Posted on 08/16/2020 2:14:59 PM PDT by DFG
‘Twas the night before Sunday, when through GCC, No Spirit was stirring, for those gifts had ceased. The hymnals were nestled all snug in their pews, For J-Mac was coming to preach the good news.
Then in crept Ol' Gavin, with loathing and spite To snatch up those hymnals, in the dead of the night. He went one by one, threw each one in his sack From the very first pew, to the one in the back.
Then Newsom he laughed, such a terrible laugh, And said, “This will cut their dumb service in half!” “No worship, no singing, they’ll cry and they’ll scream!” “That will teach them for messing with COVID-19!”
But poor Gavin was shocked, when to his dismay He heard the church singing, the very next day He heard high notes and low notes, horns, violins, For the old folks had memorized all of the hymns.
“For the old folks had memorized all of the hymns.”
And even some of the young folks too, all the way down to little Cindy Lou W.H.O.
“Is this satire? If so, it is almost too believable to be satire?”
Honest question, if the Bee changed their style from satire to straight-up journalism, would anyone notice?
Top Ten!!!!!
This time the title was the giveaway, but the person who wrote this did a brilliant job.
Absolutely!!
Agree 100%.
Probably not.
They did decide to stop trying to satirize Joe Biden.
They found they could not do it.
Do they have a sermon archive?
I would like to hear that one and the one he preached a couple weeks ago where he put CA on notice that they were not going to submit to its tyranny.
Enjoy.
The Babylon Bee at its finest..
But when its time for the offering, most all pastors hope God "speaks" to hearts. For some churches, that is the most Pentecostal part of the service!
Like these, by the grace of God.
I am familiar with, or have at least heard most of those. “Christ Arose,” “He Hideth My Soul” and “Jesus Saves” are among my all-time favorites.
“Thy Word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against Thee!”
Psalm 119:11
Lol!
Mark; we are humbled...
‘Twas the night before Sunday, when through GCC,
No Spirit was stirring, for those gifts had ceased.
The hymnals were nestled all snug in their pews,
For J-Mac was coming to preach the good news.
Then in crept Ol’ Gavin, with loathing and spite
To snatch up those hymnals, in the dead of the night.
He went one by one, threw each one in his sack
From the very first pew, to the one in the back.
Then Newsom he laughed, such a terrible laugh,
And said, “This will cut their dumb service in half!”
“No worship, no singing, they’ll cry and they’ll scream!”
“That will teach them for messing with COVID-19!”
But poor Gavin was shocked, when to his dismay
He heard the church singing, the very next day
He heard high notes and low notes, horns, violins,
For the old folks had memorized all of the hymns.
I can picture the Grinch doing this very thing!!
Absolutely!
I will mail you
Bravo! Now you’ve planted that tune in my head for the day ... great parody work that.
Thank you!
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