Posted on 07/17/2018 8:07:35 AM PDT by Oldpuppymax
A blonde heard that bathing in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.
He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can Look young and beautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes ***************************
and from Mike LaGrone:
What goes: Screech, zoom, screech, zoom, screech, zoom?
A blond going through a flashing red light.
As a Blonde in America shouldn’t I yell scream start a social net backlash. I like to laugh so go ahead.
Bump!
I worked in a DoD office with a blond secretary who knew, and avidly repeated, every single blonde joke that had ever been written. She was constantly regaling us with this knowledge.
One day, as I was discussing an office topic with her, her mother came into the office. The mother, just as blonde and vivacious as her daughter, walks straight up to her daughter, leans in as if to whisper something in her daughters ear, and then blows a puff of air into the daughters ear.
The daughter’s eyes open wide and she says, “Oh, a refill”.
To this day I do not know how I kept from laughing myself sick. I did not know how to react. They giggled like school girls and went on their merry way.
I guess we know who the blondes are on this thread!
DUhmmies like you are at DU
dumbass...
Because I didn’t think we needed immature high school humor here I should go to Democrat Underground
What in the effing eff?
Dumbass...
You were kidding, right? right? You just forgot the S/Off tag.
A little old time humor is harmless, and if you are a blond, you won't get it anyway.
Relax.
It's a fun thread. We're building the world's finest anthology of blond jokes.
A husband knew his blonde wife had always wanted a champagne bath. For her birthday, he bought 50 bottles of champagne and emptied every bottle into the tub. Leading his wife into the bathroom, he said “Happy Birthday, honey.”, and revealed his surprise. She was ecstatic. She quickly disrobbed and lowered herself into the champagne bath, giggling at the tickle of the bubbles. The husband left her to her birthday pleasure.
Two hours later the wife called to her husband and told him she was finished. She climbed out of the tub, dried off and dressed.
After she left, the husband eyed the bathtub still full of champagne and thought...”Darn shame to waste all of that champagne.”. He went to the kitchen, grabbed a cup and a funnel, returned to the bath and began scooping out the champagne and refilling the bottles. Finally, he was almost done...filling and corking the last bottle. He then realized there was a little more champagne at the bottom of the tub. He scooped up the remaining 3/4 cup and said to himself....”Nah, she wouldn’t have...”.
(Yes, I know...tremendously ancient.)
You sir are encouraged not to read this thread if it offends you. The rest of us here will enjoy said thread if we are so inclined.
A blonde walks in to a library and up to the librarian’s counter. She loudly says, “I’d like a Coke, a burger and some fries.” Confused, the librarians says to her, “Honey, you do realize this is a library, don’t you?” Shocked, the blonde looks around and then whispers back, “Sorry, I’d like a Coke, a burger and some fries.”
They still deliver milk in my neighborhood.
I quit the delivery service when they raised the minimum of amount to buy to more than I could drink in a week.
That’s funny.
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