Posted on 08/31/2017 9:05:39 AM PDT by Oldpuppymax
On the first day, He sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and Suitcases.
On the second day, He had the movers come and collect his things.
On the third day, He sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by Candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound Of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of wine.
When he'd Finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten Shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain Rods.
He then cleaned up The kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, The wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was Bliss.
Then, slowly, the House began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and Airing-out the place Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned
Air fresheners Were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas Canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.. Nothing Worked!
People stopped Coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid Quit.
Finally, they Couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a Month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't Find a buyer for such a stinky house. Word got out, and Eventually even the local realtors refused to return their Calls.
Finally, unable to Wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from The bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex called The woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the Rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home Terribly and would bewilling to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange For having the house. Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell Really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10 th of what the house Had been worth ...
But only if he would sign the papers that very Day.
He agreed, and Within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed Paperwork.
A week later the Woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ...... And to spite the Ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods!
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
That’s hilarious!!!!!!
LOVE IT!!!
Thanks for the chuckle. O’Henry got nothing on you.
LOL Good for him. Smart, too. (even though it is just a feel good story)
Ha!
Now that made my day. Thanks!!!!!
Awesome-thanks for the smile!
Interesting Use of random Capitalization.
The measurement of a story’s goodness is the number of seconds before forwarding. THis one went out in < 10, so a really good one!
LOL!!
or put them behind the electrical outlets....
This brought to mind the “Everybody Loves Raymond” episode about the suitcase full of cheese.
Wow!
I’ve heard horror stories about laborers putting food and trash in the walls of houses being built after they got mad at the owners of the homes being built. But this takes that tactic to an entirely new level.
Really loved the ending. Too sweet.
A serviceman for a company that made a very expensive machine where I used to work came to service the machine. He had to fly in from Atlanta. He was really an independent contractor for the company that did the service calls.
He worked all over the southeast, and had to rent cars a lot to get to the job sites, so he was a gold-card customer to the rental companies.
He came to our place and had rented a Caddy, as was his usual deal.
After the job was finished he decided to drive to the next job instead of flying back to Atlanta first.
He then had to drop off the car at a different office than where he rented it. They charged him a huge drop-off fee that they weren’t supposed to because of his gold card status being a frequent customer.
He could not get the fee dropped or reimbursed.
Six months later he came to service our machine again.
Again he rented a Caddy and did his work. It was summer and he enjoyed fishing, so he bought some tackle and shrimp for bait and had a good day fishing the beautiful Gulf of Mexico.
He caught some good fish, but forgot to take them and the leftover shrimp home with him when he left the car at the airport.
It was a hot summer day and the car wasn’t checked over for a couple of days until a really putrid smell was discovered to be emanating from it.........................
Nice.
L
I don’t know if you’ve ever smelled rotting shrimp, but it is the most putrid, horrible smell you can think of. Gag a maggot stench!.......................
When I was very young my grandfather took us to the beach in Florida. He drove us in his brand new Cadillac. I spent the day collecting horse shoe crabs. I wanted to take some home so when he wasn’t looking I put them in the trunk.
I promptly forgot all about them. They sat in his trunk for two days.
Grandpa was not pleased at all.
L
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.