May I please post my certainly-soon-to-be-a-hit song here?

me ^ | now | me

[Chengdu54]

The song's called "I Robbed a Liquor Store (but I Feel So Sad)". My band is called EMS and it consists of my daughter and I. It's edgy satirical indie pop. Thanks for comments! https://soundcloud.com/roger-shouse-1/i-robbed-a-liquor-store

[LouieFisk]

Kinda Ramones-y thematically and with the C-Aminor-F-G progression. Fun song, great hook. Who plays what on this?

[Falconspeed]

Very talented. Thank you. Please write about ethical subjects.

[Bob434]

you got a unique sound- one of your songs sounded kinda like B-52’s rock lobster song-,didn’t care for taking God’s name in vain in the song you listed though- but the sound was fun, funky- stylistic- catchy tune-

[Star Traveler]

Always do a live link ...

https://soundcloud.com/roger-shouse-1/i-robbed-a-liquor-store

[Chengdu54]

thanks!

[Chengdu54]

thanks! It was supposed to be satirical.

[Chengdu54]

My daughter and I wrote the song. We both play some guitar. I’m doing bass and drums and lead vocal. (She sings on other songs we do.) Thanks!

[alexander_busek]

[...] and it consists of my daughter and I me.

Regards,

[Chengdu54]

Oops, thank you. I ought to know better!

[davius]

Perchance this occurred in downtown Baltimore?

[knarf]

Of course .... but do you realize a whole LOT of people will never go to church because they don't want to hear THAT shit ?

Obviously, there is a empirical connection between what you HEAR and what you ARE.

So, you put out WORDS that minimizes taking a life and exalts a completely voluntary and avoidable act ?

seek help, son.

[Chengdu54]

I respectfully disagree with you. There’s room in life for humor, satire, and sarcasm. Did you ever listen to Roger Miller’s song, “Dang Me?” Did you ever watch a funny sketch on TV involving a stick up?

I’m a song writer, poet, and musician. No one died in my song. No mention of killing.

[TalBlack]

It’s too strung out at 4+ min. A song like this should be done in 2:50. Put the track into an editor and see if you can manually cut the excess bars. For instance after the vocal intro>4 beats>verse. If doing it in an editor results in some choppy sounds use the result as a template and go back to the multimate track.

I’ve got 10 or 15 songs of my own that are the best of the God knows how many I’ve written. Some of them would have benifit ed from the above advice. Song writers can get real windy.

[b4me]

I listened through. I hear talent in music and a good voice but lack of emotion in voice, seemed monotone/just singing no feeling in what’s being sung.

The current wording seems to minimize subjects (real life situations) that are crimes. I just think there are many better subjects or ways to word that would be positive to the listener instead of just “feel so bad” or “sad” about committing armed holdup, robbery, etc.

Talented but could really be much more with a spark from God’s help for best usage of talents and inspiration for those involved in creation and those listening.

Hope you share a future song. I look forward to hearing it.

[Chengdu54]

Thanks for the comments! I actually thought of that critique, but ignored myself.

[Chengdu54]

Thanks for your kind comments.

[Fightin Whitey]

and it consists of my daughter and I

Wrong.

You and your daughter are the object of the sentence, not the subject.

Do think the following is correct?

...and it consists of I and my daughter

Hardly.

[Fester Chugabrew]

Thanks for posting this. I like to hear what other Freeper musicians have been up to.

[Bearshouse]

I like your voice, reminds me of Curtis Salgado but needs more feeling. Thanks for posting.