Posted on 05/10/2021 10:53:46 AM PDT by John Semmens
Inspired by FDR's Civilian Conservation Corps, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (D-NY) wants to establish a Civilian Climate Change Corps (CCCC).
"This Corps will achieve two major objectives," she said. "First, it will battle the scourge of carbon dioxide that is the chief culprit in global warming. Second, it will provide jobs for healthy young people and help extricate our economy from the depression inflicted on it by Trump."
"The main method the Corps will employ is to practice slow breathing," the Congresswoman explained. "Normally, young people are very active. In this active state heavy breathing takes place. This means increased volumes of carbon dioxide are exhaled. This aggravates the greenhouse effect. By organizing these youths to spend full workdays consisting of repose the amount of CO2 emitted will be substantially reduced."
Co-sponsor of the proposed legislation Sen. Edward Markey (D-Mass) said "ideally, a starting cadre would be trained in carbon dioxide reduction techniques such as sofa surfing, lolling around, and catnaps extending to 20 hours a day. Once trained they would go back among their peers as apostles of these techniques as multilevel marketing envoys acquiring converts who would expand the operation at an exponential rate. The only thing I can think of that might have a greater impact would be mass suicide."
President Biden is said to be onboard with the CCCC idea. Deputy press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre claimed that "the President was modeling the slow breathing technique all throughout the 2020 campaign. Instead of wasting his breath crisscrossing the country holding rallies like Trump did, he was spending most of each day napping and chilling at home. He believes that if more people could do this more of the time we could substantially slow the emission of CO2 and perhaps prevent climate change from destroying the planet. And for God's sake, wear a mask. Inhaling your own CO2 saves someone else from having to inhale it."
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=436306.0
AOC..the musical.
Make her General in charge of it ,LOL
Make AOC volcano inspector.
Na , she would be better as the General Disaster ,LOL
This may be satire, but I seem to recall something of the sort being seriously proposed early in 2016 before Trump showed up and stole all the headlines.
Great idea as long as AOC pays for it from her own pocket.
Nope, she’ll steal the money from the tip jar!
This is how the Nazis got around military restrictions imposed upon Germany, post The Great War. When Germany was severely limited on numbers of soldiers allowed in the Wehrmacht (100,000), the way to beat this was to create various ‘civilian’ shadow military groups in plain site.
For instance, you can train people how to properly drill with a rifle, by using a shovel instead. So, you get civilian battalions building the Autobahn. AND, you drill these men just the same as you would any soldier in the military, exactly the same! So, when it’s time for war, you have millions of soldiers already trained and ready for battle, thanks to shovel training.
It’s all there in Triumph Of The Will.
Will they have stylish brown shirts to represent the earf they’re saving?
On a related note, I want to know when we’re going to start cracking down on carbonated beverages. It’s CO2 after all.
“No fizz for you.” - from AOC’s carbon nazi’s.
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