Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Nation's Teenage Boys Suddenly Much Less Interested In Finding Victoria's Secret Catalog In The Mail
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/17/2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/17/2021 3:17:00 PM PDT by DFG

Reports from across the nation indicated that teenage boys are suddenly much less interested in sneaking to the mailbox and taking out the mailers and fliers from Victoria's Secret in the mail before their parents get to them.

The change seemed to have something to do with the lingerie and women's clothing company announcing the cancellation of its supermodels, the "Angels", who are being replaced with feminist icons such as Megan Rapinoe.

"Yeah, you know what? Mom can keep this one," said one disappointed boy, Oliver Hampton, putting the catalog back in the mailbox after seeing Rapinoe on the cover. He then went and did something more productive and less sinful with his time, pwning his friends in Fortnite.

Christians across the nation, though, are hailing the move as a big win for purity, since fewer men will be tempted to look at the scantily clad women. "Most men won't even have to avert their eyes when walking by the stores anymore," said one pastor. "Frankly, this is the biggest win for the abstinence movement since Star Wars came out."

At publishing time, Victoria's Secret had tried to win back its key teenage boy demographic by unveiling a new model: Amy Schumer.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: victoria; vs
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-66 next last

1 posted on 06/17/2021 3:17:00 PM PDT by DFG
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: DFG

Victoria’s Secret secret is spreading fast ,LOL


2 posted on 06/17/2021 3:18:46 PM PDT by butlerweave
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG
When I was growing up, it was Playboy and Penthouse. They had some good articles. And Penthouse, they had quite the "forum" back in the day.

Now Hustler, that was for the really depraved among us!

3 posted on 06/17/2021 3:19:47 PM PDT by SamAdams76 (Give me a Pigfoot and a Bottle of Beer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Might as well go with old National Geographic now.


4 posted on 06/17/2021 3:20:09 PM PDT by Pollard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SamAdams76

When I was about 8 years old, I’d settle for the SEARS catalog.


5 posted on 06/17/2021 3:21:16 PM PDT by CivilWarBrewing (Get off my back for my usage of CAPS, especially you snowflake males! MAN UP!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: SamAdams76

I used to like the cartoon in playboy with the two guys hanging in a dungeon.


6 posted on 06/17/2021 3:21:49 PM PDT by Pollard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: CivilWarBrewing

I went National Geographic banana titties...


7 posted on 06/17/2021 3:22:42 PM PDT by EEGator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: DFG
"Frankly, this is the biggest win for the abstinence movement since Star Wars came out."

This is Kurt Schictler-worthy, and why the Bee deserves the Mark Twain award.

8 posted on 06/17/2021 3:23:33 PM PDT by Sirius Lee (They intend to murder us. Prep if you want to live and live like you are prepping for eternal life)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG
Please Stand Up..
9 posted on 06/17/2021 3:24:07 PM PDT by Mr. Rabbit
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG
Catalogs are moot anyway because ANYONE OF ANY AGE has access to tons of porn on the Internet, including free live camera feeds if so desired.

IMO, it's WAY TOO EASY to get to and that's plain sicko. Even a simple Google search can lead an underage kid to that stuff.

10 posted on 06/17/2021 3:24:58 PM PDT by CivilWarBrewing (Get off my back for my usage of CAPS, especially you snowflake males! MAN UP!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

They can get all the porn they want free online.


11 posted on 06/17/2021 3:25:08 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (“Unlimited power in the hands of limited people always leads to cruelty.” ― Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn,)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

“Nation’s Teenage Boys Suddenly Much Less Interested In Finding Victoria’s Secret Catalog In The Mail..”

One less left handed magazine!


12 posted on 06/17/2021 3:25:46 PM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EEGator

What about pancake ones? Mom says it’s okay to look at if she has a plate in her bottom lip, ROFL!


13 posted on 06/17/2021 3:26:57 PM PDT by CivilWarBrewing (Get off my back for my usage of CAPS, especially you snowflake males! MAN UP!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: EEGator

I was just thinking of those.


14 posted on 06/17/2021 3:28:41 PM PDT by Bloodandgravy (Power likes to walk on crooked legs)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: CivilWarBrewing

Meh, they’re okay.
Pacific Islanders were the best of the NatGeo boob.


15 posted on 06/17/2021 3:28:45 PM PDT by EEGator
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: EEGator

Don’t forget the Sears catalog...


16 posted on 06/17/2021 3:29:47 PM PDT by DesertRhino (Dog is man's best friend, and moslems hate dogs. Add that up. ....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: DFG

My fave SI cover of all time when they didn't put fatties and trannies on the swimsuit issue.

17 posted on 06/17/2021 3:30:27 PM PDT by NohSpinZone (First thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Victoria’s Secret only comes in Big , Bigger and Massive now


18 posted on 06/17/2021 3:30:57 PM PDT by butlerweave
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DFG

Porn everywhere on line. Victoria S is old hat.


19 posted on 06/17/2021 3:31:00 PM PDT by Vaquero ( Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SamAdams76

I always thought those Forum stories were fake, until one day when I was posting on Free Republic and got some Freepmail...


20 posted on 06/17/2021 3:31:17 PM PDT by monkeyshine (live and let live is dead)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-66 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson