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City Defends Hiring Non-Swimming Minorities as Lifeguards
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Apr 2013 | John Semmens

Posted on 04/05/2013 7:05:29 PM PDT by John Semmens

While taking some flak for doing so, City of Phoenix officials are standing by their decision to accept non-swimming minorities as pool lifeguards.

“The problem with requiring swimming proficiency as a condition of employment is that minorities would be under-represented among those we hire,” City Parks and Recreation Administrator Alfredo Zote observed. “The Mayor has asked us to strive for a workforce that mirrors the composition of the City’s population. We can’t do that if we impose qualifications that have a disproportionate impact on any racial or ethnic groups.”

As to whether the ability to swim might not be a crucial skill in the performance of the job, Zote demurred. “Few of the annual drownings that occur in our state are at public pools,” he pointed out. “And we can team the non-swimming minority hire with a strong-swimming white hiree. That way the non-swimmer can help spot a potential drowning victim and direct the swimmer to rescue him.”

While Zote acknowledged that he had no idea on whether the new policy would have any negative consequences for the safety of visitors to any of the City’s 23 public pools he did ask that “critics balance any undesired outcomes at the pools with the social gains of our minority hiring policy. Providing employment for disfavored groups is not without its benefits. Whether their gains in self-esteem outweigh losses in terms of injury or fatalities at our sites is, in my opinion, a judgment call.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2013/04/05/administration-touts-obamacare-as-jobs-engine/


TOPICS: Government; Health/Medicine; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: affirmativeaction; minorities; safety; satire
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To: John Semmens
Another excellent response to the blatant ignorance of the left, John

City Officials are only following the example provided by the President of the United States as further evidence qualifications and substance are less important than feelings and ideology.

The safety and quality of life is less of a concern than the perception of oversight. see obamacare

As always, enjoy your work. Keep up the fight.

41 posted on 04/05/2013 9:44:21 PM PDT by saywhatagain
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To: John Semmens

Non swimmers can hold their breath longer, said one official as he pointed to a lifeguard who had been floating face down for over half an hour.


42 posted on 04/05/2013 9:47:42 PM PDT by count-your-change (you don't have to be brilliant, not being stupid is enough)
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To: John Semmens

Hahha!

Life Guards - Check
President - Check
Brain Surgeon - Check
etc.
etc.
etc.


43 posted on 04/05/2013 9:56:10 PM PDT by METARZAN
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To: aquila48
Don’t be the first to throw stones if you live in a glass house.

Got anything better than worn cliches and personal insults, and links to articles that everyone's already read, along with explanations what they mean? Pitiful.

44 posted on 04/05/2013 9:56:46 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: Revolting cat!

“Got anything better than worn cliches and personal insults”

That would be my question to you, Idiot. You started the insults - remember? You could use some manners - but at least you picked an accurate tag - you are Revolting.


45 posted on 04/05/2013 10:24:00 PM PDT by aquila48
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To: John Semmens

GREAT Satire, JS.

Now a story of reality...

During WWII, my father-in-law volunteered for submarine duty. All candidates were required to take a swimming test. My F-I-L never learned to swim, so he had a buddy take the test for him.

He served in Submarine Service for his enlistment.

SALUTE to my FIL.


46 posted on 04/05/2013 10:39:54 PM PDT by Diver Dave (Because He Lives, I Can Face Tomorrow)
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To: John Semmens
Darn it! You got me! I made it clear to the end before i realized. It’s just too hard to know it’s satire with all the idiots in charge anymore because I read worse that is not satire.
47 posted on 04/05/2013 11:03:53 PM PDT by Colorado Doug (Now I know how the Indians felt to be sold out for a few beads and trinkets)
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To: jazusamo
"The kids in the pool are all either Hispanic or black or whatever"

"Whatever"?

Uh, Ms. Martinez just WHO are you are referring to as "whatever"?

Scratch a liberal and there's a racist right under the skin.

I guess there are 3 kinds of people in this world. Hispanic, black and "whatever".

Guess I'm one of those "whatever" people.

48 posted on 04/05/2013 11:26:16 PM PDT by boop ("You don't look so bad, here's another")
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To: John Semmens
As long as they hire the right minorities, who cares if they can't swim?


49 posted on 04/06/2013 6:19:10 AM PDT by Malone LaVeigh
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To: sickoflibs; John Semmens

Stranger things have happened, and I expect there will be more.

The US forest service requires MORE latino hire ons, at least they did a few years ago, and they just came right out and said it.

For an illegal alien to qualify for SSI, he/she is a shoe in to get it because not being able to speak English is considered a disability.


50 posted on 04/06/2013 6:22:44 AM PDT by AuntB (Illegal immigration is simply more "share the wealth" socialism and a CRIME not a race!)
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To: John Semmens

What better person to attempt to rescue another non-swimmer. In the age of equality, you don’t need any qualifications to get a job as a lifeguard.


51 posted on 04/06/2013 6:56:17 AM PDT by mohresearcher
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To: John Semmens

bump


52 posted on 04/06/2013 8:10:48 AM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: John Semmens

LOL!


53 posted on 04/06/2013 8:15:00 AM PDT by AuH2ORepublican (If a politician won't protect innocent babies, what makes you think that he'll defend your rights?)
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To: sickoflibs
”While taking some flak for doing so, City of Phoenix officials are standing by their decision to accept non-swimming minorities as pool lifeguards. “The problem with requiring swimming proficiency as a condition of employment is that minorities would be under-represented among those we hire,” City Parks and Recreation Administrator Alfredo Zote observed. “The Mayor has asked us to strive for a workforce that mirrors the composition of the City’s population. We can’t do that if we impose qualifications that have a disproportionate impact on any racial or ethnic groups.”

I'm speechless sick... I suspect this national hysteria is getting toward the end... When 'officials' are being this stupid in order to discover discrimination - when it gets this frantic - the scam's about over...

Yes, we all oppose real discrimination. ( I was active in the civil rights movement in the 60's when it mattered - and was very real ) But this? This isn't based on discrimination it's based on 'can my outrage about perceived racism trump yours?" Am I a more 'guilty white' than you are? Can I hate myself more? Hand me the whip I'll use it on my back. Really, liberals would be considered sick if they weren't already so creepy.

And yeah, when real discrimination was happening in this country years ago this type of official was happily part of the 'in' group ( the racists) of his time - just like he's happily part of the 'in' group (liberal guilty white masochists) now... His type stands with whatever thug group has the power at the moment. Low class wannabee..

54 posted on 04/06/2013 8:54:32 AM PDT by GOPJ (New AP term for Illegal Aliens IS Undocumented Democrats.... Jay Leno)
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To: boop

Yes, that blew me away too, it’s something immature teens say.


55 posted on 04/06/2013 9:10:35 AM PDT by jazusamo ("Mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent." -- Adam Smith)
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To: John Semmens

Ya Just Can’t Make This Stuff Up!!


56 posted on 04/06/2013 9:42:28 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: John Semmens

I heard the original story on the radio Friday. Should have known you would run with it.

Thanks again for the ping.


57 posted on 04/06/2013 4:42:30 PM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: TChad

“Public pools are largely used by Latino and African-American kids, but most of the lifeguards are white and this creates a huge problem. “

Darwin Awards by proxy.


58 posted on 04/06/2013 9:34:47 PM PDT by dagogo redux (A whiff of primitive spirits in the air, harbingers of an impending descent into the feral.)
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To: dagogo redux
Darwin Awards by proxy.

That's pretty good, but I think a Darwin Award has to be earned by the person who receives it. It's not like a Nobel Prize.

59 posted on 04/06/2013 10:25:02 PM PDT by TChad (Call them Oppressives, not Progressives.)
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To: John Semmens
I just read this story in other news. Is this world getting crazy or what???

All I can say is this. If I am drowning..somebody please help me. I don't care about your ethnicity. You can be from Mars for all I care..as long as you can swim. I don't care what language you speak. I don't really think we will be having a conversation if I am drowning.

60 posted on 04/06/2013 10:38:09 PM PDT by berdie
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