Posted on 09/17/2021 5:36:46 PM PDT by DFG
Have you ever noticed how close Trump is to Jesus? It's uncanny! Bizarre! We consulted over two theologians we found on YouTube, one of whom calls himself the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse, and we asked them to lay out for us all the similarities between our glorious savior Trump and Jesus Christ.
Here are the ten craziest coincidences:
1. Both used to be in construction before beginning their public careers. - Uncanny!
2. Both of them will be returning any day now. - Admittedly one of these is more likely to happen than the other.
3. Jesus made America, Trump made America great again. - Jesus created the world and founded America, and Trump brought it back from the brink of destruction.
4. They were both Republicans. - Obviously.
5. Jesus died and came back three days later—Trump went to Walter Reed with a cold and came back in glory. - The exact same thing! Uncanny!
6. A lot of Trump's supporters denied him afterward. - Sad! Not good!
7. Both of them are well-known for their great humility. - Trump has the best humility, everyone says so.
8. Trump feeds the hungry with the excellent taco bowls at the Trump Tower Grill. - It's just like creating food out of nothing.
9. Both were crucified, though admittedly Trump's was just by the media. - It still hurt, ok?
10. Both of them are the mortal enemy of Democrats. - Democrats hate Trump. You know who else they hate? God. That's right.
Any more eerie similarities? Let us know in the comments. Unless you're poor. Then send us your thoughts via the USPS.
Bee might have stepped in it.
I don’t have too much humor when it comes to the Lord and comparisons.
Also seems to be mocking Trump or his fanatics.
Yep, stay out of theology and the Bible, no satire required here.
I find most of these Babylon Bee posts worthless. Most are not funny at all. Perhaps 1 in 100 are funny.
Agree!
Agree!
Why else would he have put up a TRUMP sign on his property?
Deplorable!
Really? Trump is a good guy, but this is nuts.
I actually like satire and the Bee is pretty good. But this is…not.
Bee is better than the Onion, In That it at least doesn’t allow cussing.
I agree.
GOD is holy. He will not be mocked.
I’m going to cancel my email subscription and explain why.
Regards,
I liked it.
Distasteful.
Shouldn't that be a white lab coat and a NASCAR Nation?
(I'm all dressed up for the dance.)
No seriously,
David had a grand vision for the Temple he desired to build for the Name of the Lord God of Israel... all those singers, there!! But he was a man of war (♂), so the job went to his son (♂):
My daddy (♂) once told me what a man (♂) ought to be
There's much more to life than the things we can see
And the Godliest mortal (♂) you ever will know
Is the one with the dream of El Dorado.
Genesis 1.4. And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness: (= 1776)
The Wild West. See the painting "American Progress".
Can you believe it? People tend to get irritated because I am the one crying numbers and other nonsense.
The music -- in David's day they were just not ready for it yet, but his kids were gonna love it:
There's a place down the street we call Sam's PlaceYou seen his family grave? A double cave..
It starts jumpin' every evening when the sun goes down
You can always find me down at Sam's Place
For that's where the gang all hangs around.
It's Buck's Place, because the Buck stops here. "One Dollar":
Well they've got a swingin' band down at Buck's Place. (It's that famous Bakersfield Sound.)
Always a fun time in the deep well of etymologies because names of these types of instruments end up going back to the shapes of sound boxes, e.g. a grave, grotto, crypt, cavern. They also hook up with origins of words like ball, bulb, balloon, bowl, bloom...
You get the idea.
"We're bustin' outta here." ~ Moses
This morning's was the last sunrise of the 178 days of the year of first light over the "Lower 48", over on Mars (♂) Hill. Same place you'll find the "First Wind."
That would be at the place overlooking Saint John Valley. Go up the mountain: it's named "Big Rock", with the address of 37 Graves.
It's the first place of the rising of the 50-star flag.
Ezekiel 37, of wind and graves and life from the dead
When the system fails to deliver, it's time to buck the system before it bucks you.
Key to the resurrection of the dead:
Oh, the sun's gonna shine in my life once more
Love's gonna live here again
Things are gonna be the way they were before
Love's gonna live here again
The place was named for Hezekiah Mars.
The king and sundial:
Hezekiah asked for a sign, and Isaiah asked him whether the shadow should go forward ten degrees or go back ten degrees. Hezekiah said it should go back...It had to go back! :)https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hezekiah#Hezekiah's_illness_and_recovery
Here's more intel from Buck's Place, the sounds rising from the graves (sound boxes):
Open up your heart and let my love come inThere's much more to life than the things we can see.
Open up your heart and let my life begin
The sun's gonna shine There'll be blue skies again
When you open up your heart and let my love come in
There's more than one way to "bring down the house."
But hey, if folks don't hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead.
So what's the deal with Jesus' outfit, anyway? It's always the same across the art world.
What century do they think this is? The quintessential man (♂) of the wilderness shops at Cabela's, The World's Foremost Outfitter.
I assume you like horse-racing too.
:)
After reading the comments I see another similarity:
Both had a lot of followers that really need to lighten up.
BRAVO!
I’ve been reading comments, after posting that I liked it. Really glad to read your post. :)
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