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Public School Student Can't Read But Is Already Racist At A 12th-Grade Level
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/06/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/06/2021 4:22:44 PM PDT by DFG

CHICAGO, IL—Local second-grader Scotty Watkins isn’t able to read yet, but his teachers say he’s showing great promise in Critical Race Theory (CRT) classes and is currently racist at a 12th-grade level.

“Scotty’s progress is truly remarkable,” said his teacher Sandra Martinelli. “Though he can’t read full sentences yet, he’s in the 99th percentile in CRT. Every time he sees a white person, he reflexively yells ‘RACIST’ and punches them in the groin. He's years ahead of his classmates!”

Chicago added a CRT section to their standardized testing last fall which allows the district to compare students’ understanding of race relations across different schools. Since most second-graders in Chicago can’t read, the test involved showing photos of people with different skin colors to the students, then asking how hard the students wanted to punch each photo.

The children were then shown flashcards of everyday objects such as apples, trees, books, chairs, and pencils and asked to identify which items were racist. Scotty earned perfect marks on both tests: he only punched the white people on the first test and properly identified each of the 132 everyday objects as racist in the second.

Martinelli said Scotty will be part of a pilot that sends a few promising third-graders to high school next fall to take advanced-level racism courses. “It will be a great opportunity for Scotty to continue his progress in CRT,” she said. “He might even learn to read in the process.”


TOPICS: Education; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; crt; education

1 posted on 07/06/2021 4:22:44 PM PDT by DFG
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To: DFG

What’s in the Bee today is in the news in two weeks!


2 posted on 07/06/2021 4:27:34 PM PDT by FatherofFive (We support Trump. Not the GOP)
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To: DFG

Most kids can’t read when they are in 12th grade either when they go to Chicago schools. That isn’t satire. The Bee should would a Pulitzer.


3 posted on 07/06/2021 4:29:42 PM PDT by ConservativeInPA (“When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.” ― Thomas Jefferson)
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To: FatherofFive

The real paper of record.


4 posted on 07/06/2021 4:31:47 PM PDT by xkaydet65 ( )
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To: DFG

The Babylon Bee must be having a hard time making their headlines outlandish enough to stand apart from the already ludicrous news rendered unto us by the yapping drones from the Bureau of Misinformation.


5 posted on 07/06/2021 4:48:49 PM PDT by wildcard_redneck ( COVID lockdowns are the Establishment's attack on the middle class and our Republic )
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To: DFG

When stupid is hard to come up with because all the good stupid is already being practiced in real life by the idiotic left.


6 posted on 07/06/2021 5:10:25 PM PDT by Bullish (CNN is what happens when 8th graders run a cable network.)
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To: ConservativeInPA

In the Antebellum South 10% of slaves could read. Today I doubt 10% of urban students can read on grade level.


7 posted on 07/06/2021 5:47:07 PM PDT by cnsmom
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To: cnsmom

Perhaps people should tell them they are not allowed to read and their stats will go up.


8 posted on 07/06/2021 5:52:59 PM PDT by ConservativeInPA (“When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty.” ― Thomas Jefferson)
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