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Schumer Declares: Transcript of Ukraine Call “Not Enough” [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 Sep 2019 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/28/2019 10:41:56 AM PDT by John Semmens

Convinced that President Trump would never agree to release a transcript of his July phone call with Ukraine’s President Zelensky, Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY) was forced to change course when an unredacted copy landed on his desk this week.

“This document does not contain the incriminating evidence we anticipated,” the Senator complained. “We are not assuaged. Let me remind everyone that President Trump is known to have made dozens of phone calls everyday. In order to put this one phone call in context we will need to see transcripts of all the calls he has made or received since his election. Only then will the pattern of his criminal and tyrannical abuse of office be exposed to the scrutiny of the American voters.”

Schumer rejected objections that his call for transcripts would impede future presidents’ ability to conduct confidential conversations with world leaders, saying that “my request is limited to only this president and, possibly, any future Republican president. Democratic presidents have demonstrated that they can be trusted to engage in secret conversations without endangering the country, the Constitution, or our laws. We had nothing to fear when Obama was president and will have nothing to fear when Warren, Sanders, Biden or whoever wins the office in November 2020.”

In related news, Rep. Adam Schiff claimed an “ability to read between the lines of the transcript” where he says he discovered the phrases “give him an offer he can’t refuse,” “ it was Barzini all along,” and “leave the gun, take the cannoli.” “We have a mob boss as our president,” Schiff shrieked. “We’ve got to take this guy out for the good of the country. It’s the only way to preserve our democracy.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2019/09/28/ny-mayor-takes-hard-line-on-illegal-aliens/


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: impeachment; satire; schumer; trump

1 posted on 09/28/2019 10:41:56 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

They need that video of him drowning kitties and puppies as he laughs hysterically.


2 posted on 09/28/2019 10:45:59 AM PDT by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
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To: John Semmens

And CNN will have the opportunity to schedule “impeachment” blab 110% of the time instead of a simple 24 hours a day.


3 posted on 09/28/2019 11:03:39 AM PDT by immadashell (Save Innocent Lives - ban gun free zones)
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To: John Semmens

I’d like to see someone punch that imperious hack Schumer in the beak so hard, the rest of his face gets sucked into the sinkhole.


4 posted on 09/28/2019 1:08:35 PM PDT by Viking2002
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To: John Semmens
Oh, Afternoon, John. 😁
5 posted on 09/28/2019 1:09:42 PM PDT by Viking2002
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To: SkyDancer

How much more of these losers can we take?


6 posted on 09/28/2019 2:30:41 PM PDT by Maudeen (The surest fact in all the world is not death but the return of the Lord Jesus Christ.)
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To: John Semmens

Schumer says the transcript of the call betweem Trump and the Ukraine is not enough because it does not give the democrats what they thought they were going to find. It does not serve their agenda. They want to oust Trump because he beat their patron saint Hillary Clinton. The democrats are so easy to read that only a fool would listen to what they have to say.


7 posted on 09/28/2019 4:49:15 PM PDT by maxwellsmart_agent
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