Posted on 02/06/2014 7:28:51 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet
1. Coming to the door to pick someone up.
I think we’ve all had it with the incredibly unromantic “here” text, and meeting up always seems to be more casual and platonic than the alternative. Of course, meeting someone from online or any circumstance like that would probably be the exception to this rule, but generally: the 30 seconds it takes to get out of a car or cab and knock on the door makes a huge difference.
2. Trying to dress really nicely for a date.
“Nicely” means different things for different people, so I think it’s just a matter of putting effort into how you put yourself together to go out with someone. It’s not about wearing suits and petticoats again, but just realizing that, whether or not we like to accept it, appearance does count for something, and we should do our best to make sure that our appearance says something about us, in whatever way we’d like it to.
3. Bringing flowers or other tokens of affection to the first date.
Now, many lucky ladies (and some men) I know get this regularly, and in fact, I have myself as well, but only ever with people I’d been dating for a while. I think there’s something to be said for bringing flowers to the door on your first date. It’s become uncool because it’s forward and it’s a gesture that confirms their interest, but we should definitely get past that idea and worry more about how we’re going to let someone know we really do care and appreciate that they want to spend time with us.
4. Going dancing that’s not grinding on a grimy club floor.
Whatever happened to this? Dancing for the sake of dancing, like fun, not essentially sex on a dance floor dancing. What’s a better way to literally shake off nerves than seeing them bust a really dorky move on a dance floor? And the art of slow dancing has generally been lost, though I’ve been one to do it in my living room with my slightly coerced significant other, and I’ll tell you he’s said on numerous occasions it ended up being one of the most romantic nights we had together.
5. Straightforwardly asking someone out and not calling it “hanging out.”
Or, as is very popular these days, “talking.” “Oh, we’re just… talking.” As in, seeing one another and speaking frequently as to get to know each other? So… dating? We’ve found these really convenient ways to skirt around the issue of having to put our hearts on the line, but honestly, it just ends up being messy and confusing for all parties involved. There’s no need to go back to the idea of courting or anything, unless you want to, but simply being direct about whether or not you’d like to go on a date with someone is a truly lost art, one that really shouldn’t be.
6. Additionally, being clear about when you’re “going steady.”
Oh, the awkward, “so… are we… you know… what are we?” talk. Classic. We should go back to asking one another if the other person would like to “go steady” or something. There’s something about asking them if they’d like to rather than assuming that you are or aren’t anything that’s just very cute, in my opinion.
7. Romantic gestures like writing poems.
Writing poems may not be for you, I know mine would look something like “Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate poetry but I love you.” I literally just made that up thank you please quote me when you inevitably post that gem on Tumblr. But seriously, like a handwritten letter in the mail or just surprising them with something you made even if it looks like the macaroni necklace you made when you were 5 is cute just because you tried and were thinking of them.
8. Turning electronics off and just being with one another.
I’m not sure there is anything worse than the person who picks up their phone and starts staring at it in the middle of dinner, or at any point while you’re together and having a conversation. I’m not anti-technology here (hello, I work for the Internet) but I am saying that there comes a time to turn it off and disconnect and remember what actually matters. People.
9. The general concept of asking permission for things.
It used to be principle for people to say: oh, when can I see you? Or, when could I call you? Rather than just assuming they can at any point. But I think that old concept could be applied to our modern world by just assuming that, unless told otherwise, you should ask permission to you know, touch them anywhere, take them out, call them at a certain time, etc. Once you’re in a relationship these things usually don’t require asking anymore, but some do, especially when it comes to sexuality. I once knew a person who said that they asked permission before so much as touching a girl’s thigh, and that always stuck with me.
10. Not assuming sex is to be had at any point in time.
Now, I’m certainly not saying it should go back to being a taboo that’s unspoken of, but we certainly shouldn’t expect it from someone on the third date, on the first date, because they’re being flirty, because you know they’re into you, or even because they agreed to go out with you. A date does not have to be a precursor to sex, and you shouldn’t be disappointed if it isn’t because you should never assume that it will be. It depends on the person you’re with and what they want to do. TC Mark
This, I take as yet another sign, that women are finding out that the world they created with feminism isn’t exactly what they wanted.
Well, too bad, so sad. Women created this situation. They broke it, they bought it, they own it.
When I do these very things, because I have a very traditional way of going about courting, I am treated with what can only be described as suspicion.
The way modern women treat men... like they are the buffoonish men they see on their television set, is a result of culture rot and feminism... It sucks.
The grandchildern vary in age from 1-21 and so they defy being lumped together under one adjective. But, we love them all.
I’m the ‘girl’. No, he didn’t bring me flowers.
As an unmarried bachelor with a good business this advice is bunk. Whoever wrote this has never dealt with an unmarried American woman in the dating realm. I would elaborate but I most certainly would be banned from FR.
And that goes double for not being able to elaborate.
“As an unmarried bachelor with a good business this advice is bunk.”
Yep, a set up for failure if I ever saw one!
The nicer I was to girls I really liked the quicker they lost interest. Playing hard to get is not just good advice for women.
Fifty years ago, dating actually meant items 1 through 9 on that list.
&&&
Indeed it did. And widespread depression among the young was unheard of.
I also found that being seen cleaning a firearm when the young man arrives for the first date can be a marvelous conversation starter. (a) It clears the air regarding my intent to defend my family in all possible contingencies, and (b) it lets both my daughter and me know if this young man is worth the trouble of a second date (i.e., a litmus test on political leanings).
I open the car door for my wife of 25+ years, as well. Far from annoying her, she expects it and becomes bothered when I don’t (unless, of course, I’m carrying bags of groceries or something similar).
More than once, after witnessing this, her married friends have asked her how she “taught” me to do it (not to mention the comments from strangers about where she found me). Fact is, I did on our first date and it was one of the things that persuaded her that a second date with me was worthwhile.
Both of our twenty-something sons also do this on dates and never cease to be amazed by the positive response from the young women they are with.
Our first date 31 years ago was to see a movie. I fell asleep right after it started. lol I was working 2 jobs at the time. 7 months later we were married.
Hubby still opens my car door (ok, all doors) for me. And I still thank him every time, too. When our girls were home, he opened their car doors, too. He'd make a circle around the car, opening all our doors. True southern gentleman.
You and I have similar thoughts. The first time I met my daughter's first boyfriend, I showed him some of my groupings. Later she told me I'd scared him. I told her I wasn't seeing any down side to that.
I think the sometime annoyance comes with crowded parking and my sometimes lagging behind... I do it for most all ladies though my girls are usually too quick for me.
I always take flowers or something on a first date.
The sexualization of children has run unabated for sixty years. All they’ve been taught is item #10.
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