Posted on 05/17/2013 3:07:30 PM PDT by SatinDoll
My nephew and his squeeze are talking marriage. They've been childhood sweethearts since 6th grade - they're now both 21. He wants a 'prenup', a prenuptial agreement, and she's never heard of such a thing. Should they have one?
Some background: they are each others best friend and confidant. When he left his grandfather's house after high school graduation to be more independent and encountered roughened circumstances, she supported him while she worked at WalMart, and together they became partners in a business that failed. Nephew moved back home while she went to school. But that's not all - her mother has been supporting her while she went to community college but Mom's work hours have been reduced and my nephew, who now has a good paying job, will be supporting his girlfriend. There is a lot of history in this relationship
So they're discussing getting married.
My nephew's now happily-married half-brother has an ex-wife, and told his baby half-brother to never marry without first getting a 'prenup'.
He asked me, his spinster Auntie with 6 cats, what he should do. Yeah, right! My first instinct would be to avoid commitment and get another cat, but that wouldn't suffice.
I am requesting the help of the world's most extensive and collective group of knowledge on earth, Free Republic, as I have no experience in the area of marriage. Many Freepers do have a great deal of experience with marriage/divorce.
Any practical advice? I know I'll see lots of puns and jokes, not to mention opinions, but useful advice would be greatly appreciated.
“If they build a life together and have children, she should get half of the financial benefits if they split up down the road”
If she FILES, she should leave with nothing. WHoever makes the decision to leave deserves nothing.
If he is like 99% of America, there is a 50/50 chance he will get divorced, and 3/4 of the time, the woman files.
but lets be charitable and say 33% of first marriages fail.
If you were going to walk into a door, and you knew there was a 1 in 3 chance you would be shot in the chest, would you want a bulletproof vest?
LOL
Good list - although two pounds gained every year is a lot. In twenty years that’s forty pounds - quite a bit for a small boned person.
Imagine having to get in writing that the person you’re going to spend your life with won’t make your life miserable.
They should make an agreement about what each of them brought into the marriage, and agree to what each will take with them should they decide to separate.
If the couple involved are sure a break up will never happen, they could celebrate by burning the forms on their 50th wedding anniversary.
Otherwise, he risks losing everything. And I mean Everything. No man should take that risk.
I like that idea! Especially since the law itself often doesn't take into account one spouse cheating on the other.
We? Define "We".
What indications have you of this assertion?
Show that evidence, provide a link at least.
some kind of homo of something...
Really? Post some kind of evidence. A single link.
Any bit of indication in that direction. Just one.
No? Got nothing?
I submit that you are full of crap and deserving of NO credibility.
Suck on THAT like a popsicle in the summertime.
Bitch.
“we already know you hate women and are some kind of homo of something...”
Flak,,Target. So did you file on some poor guy and loot him? You seem to think a woman should jealously guard the right to half of everything, even if she decides to file.
And then when a man expresses that he will not expose himself to unreasonable risk as some sort of weird kibuki dance of trust, you call him a homo?
Typical feminut response.
Flights to Moscow can be had for less than a 1000 bucks, thank the Lord almighty for Aeroflot.
Bump!
Suppose she files because her husband is cheating?
I also note that you fail to understand the use of capitalization in your posts.
http://www.freerepublic.com/tag/by:cherry/index?tab=comments;brevity=full;options=no-change
I reckon you must be some kind of illiterate retard.
So where are you, backing up your assertions?
Full of crap eh? Making up BS are you? Got NOTHING have you?
Look, sweetiecakes.. you better have some ammo you want to jack with me.
So let’s see it. Put up or shut up.
And make me a sandwich.
"Darling I trust you completely, I love you with all my heart, but my family insists we get a pre-nup. I don't think we need one, and I'm sure you don't either, but my evil Cat-Lady Auntie and the rest of my family swear they will disown me if we don't. As much as I love you and as full as my heart feels when you are near, there would be a an ache, a void in my heart that only my family of origin can fill. (Besides it might be a good thing to not get written out of their wills) Let's just do this and get it out of the way and preserve peace in the family..."
A trust breaker?
At the instant of marriage, the entire legal system swings over and stands behind the female. The child support, the alimony, the splitting of property, the domestic violence industry, etc.
The woman risks nearly nothing legally. The fact that he is willing to MARRY her is an enormous demonstration of trust. He is putting his head on an legal chopping block, and handing her an axe.
Is it so difficult for a woman to honor that clear demonstration with HER own small serving of risk? That if she files for divorce, she gets nothing?
Prenups are a game for the wealthy. For normal folks, they are a scheme to make lawyers well to do. For a Catholic, I would think a prenup would be a very bad idea.
Any comments from the Catholic Caucus?
“Making preparations for failure almost always increase the chances of failure.”
50%
Lifejackets, spare tires, ejection seats, fire extinguishers, the pistol in the drawer, circuit breakers, emergency exits, exercise, etc etc.
You couldn’t be more wrong. But let’s take your own position for a moment. If preparing for failure is so wrong, and only increases the chance of failure, then why would a woman accept easy access to the money in the event of divorce?
She should approach HIM with a document swearing she only gets the clothes on her back if there is a divorce. “Honey, i want you to know, i choose to stand naked before the chill legal winds, with your love as my only hope of salvation from a fate of poverty. I foreswear any preparation for failure”.
“although two pounds gained every year is a lot. In twenty years that’s forty pounds - quite a bit for a small boned person”
Well shoot, i did the math. And sappy romantic that i am, i even calculated 40 years out! If she made it that far, i think the love might kick in. I was trying to be reasonable!
And you get massive good humor points for laughing at my list. Liked yours too! Maybe i won’t have to learn another language to fall in love.
WHERE ARE YOU backing up this insane statement?
Are you out turning tricks on MLK boulevard?
You are obviously unhappy, or at least unhappy relationally, and I am sorry for you. The bitterness is oozing out of your posts. Your misogyny is obvious for all to see.
As for your straw bullsh-t argument - being careful and “preparing for failure” are hardly the same things. Your one sided pathetic argument ignores the fact that they are both entering this thing more or less on equal terms, and that she supported him for an extended period of time.
Now, go write out your alimony check.
I believe that if one marries, one marries for real. For real good and real bad. For ever. Prenups are for those who are intending to hedge their bet.
I agree. I just cannot imagine a “Catholic” prenup.
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