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'Pfizer+' Monthly Booster Subscription Program Announced
Babylon Bee ^ | 08/19/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/19/2021 11:39:24 AM PDT by DFG

NEW YORK, NY—Following the popular trend of providing consumers constant access to products or services they think they need, Pfizer has announced a subscription service that will provide monthly COVID-19 vaccines to all members, called Pfizer+.

Pfizer+ offers the following additional benefits:

Monthly vaccine booster Access to some of Pfizer’s other popular drugs Gold badge for social media virtue signals Video library of the mainstream media shaming unvaccinated individuals Pfizer+ will also launch with a Super Premium Plus tier for the consumer who just can’t get enough of giant pharmaceutical companies with shady pasts. Benefits include:

An autographed photo of Dr. Fauci A mobile app that alerts you when an unvaccinated person is nearby Monthly shipment of masks Monthly fees for the service were not announced, as Pfizer has partnered with the IRS to extract an annual fee from all taxpayers for the foreseeable future.

On launch day, the pharmaceutical giant announced Pfizer+ subscriptions had generated enough profits to pay for the billions of dollars in criminal and civil lawsuits stemming from decades of false advertising, data manipulation, bribing foreign government officials, and lying to doctors.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: booster; fauci; pfizer; subscription
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1 posted on 08/19/2021 11:39:24 AM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Is it like ‘Flavor of the Month Club”?..............


2 posted on 08/19/2021 11:41:01 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: DFG

Pretty soon they’ll be like insulin shots. One after every meal.


3 posted on 08/19/2021 11:42:42 AM PDT by P-Marlowe (I identify as fully vaccinated. )
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To: P-Marlowe
Pretty soon they’ll be like insulin shots. One after every meal.

What, they don't make them in the Dexcom version.

4 posted on 08/19/2021 11:44:19 AM PDT by 1Old Pro (Let's make crime illegal again!)
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To: P-Marlowe

Just wait until the Delta Tau Chi variant hits!


5 posted on 08/19/2021 11:44:21 AM PDT by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)
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To: DFG

I thought it was real.


6 posted on 08/19/2021 11:47:55 AM PDT by Luke21
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To: DFG

I’m feel pretty darn good about myself. I am finally trained to read the byline before believing an article.


7 posted on 08/19/2021 11:52:15 AM PDT by ConservativeInPA (“When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.” ― Thomas Jefferson)
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To: P-Marlowe

[ Pretty soon they’ll be like insulin shots. One after every meal. ]

That IS the END-GAME goal of Big Pharma you know!


8 posted on 08/19/2021 11:54:09 AM PDT by GraceG ("If I post an AWESOME MEME, STEAL IT! JUST RE-POST IT IN TWO PLACES PLEASE")
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To: P-Marlowe

been saying folks are gonna be required to walk around with IV Drip lines dripping covid vaccine in constantly-


9 posted on 08/19/2021 12:00:17 PM PDT by Bob434
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To: DFG

Trump dismisses COVID-19 booster shots as a ‘money-making operation’ for Pfizer!

https://news.yahoo.com ^ | August 18, 2021 | Eliza Relman
Posted on 8/19/2021, 11:37:03 AM by RomanSoldier19

Former President Donald Trump on Wednesday suggested that vaccine booster shots aren’t medically necessary and instead are being pushed by pharmaceutical companies purely for profit.

“That sounds to me like a money-making operation for Pfizer,” Trump, who was secretly vaccinated last January at the White House, told Fox Business host Maria Bartiromo. “Think of the money involved. An extra shot … How good a business is that? If you’re a pure businessman, you’d say, ‘you know what, let’s give them another shot,’ that’s another $10 billion of money coming in - the whole thing is crazy.”

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com …

https://news.yahoo.com/trump-dismisses-covid-19-booster-184022005.html


Americans who have received two COVID-19 vaccine doses are considered fully vaccinated, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy said on Aug. 18.

See https://www.theepochtimes.com/people-who-get-2-covid-19-shots-are-fully-vaccinated-without-booster-surgeon-general_3955795.html


10 posted on 08/19/2021 12:02:07 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (If I wanted to live in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, UK, China, Cuba, or Chicago! I'd move there! )
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To: All

Has anyone at Pfizer tested the impact of a third shot on already vaccinated people, or are they just assuming it’s going to be okay?


11 posted on 08/19/2021 12:07:19 PM PDT by DHerion
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To: DHerion

Of course it’ll be OK ... for their “bottom line”.


12 posted on 08/19/2021 12:09:49 PM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: P-Marlowe

Not to mention the gazillions of dollars to be made off the sheeple.


13 posted on 08/19/2021 12:12:30 PM PDT by hsmomx3
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To: DFG

They should start Frequent Jabber Rewards programs. You get 1 point per jab. 100 points you get a toaster or phone case. 500 points you get a $20 gift card to major retailer. 5000 points you get a flat screen TV.


14 posted on 08/19/2021 12:25:38 PM PDT by BiglyCommentary
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To: DuncanWaring

32 Billion so far this year or whenever they do their accounting. Obviously not enough. It never is for those with the greed virus.


15 posted on 08/19/2021 12:35:02 PM PDT by xp38
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To: DFG

What? No rewards program attached to it?


16 posted on 08/19/2021 12:35:24 PM PDT by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne )
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To: Red Badger

The pumpkin spice booster shot is coming just in time for autumn.


17 posted on 08/19/2021 12:36:59 PM PDT by SlipperySlope99
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To: DHerion
"Has anyone at Pfizer tested the impact of a third shot on already vaccinated people, or are they just assuming it’s going to be okay?"

Silly human. The clinical trials are being conducted in the here and now...with each new jab.

18 posted on 08/19/2021 12:37:05 PM PDT by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne )
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To: SlipperySlope99
"The pumpkin spice booster shot is coming just in time for autumn."

No thanks. I'm partial to the Salted Carmel Mocha booster.

19 posted on 08/19/2021 12:37:55 PM PDT by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne )
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To: Grampa Dave

A headline from today: “Oxford University Study: Fully vaccinated people with “breakthrough” COVID Delta infections carry as much virus as the unvaccinated.”


20 posted on 08/19/2021 12:39:51 PM PDT by mass55th ("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne )
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