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Top 10 Reasons You Should Just Turn Your Guns Over To The Government TODAY
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/26/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/26/2021 2:43:38 PM PDT by DFG

So, you still have guns in your house, huh?

First of all, shame on you. Second of all, we realize you may be slightly hesitant about just turning them all over to the government, so we put together a list of reasons (out of the hundreds of reasons) you should just turn in your guns right now. Read and learn, you bitter clinger!

1) The government is very trustworthy and would never hurt anyone: Also, they have nukes. Resistance is futile. Just hand 'em over!

2) With your gun safe empty, you now have a neat place to hide when robbers break into your home: Let your gun safe keep YOU safe! As an added bonus, you can now use your gun safe to store all your surgical masks and vaccination cards!

3) Instead of shooting clays on Thanksgiving, you can play great games with your family, like Monopoly: Nothing brings a family together like Monopoly!

4) The government needs your guns so they can shoot people trying to sell loose cigarettes: Donate your firearms to the noble cause of fighting the evil forces trying to sell untaxed cigarettes to people who can't afford a full pack!

5) You can spend the time you used to spend at the gun range educating yourself: With time, maybe you can learn to be less problematic.

6) The government will donate your guns to a noble cause: Like drug cartels and insurgents in the Middle East. Think of how much good your gun could be doing right now in the government's hands!

7) You can rest assured knowing that criminals will turn in their guns too: Criminals always do the right thing when given the chance.

8) Now you can defend your home with a cool spiked mace and broadsword: Come on—who doesn't want to do this? Turn in your gun and defend your home like a REAL man.

9) You'll be a rich man not having to buy ammo: Are you tired of getting in fights with your wife about how much you spend on guns and ammo? Plus, you'll have more money to spend on masks!

10) What's the worst that could happen? Just give it a try! Could be fun, actually!


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ammo; babylonbee; banglist; government; gun; humor; monopoly

1 posted on 07/26/2021 2:43:38 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

Another reason: The government agents will not have to pry the gun from your cold, dead hands.


2 posted on 07/26/2021 2:47:28 PM PDT by alloysteel ( Cows don't give milk. You have to work for it.)
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To: DFG

Shopping list
~Spiked mace
~Broadsword
~more ammo


3 posted on 07/26/2021 2:53:08 PM PDT by READINABLUESTATE (CENSORSHIP = VIOLENCE)
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To: READINABLUESTATE

~more ammo


Good luck with that.

(Actually, a store near me has more .223/5.56 ammo than you can shake the proverbial stick at ... but no primers).


4 posted on 07/26/2021 2:56:33 PM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: DFG

Australians gave up their guns. Now the police are threatening to arrest those that show up to protest mask mandates and other Covid restriction.

Gee, it is almost like the government knows it can only enslave an unarmed citizenry.


5 posted on 07/26/2021 2:56:45 PM PDT by taxcontrol (You are entitled to your opinion, no matter how wrong it is.)
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To: DFG

Problem: How do I prove to that nice Government Vaxxer/Inspector that I had that tragic boating incident? Ever try to prove a negative to a bureaucrat? My luck would be that the person at the door would be Lois Learner and me without a gun in the house!


6 posted on 07/26/2021 2:58:08 PM PDT by SES1066 (Ask not what the LEFT can do for you, rather ask what the LEFT is doing to YOU!)
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To: SES1066

I didn’t have a tragic boating accident. I turned all of mine in at a no questions asked government sponsored gun buyback.


7 posted on 07/26/2021 3:07:27 PM PDT by cyclotic (Live your life in such a way that they hate you as much as they hated Rush Limbaugh)
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To: DFG

Does the confiscation include air guns?

It will in the future.


8 posted on 07/26/2021 3:13:18 PM PDT by 353FMG
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To: DFG

Halberd, just saying


9 posted on 07/26/2021 3:24:59 PM PDT by rigelkentaurus
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To: DuncanWaring

Well OUR local store has had lots of 6MM Creedmoor on the shelves all through the ammo drought!;-)


10 posted on 07/26/2021 3:32:22 PM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar ((Democrats have declared us to be THE OBSOLETE MAN in the Twilight Zone.))
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To: taxcontrol

They do know it that is why the Australian govt. did itl


11 posted on 07/26/2021 3:34:01 PM PDT by Nebr FAL owner (Treason is the reason for Democrat Sedition & Subversion)
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To: taxcontrol
Gee, it is almost like the government knows it can only enslave an unarmed citizenry.

First thing!

12 posted on 07/26/2021 3:59:50 PM PDT by FatherofFive (We support Trump. Not the GOP)
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To: DFG
Posted elsewhere- but unknown truth- fits with the BEE:

OFF subject--Texas--Got email- no source-Email:

Just a hunch, but I bet this lofty, peace bill does not pass the Texas legislature.

----------------------------------

If you are a Second Amendment person you will find this almost laughable ...

In Texas, State Representative Terry Meza (D- Irving) has introduced HB196. Her bill would repeal the state's "Castle Doctrine." This doctrine allows a homeowner to use deadly force against an armed intruder who breaks into his home. "I'm not saying that stealing is okay," Meza explained. "All I'm saying is that it doesn't warrant a death penalty. Thieves only carry weapons for self-protection and to provide the householder an incentive to cooperate. They just want to get their loot and get away. When the resident tries to resist is when people get hurt. If only one side is armed fewer people will be killed."

Meza was quick to reassure that her bill would not totally prevent homeowners from defending themselves.

Now listen to what she has to say...

Under her new law, “… the homeowner's obligation is to flee the home at the first sign of intrusion. If fleeing is not possible, he must cooperate with the intruder. But if violence breaks out it is the homeowner's responsibility to make sure no one gets hurt. The best way to achieve this is to use the minimum non-lethal force possible because intruders will be able to sue for any injuries they receive at the hands of the homeowner.

"In most instances the thief needs the money more than the homeowner does," Meza reasoned. "The homeowner's insurance reimburse his losses. On balance, the transfer of property is likely to lead to a more equitable distribution of wealth. If my bill can help make this transfer a peaceful one so much the better."

JUST an EMAIL!

13 posted on 07/26/2021 4:14:46 PM PDT by Mark (Celebrities... is there anything they do not know? Homer Simpson)
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To: Mark

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why they sell backhoes.


14 posted on 07/26/2021 4:23:13 PM PDT by GreyHoundSailor
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To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

6MM or 6.5MM?


15 posted on 07/26/2021 4:30:19 PM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: Mark

Anyone with that moronic mindset does NOT belong in government. Instead, they need to be locked up in an insane asylum...forever.


16 posted on 07/26/2021 4:38:23 PM PDT by lgjhn23 (Pray for America....)
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To: Mark

On balance, the transfer of property is likely to lead to a more equitable distribution of wealth. If my bill can help make this transfer a peaceful one so much the better."

Obviously a mandated 'Safe District' filled with LIVs (Low Information Voters) who have voted 'D' their entire lives! Beyond that, ... what an IDIOT!

17 posted on 07/26/2021 4:47:17 PM PDT by SES1066 (Ask not what the LEFT can do for you, rather ask what the LEFT is doing to YOU!)
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To: DuncanWaring

6MM.


18 posted on 07/26/2021 6:12:42 PM PDT by Ruy Dias de Bivar ((Democrats have declared us to be THE OBSOLETE MAN in the Twilight Zone.))
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To: Mark

She’s really
Demented!


19 posted on 07/27/2021 1:33:14 PM PDT by Big Red Badger (Be Still and Know that I Am God. Rev 19)
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