possibility, but scientists wanted to avoid the stigma of being associated with nu-metal, generally acknowledged as the worst musical genre on the planet. One guy kept wanting to call it "The One-Der Variant" but this was confusing as everyone kept pronouncing it as Oh-NEE-der instead of Wonder. Finally, there was a last-ditch effort to name it the Trump variant, but this was finally defeated in favor of the safer "Omicron variant" according to sources within the lab.
After the celebration died down, the pilgrims shuffled away, their faces full of cheer. But they'll be back in a few weeks for the next one.
ROTFLMFAO!!!
Wonder if Fauxi, the Hly One, was there for the vote....LOL
Habemus virum!
The Babylon Bee equates naming a new variant to electing a new Pope?
Like, oh my cron, that’s sacrilege!
I agree with skipping the name “Xi”. That was the proper name for the first variant.
The first variant was the original Xi, this one is the Nu Xi.
It normally would be sacrilegious, but the Bee is pretty much protestant, and the current pope is a communist.
LOL Nu Xi...
LOL! ... Finally, word from the Holie Sea naming the Successor!
It’s getting harder and harder to tell what’s from the Bee and what’s from the NYT. 🤣
They ought to sell naming rights to large corporations like they do with ballpark names. “The Chevrolet Virus: it’s new, it’s stylish, it’s gonna kill yer Granny!” Or maybe name them after politicians. “It’s the Pelosi virus! It’s going to ruin everything it touches!”
I saw what you did there
If they send up brown smoke, it means that Brandon sharted himself again.
There are about 200 coronaviruses and Covid is one of them, albeit a highly weaponized one.
We’re eventually going to run out of Greek letters as this virus continues to mutate. We’ll have to start numbering them instead.
Variant # 1,700
Permanent lockdown
Economy destroyed
Government controls most businesses
Dow Jones closes at 165, down 99% since 2022
Unemployment rate 85%
National debt at $180 trillion
Social Security benefits reduced by 50%
Elderly population practically wiped out.
Dr. Fauci celebrates 100th birthday and continues as U.S. Health Czar
Ha ha - the One-der variant, but people kept calling it the Oh-Need-er.
Wuhan, virus creation: it’s that thing you do.
Gotta love the BEE.
That was clever.
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