Posted on 04/11/2020 12:44:10 AM PDT by John Semmens
Invigorated by rival Sen. Bernie Sanders exit from the race for the Democratic presidential nomination, former Vice-President Joe Biden turned his attention to the general election with a flurry of health policy initiatives that he says "will differentiate me from the failed incumbent."
"Statistics show that more men than women are dying from the coronavirus," he observed. "Yet, at the same time sex-change surgery has been classified as 'elective' rather than 'essential' medical care. One of the first actions I will take as president will be to reclassify these surgeries as 'essential.' Men should have the option to increase their chances of surviving the pandemic by becoming women. I will ensure that they have this option."
In place of what he called "the ineffectual measures Trump has taken toward this virus. I have recruited Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, the genius behind Obamacare, to head up my administration's medical task force. He has some refreshing and innovative ideas that will totally transform the way we deliver health care in this country."
One of Emanuel's "refreshing ideas" is that "no one should want to live past the age of 75. Very few have much to offer society past this age. Most are a net drain on resources. Inasmuch as the coronavirus pretty selectively kills off those older than 75, letting the disease take its course will reduce the burden of having to care for so many individuals of low social value."
Emanuel also urged that "we should relish the opportunity that the economic shutdown currently in place has given us to test out a radical restructuring of the way we live. By eliminating all nonessential production we have reduced the number of persons who have to work for a living. Only a small minority is required to operate the essential functions. The needs of the many can be met by the toil of the most able and energetic few. Labor-free leisure as a lifestyle for the vast majority is now within our grasp. That vast majority will provide the votes that make the Democratic Party the permanent ruling Party in this country."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/280703-2020-04-11-semi-news-semi-satire-april-12-2020-edition.htm
ping
Biden who?
LOL!
Creepy Joe needs a glass belly button, just to see out.
I’m sure Biden would make the finest president that George Soros’s money can buy.
Under my new rules, starting immediately, on the day after their 75th birthday, all people are required to go to the nearest hospital to be Un-Lived. Those who do not comply will be arrested by the local Un-Living Department for transporation the the nearest hospital for Un-Living.
To prevent traffic jams, those who have already passed their 75th birthday will have 6 months to make an appointment to be Un-Lived. These appointments must be within one year from today.
During the first year of Un-Living, to prevent financial hardships, all Un-Living will be performed at no cost.
Under Clause One (known as the Biden Clause) of the Un-Living Act (ULA), all government employees, all elected persons, and all individuals running for any offices are exempted from the ULA.
If today is your birthday, pack your bags so you are ready tomorrow's Un-Living. Of course, you really don't need to bring anything except yourself, ha, ha. The a little joke to relieve any anxiety. Of course, you may Un-Live yourself by any means if you choose.
So, we'll see some of your tomorrow for your ULAday! Happy ULAday to you!
So, 90% of Congresswill be gone? Does AOC become a senior Congressman?
"Under Clause One (known as the Biden Clause) of the Un-Living Act (ULA), all government employees, all elected persons, and all individuals running for any offices are exempted from the ULA."
Ammendment Number Two exempts individuals who are elected or appointed to a government position in the Executive, Judiciary, and Legislative branches.
So Ruth is ours forever. Good. I so cherish watching her kick boxing videos! And seeing Hillary do the van diving. They need to make that an Olympic sport!
OMG!!! I would definitely pay money to watch that series! Though Bernie would beat Joey, cuz Joey would forget the event. And I think Ruthie would definitely give hillbilly a run for her money, unless the event was sliding down stairs on your butt. hillbilly definitely has the butt for that event.
Logan’s Run is the new Democrat playbook...
Is this really satire though?
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