Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Oh crap, I just touched my face.

Posted on 04/29/2020 9:25:02 AM PDT by Jeff Chandler

click here to read article


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-66 next last
To: Jeff Chandler

I Touch Myself
by the Divinyls

I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
Oh, I don’t want anybody else, oh, no
Oh, no, oh, no


41 posted on 04/29/2020 11:26:26 AM PDT by Alas Babylon! (The prisons do not fill themselves. Get moving, Barr!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: glennaro

I KNEW I should have scrolled down more!


42 posted on 04/29/2020 11:27:49 AM PDT by Alas Babylon! (The prisons do not fill themselves. Get moving, Barr!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler

I touch my face much more frequently when I try and think about not touching it


43 posted on 04/29/2020 11:42:48 AM PDT by Cyclops08
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler

Should have touched you face with your cell phone. That’s ok. Well it is if you Social Distance properly.


44 posted on 04/29/2020 12:45:52 PM PDT by Pollard (shadowbanned)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler
 
 
Sorry bro, but I'm afraid you're doomed (DOOMED!).
 
 
 

45 posted on 04/29/2020 1:09:49 PM PDT by lapsus calami (What's that stink? Code Pink ! ! And their buddy Murtha, too!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Responsibility2nd

Everything you read on the internet is true!
Your’s truly George Washington


46 posted on 04/29/2020 3:02:39 PM PDT by Keyhopper (Indians had bad immigration laws)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler

I have to report you.

Nothing personal, you know.

I just want to get a head start before the quota goes into effect.

I need those Good Citizen Points so I can still be allowed to buy food.


47 posted on 04/29/2020 3:07:00 PM PDT by Grimmy (equivocation is but the first step along the road to capitulation)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler

I just checked the log.
You were touching your face for 1.20 seconds.
The threshold is 2.5 seconds, or an accumulated time of 12 or more seconds between had washings.
It is suggested that you sanitize your hands and face to “re-set the clock”.
This is especially important since it appears that your nose itches.


48 posted on 04/29/2020 3:44:19 PM PDT by Do_Tar (To my NSA handler: Just kidding.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler

Thank you Karen. Best thread ever!


49 posted on 04/29/2020 4:01:44 PM PDT by Quilla
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Quilla

Shirley, you jest.


50 posted on 04/29/2020 5:05:42 PM PDT by Jeff Chandler (BLACK LIVES MAGA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 49 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler
I had a warning label tattooed on my forehead as a reminder:

DO NOT PUT FACE NEAR MOUTH OR EYES

51 posted on 04/29/2020 5:09:09 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler
I had a warning label tattooed on my forehead as a reminder:

DO NOT PUT FACE NEAR MOUTH OR EYES

52 posted on 04/29/2020 5:09:09 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler

You can only touch your face with your elbows.


53 posted on 04/29/2020 5:15:11 PM PDT by Ben Dover
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ben Dover
I was just at the grocery store wearing my mask to protect others from any perceived danger that I carry and I inadvertently licked my finger to open one of those crazy plastic bags for veggies..

I'm dead....

54 posted on 04/29/2020 5:19:38 PM PDT by cherry
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 53 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler
Have a nice cup of chamomile tea and listen to Handel's "Water Music".

That cures everything.

55 posted on 04/29/2020 5:21:13 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Leave it to me to be holdin' the matches when the fire truck shows up & there's nobody else to blame)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Does Brahms work, too?


56 posted on 04/29/2020 5:32:51 PM PDT by Jeff Chandler (BLACK LIVES MAGA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 55 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler

Yes, but you have to switch to lavender tea with a squeeze of lemon.


57 posted on 04/29/2020 5:41:00 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Leave it to me to be holdin' the matches when the fire truck shows up & there's nobody else to blame)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 56 | View Replies]

To: Harmless Teddy Bear
lavender tea with a squeeze of lemon.

Reminds me of a Led Zepplin song.

58 posted on 04/29/2020 5:44:52 PM PDT by Jeff Chandler (BLACK LIVES MAGA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 57 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler

It’s been nice knowing you.


59 posted on 04/29/2020 7:06:05 PM PDT by SaraJohnson
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jeff Chandler

You just put all of us at risk. Think about what you’ve done mister.


60 posted on 04/29/2020 7:11:46 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-66 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson