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Mayor Asks Criminals to Postpone Predatory Behavior [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 April 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/06/2020 10:37:40 AM PDT by John Semmens

Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner went on TV to try to persuade criminals "to wait until the COVID-19 pandemic eases up, before you go out to rob, rape, or murder someone. I know you have needs. I know you have scores to settle. But the risk to your own health at this time is too great. Prey on the wrong person and you could get sick and maybe die. I'm not asking you to give up your careers or stifle your passions. I'm just advising you to be patient so you can violate the law later without undue risk to yourself."

In related news, the ACLU has called for the release of all prisoners in the COVID-19 high-risk group. Spokesman Bertram Petty charged that "keeping these people confined in jails amounts to a death sentence. We also call for a moratorium on arrests for similar reasons. Putting more people behind bars during the pandemic will lead to more people coming down with the virus. This is an unacceptable violation of their human rights."

In response, California Gov. Gavin Newsom commuted the sentences of 14 murderers to "time-served" and authorized their immediate release. "We don't want these men's blood on our hands," he explained. "They were sentenced to life or lengthy prison terms, not death."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=397000.0


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: crime; democrats; prisoners; satire

1 posted on 04/06/2020 10:37:40 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

I laughed myself silly just reading the title...........


2 posted on 04/06/2020 10:44:26 AM PDT by Liz (Our side has 8 trillion bullets; the other side doesn't know which bathroom to use.)
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To: John Semmens

President Maduro of the Philippines shoots them on sight. No arrests. You loot, you die.Police do not have to risk infection at all.

Cuomo is pretty high on the wuss scale when the whole nation is under imposed self isolation, at war against pestilence.

Just sayin’ we do not have to have martial law like Maduro’s, but we need some sting against crime.


3 posted on 04/06/2020 10:46:43 AM PDT by Candor7 ((Obama Fascism)http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2009/05/barack_obam_the_quintessentia_1.html))
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To: John Semmens

“Prey on the wrong person and you could get sick and maybe die.”

From lead poisoning.


4 posted on 04/06/2020 11:08:36 AM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: Liz

Except this is not satire. My job is in Houston, but except for work Houston is a no go zone for me.


5 posted on 04/06/2020 11:09:55 AM PDT by Fred Hayek (The Democratic Party is now the operational arm of the CPUSA)
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To: Fred Hayek

Didnt know it had gotten that bad.........


6 posted on 04/06/2020 11:15:04 AM PDT by Liz (Our side has 8 trillion bullets; the other side doesn't know which bathroom to use.)
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To: John Semmens

Sylvester Turner better climb up the hill and lecture CONgre$$. : )


7 posted on 04/06/2020 11:17:44 AM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: John Semmens
"Prey on the wrong person and you could get" ...

Shot.

I wonder how the Houston voters feel now about the moron they elected. Words cannot describe how stupid this man is.

8 posted on 04/06/2020 11:21:25 AM PDT by Schatze (It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.)
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