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SATIRE Chick-Fil-A Now Open On Sunday But Only For Black People
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/19/2020

Posted on 06/19/2020 4:29:24 PM PDT by DFG

Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy announced yesterday that his fast-food restaurant will be ending its long-standing policy on Sunday closure, but only for black people.

"We are leading the way towards racial reconciliation in this country," Cathy said. "And everyone knows the best way to achieve racial reconciliation is to segregate black people and make them feel as awkward as possible. Chick-fil-A is dedicated to providing the blacks with a safe space so that they can be properly honored."

Chick-fil-A will be providing racial justice training for all its employees. Sunday employees will all be required to wear traditional African Kente cloths as they serve food in the dining room. They will also offer to shine customer's sneakers for free as they eat. Most notably, there will also be a change to the traditional polite phrase uttered by every Chick-fil-A employee after their sacrificial acts of lovingkindness. When addressing white people, workers will still say "my pleasure!" When addressing people of color, workers will now say "my privilege!" while kneeling respectfully.

Further changes will be seen during the rest of the week as well. Dining rooms will be rearranged to provide a separate place of honor for minorities to sit. They will also be provided with separate bathrooms and drinking fountains. Chick-fil-A leadership insists that this new "separate and more equal" policy will make their restaurants bright shining beacons of racial reconciliation for the world to emulate.

"Chick-fil-A will always be a kind and welcoming place for the blacks, the Chinamen, and those people who wear that red dot on their foreheads," Cathy said. "Just please don't steal the sauces and we'll be cool. Or if you want to steal the sauces, that's ok too. We honor you."

Cathy also apologized for serving white meat and promised more diversity in the future.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cathy; chickfila; satire; shinebox; shineshoes; sunday
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To: Fledermaus

Nowadays, I have to check the URL to see whether or not an article is from the Babylon Bee. Reality is racing toward absurdity almost too quickly to parody.


21 posted on 06/19/2020 4:50:19 PM PDT by rightwingcrazy (;-,)
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To: Fledermaus

I called CFA Corporate HQ in Atlanta today to tell them of my disgust over Dan Cathy’s comment about whites shining blacks shoes for the “Shame of Racism.”
I was nice, really tried to be nice.


22 posted on 06/19/2020 4:51:12 PM PDT by Joe Marine 76 ("Honor is a man's gift to himself." ~ Rob Roy MacGregor)
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To: DFG

Indeed! It’s insulting for black oriole to have to eat in the same room as white folk (white servers excepted)


23 posted on 06/19/2020 5:00:41 PM PDT by faithhopecharity (Politicians are not born, theyÂ’re excreted. Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: DFG

Have to shine sodomites shoes soon too. Never cede territory to the enemy.


24 posted on 06/19/2020 5:03:59 PM PDT by Long Jon No Silver
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To: Joe Marine 76

What was their response?


25 posted on 06/19/2020 5:04:56 PM PDT by conservative98
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To: Stravinsky

The Chick fil A CEO has already done that shoe shining ritual , literally. Liberal White Guilt has never been a hotter or more reliable weakness to play upon, or more pathetic to those who are infected with it, and more costly to the guilt-stricken than ever. No longer any need to respond to a shake-down, now the CEO of major corps are shaking themselves down, giving millions to fund their own destruction.


26 posted on 06/19/2020 5:30:46 PM PDT by supremedoctrine
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To: DFG

Dang, almost had me.


27 posted on 06/19/2020 5:33:58 PM PDT by dynachrome (The panic will end, the tyranny will not)
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To: DFG

Chick-Swill-a,,,
.
How much did they
Give to SPLC??


28 posted on 06/19/2020 5:48:20 PM PDT by Big Red Badger (He Hath Not Given Us A Spirit Of Fear)
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To: DFG

I don’t what’s funnier the fake article or the freepers that bought into it!!!!!


29 posted on 06/19/2020 5:48:51 PM PDT by ontap
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To: HighSierra5

Watch the Video,
You Will Hurl!


30 posted on 06/19/2020 6:08:10 PM PDT by Big Red Badger (He Hath Not Given Us A Spirit Of Fear)
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To: Fledermaus; manc
I am serious. I know it’s the Bee but it’s based on CFA CEO saying we should shine blacks shoes.

Yes, it's called sarcasm. Guess that's a foreign language to you.

Either that, or your strung up WAY too high.

31 posted on 06/19/2020 6:09:55 PM PDT by COBOL2Java (Hillary Clinton: Just like Joe with only half the dementia.)
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To: EEGator
This isn’t real, but Dan Cathy said White people should shine Black people’s shoes to help atone for slavery.

Gee whiz, I guess that's where the Bee got their idea for a SARCASM story.

Lord, help me....

32 posted on 06/19/2020 6:10:58 PM PDT by COBOL2Java (Hillary Clinton: Just like Joe with only half the dementia.)
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To: ontap
I don’t what’s funnier the fake article or the freepers that bought into it!!!!!

What's worse are the freepers who knew it was the Bee but are still jacked up. That's just sad.

33 posted on 06/19/2020 6:13:03 PM PDT by COBOL2Java (Hillary Clinton: Just like Joe with only half the dementia.)
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To: COBOL2Java

They’re mad about the real story jackass.


34 posted on 06/19/2020 6:20:28 PM PDT by EEGator
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To: Stravinsky

The Chick fil A CEO has already done that shoe shining ritual , literally. Liberal White Guilt has never been a hotter or more reliable weakness to play upon, or more pathetic to those who are infected with it, and more costly to the guilt-stricken than ever. No longer any need to respond to a shake-down, now the CEO of major corps are shaking themselves down, giving millions to fund their own destruction.


35 posted on 06/19/2020 6:20:29 PM PDT by supremedoctrine
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To: DFG

And shoe shine stands will be out front and ready to rent by white folks.


36 posted on 06/19/2020 6:44:18 PM PDT by Midwesterner53
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To: COBOL2Java

I don’t normally post on Free-Republic, but you need to shut the hell up and go back to MSNBC. Getting tired of Karens like you.


37 posted on 06/19/2020 9:50:46 PM PDT by ThunderStruck94
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To: Hulka; manc; cdcdawg; Kozak; Stravinsky; Sacajaweau; LeoTDB69; wally_bert; COBOL2Java; ...
Fledermaus and others pointed out this sarcasm article in the Bee was based on something that actually happened.

Watch it here:

The Beloved Community - Dan Cathy, Lecrae, Louie Giglio

During the discussion, Cathy said that white people could atone for racism in the U.S. and express their “shame” by shining the shoes of black people.

Aye-yai-yai, so once again, fact is stranger than fiction, even in the Babylon Bee.

The strange act of White Guilt starts at time point 40:00 minutes.

38 posted on 06/20/2020 12:56:51 AM PDT by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken)
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To: DFG

haha! Chik Fil A is a favorite of mine, but man, they are groveling like hell.


39 posted on 06/20/2020 3:46:08 AM PDT by ronniesgal (so I wonder what his FR handle is???? and let's get back to living!!!)
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To: conservative98

No response.


40 posted on 06/21/2020 4:38:58 AM PDT by Joe Marine 76 ("Honor is a man's gift to himself." ~ Rob Roy MacGregor)
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