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Candidate Lays Off Staff [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Jan 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/08/2020 9:33:38 AM PST by John Semmens

Democratic presidential contender Marianne Williamson has laid off her entire campaign staff. She will, however, continue "my efforts to win the hearts and minds of the American people in my quest to rescue this country from the negative vibes emanating from the Trump tyranny."

"Unlike traditional campaigns that require money to push forward, I will follow the advice given by J.M. Barrie and focus on thinking happy thoughts," she explained. "If thinking happy thoughts could enable the Darling children to fly to Neverland, they should be able to energize voters to vote for the kind of change I am advocating."

Williamson says she will also "be leaving my bedroom window unlatched in case Peter Pan should show up to lend me a hand in my campaign."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=387706.0


TOPICS: Books/Literature; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrat; fantasyland; satire

1 posted on 01/08/2020 9:33:38 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

She should not leave her bedroom window open.


2 posted on 01/08/2020 9:39:29 AM PST by DIRTYSECRET (urope. Why do they put up with this.)
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To: John Semmens

Who?


3 posted on 01/08/2020 9:52:16 AM PST by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: John Semmens

Non-protoplasmic staff will however remain at work


4 posted on 01/08/2020 10:19:30 AM PST by bigbob (Trust Trump. Trust the Plan.)
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To: John Semmens
Down to the last two employees, Jack and Jill.

"I'm either going to have to lay you or Jack off..."

5 posted on 01/08/2020 12:08:58 PM PST by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change with out notice.)
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To: John Semmens

Do they have to turn in their energy crystals?


6 posted on 01/08/2020 12:31:58 PM PST by dynachrome (Build the wall, deport them all. And send her back!)
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To: dynachrome

No. They can keep them in lieu of back pay owed.


7 posted on 01/08/2020 3:03:10 PM PST by John Semmens
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