President Vows to “Hammer Away at Key Issue of Campaign”

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 1 Sep 2012 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

President Obama renewed his assault on what he contends is the key issue of this campaign: transparency.

“People need to know who they’re voting for, a candidate’s life shouldn’t be a mystery,” the president said. “For months, Governor Romney has been ducking the question of how much he’s paid in taxes the last decade. How can he expect voters to elect him when he’s withholding information vital to their decision?”

“If you want to be president of the United States your life needs to be an open book,” Obama continued. “Crucial chapters shouldn’t be hidden from view. Attempts to divert voters’ attention from these matters by raising issues tangential to this core information should serve as a ‘red flag’ warning that the truth might be too ugly for general consumption.”

The president sought to contrast the “secrecy” of the Romney campaign with his own “full disclosure.” “My tax records are open for voters’ inspection,” Obama boasted. “I challenge my opponent to do the same.”

At the same time, President Obama rebuffed questions relating to his college transcripts, multiple Social Security numbers, and Selective Service records saying “not only is this information irrelevant to the decision facing voters, but it would be illegal to release records that have been sealed by a presidential order.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2012/09/01/marijuanas-effects-on-presidents-iq-contested/

[wastedyears]

LOL John you nail irony.

[dayglored]

Good one! Funny thing is, I fully believe Obummer would come out with something like this, and his devotees would lap it up!

[marron]

Zing!!

Thats funny.

[dfwgator]

[Delhi Rebels]

Start with the keywords. That may help.

That does indeed.

[Mark]

I wonder if this idiot can “do THAT to himself”?—Make my day.

[GeronL]

hilarious

[Seaplaner]

Writing for the Court, David Tatel pointed out that “the photo requirement is a heavier burden for both Blacks and Hispanics. Blacks are disproportionately in trouble with law enforcement authorities. Forcing them to identify themselves at the polls could increase the chances they could be arrested on outstanding warrants. Many Hispanics, on the other hand, are in the country illegally. Forcing them to identify themselves exposes them to the risk of deportation. It is obvious that the Texas voter ID burdens inflicted on these minority groups exceed those imposed on whites. The law is unequal in its effects and, therefore, invalid.”

LOL (You were kidding on this one, right John?)

Another fine column!

[berdie]

“Congress being upset that someone lied to them”

Hey! All you lying baseball players. Get up there and tell the truth and quit lying to us...RIGHT NOW. :)

[berdie]

On the mark...as always.

Thanks for the ping.

[Tainan]

These "Beer Summits" were a good idea.

And look where they went....no where!.

The guy is a failure.

[houeto]

Hey Reb, I had John put me on his ping list because I got sick and tired of being sucked in by his Satire!

He is that good.

[TChad]

“People need to know who they’re voting for, a candidate’s life shouldn’t be a mystery,” the president said.

Usually John's "quotes" consist of what the person "quoted" would say if he was being honest: Kinsley gaffes. This time, John is in effect predicting a likely future Obama quote. The left's accusations are often confessions of what they themselves are doing.

[SuziQ]

President Obama renewed his assault on what he contends is the key issue of this campaign: transparency.

ROTFL!! Excellent, John!

[fatnotlazy]

Brilliant again, John. Thank you for the ping.