Posted on 07/02/2021 2:12:19 PM PDT by DFG
U.S.—Scientists have discovered mounting evidence that critical race theory escaped from a lab in a college humanities department some decades ago. Originally thought to be a deranged conspiracy theory, the idea that CRT escaped from a liberal arts program is now accepted as mainstream consensus.
"While many believed the deadly CRT virus arose naturally out of centuries of systemic oppression, it now appears to have been manmade," said Dr. Xander Willow of Hillsdale College. "It looks like some good-for-nothing liberal arts majors were messing around with some old law textbooks and experimenting with applying critical race theory to all of life. As we can see, their gain-of-racism research had terrible results."
While researchers could not trace the virus all the way back to patient zero, scientific evidence indicates the first carrier of CRT was "almost certainly a white woman with purple hair who screamed a lot." "Yeah, her name was probably Chloe or Claire. Or maybe Karen. It's hard to tell based on the evidence we have, but genetics indicates this virus definitely evolved from a woman afflicted by white guilt."
"Her actions in developing and releasing this virus on the population may prove to be deadlier than any other virus yet."
To fight CRT, experts are recommending loving your neighbor no matter what their skin color is, seeing a person instead of a race, and reading your Bible. Also, hydroxychloroquine.
LOL. These guys are good!
Thanks for posting.
I heard the Wakanda Institute of Virology was performing Gain of Function research on the Black Liberation Theology Virus.
The last paragraph of these missives is always such a great LOL-inducing “stinger”.
A bunch of us in grad school did that sort of thing (inventing fake history and literary nonsense) to avoid going crazy studying for prelim exams. It was similar to Peabody's Improbable History.
Geez, if we had only thought to publish we could have gotten tenure at UNC.
The Bee strikes again!!!!!!
BB,
“ You’re killin’ me, Smalls.”
The title alone had me laughing!
“Xander Willow” A little Buffy reference, maybe?
Funny and on-target as always!
It didn’t “escape.” It was a virus deliberated developed and released as a weapon targeted on western civilization.
Wow! I am a huge Buffy fan and I didn’t even notice that!
White Guilt BS. There were more white indentured servants then blacks.
Be careful with Wakanda satire. Many blacks think it’s real or should be real but the white man is interfering with their natural destiny. It’s an amazing civilization for people with an average 84 IQ.
What was your masters in?
Brilliant indeed. The Bee is the best.
“gain-of-racism research”
Exactly.
LOL< needed this today.
and changing it’s name to “Courageous Conversations” to hide it is not working
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