Posted on 02/27/2018 7:43:29 PM PST by cazmandeuce
Wow, my 25 year old boy called tonight to talk about asking his girlfriend to marry him. First, I had a feeling this conversation was coming based on what I could tell from what I saw from their relationship over the last year. They have been dating for over a year now, both in their PHD program, and I can tell they are soul mates. Oh my. Second, that's my first son. Is he ready.... My little buddy is thinking about such grown up stuff. Any parents going through the same stuff? Oh, they grow up so fast.......
Someone like that makes for a great daughter-in-law.
I feel sorry for you - what a wretched bitter attitude. Not all women are like the one who hurt you so badly, and many marriages are truly happy for both the husband and wife.
Tell him to make a romantic proposal - something surprising, well organized and memorable. It seems important to the millennials I know, and his wife will always remember it.
I was poor, young and stupid when I proposed. My wife doesn’t mind, but its my only regret in our long marriage.
“Sometimes, statistics are just wrong.”
I heard that 82% of statistics are made up right on the spot.
In my adult life, I have never shied away from truth or reality because it happens to be unpleasant.
Now ask me if I wish the current state of affairs was different.
I’m in that zone that it’s a pretty bad idea for men. But with one big caveat. There seems to be some kids in this generation that saw the misery their moms caused with reckless divorcing and career before family thinking. These kids also tend to be the more religious ones.
In a sense, they are rebuilding the model of marriage from long ago. I’ve seen a handful of these that are doing better than anything i saw among people in the last 4 decades.
So yeah, it’s a bad deal for any guy over 40 for sure. But a few of these kids might be the seed that saves traditional America.
Why should she have minded? She wasn’t rich, old and a genius, you didn’t put those demands on her in order to marry her.
You are right about that. The kids I refer to are indeed more religious. As mentioned, they are more romantic with each other, seem more committed - and these women are definitely more "feminine." I also agree that some seen feminism at its worst, and don't buy it.
It won’t change the family courts making 60 billion a year from divorce, and it won’t change the massive bias men face in family court, when wife decides to divorce him. Women initiate 70-80% of the divorces because they know they are not the ones savaged by it, and there is no change in this trend. Young people today sleep around more than ever before mariage and studies show the more a woman sleeps around before marriage the more likely se is to divorce, much more so than with a man with multiple partners before marriage. So I doubt this is going to be a reversible trend. It would reqire a draconian fundamental reversal in the culture, and there’s no indication of that happening.
Another question to consider: are YOU ready for your son to be tied to his wife’s family?
Our son used to include us in information about his life. Now, not much at all. My DIL is, naturally, more comfortable with her mother, and my son spends his spare time, properly, with his family. Somehow, though, my husband and I got pushed out.
I was prepared to welcome a daughter-in-law. I wasn’t prepared to lose my son. I also understand this is often the case with sons.
I happen to care very much about divorces being fair to all parties. I have 2 son’s. My oldest, 17, is MGTOW with my full support. He plans to be an attorney. I’ve already talked to him about prenuptial agreements. I am considering starting a movement, Mothers of Men, to fight the social justice loons on campus and to advocate for men’s rights in divorce and custody battles once I can leave the workforce. Don’t count all women out.
You would be well advised to know prenups are worth less than the paper they are written on. Any judge can throw out a prenup for any number of reasos, including the woman saying she did not understand what she agreed to, to her claiming she was coerced into signing it.
And no one including you has given me one upside for men getting married right now. Note I am not saying never have relationships, I am saying no man should get married as there is no upside for him to do so.
If he is mgtow, talkig to him about prenups is moot because he should not even be thinking about getting married.
And to be honest your concern about divorces being fair does nothing to change the fact that the family court system is incredibly unfair towards men in divorce proceedings. And that knowing this truth if you truly care for your spns the best advice you can give them formtheir best possible future and happiness is to avoid getting married.
I’m with you.
THIS THREAD IS AWESOME!! \O/
lol’s
Best quote of the day!! I am fortunate enough to have the worlds best grand daughter!!
Sounds exactly like the speech I got from my Father-In-Law to be. Our marriage has lasted fifty six years.
Marriage is great... i would do it again if i had to.
mind you, with a whole different woman, but i’d do it again.
Took my oldest (She'll be eight in May.) to the Metropolitan Opera twice this month. She loves it and I love taking her.
ML/NJ
I will add that one of the best gifts in life is GRANDPARENTS!
My parents split up when I was 2. Thanks to their parents I had some stability in spite of the chaos of divorce-remarriage effects through years. They were always stable and loving. One of the reasons I love older people since young. I feel relaxed around them. Maybe why I have an “old mind”.
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