DUmmie FUnnies 06-26-12 ("I Guess I Am A Communist But I Am Proud Of It")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 26, 2012 | DUmmie TheMastersNemesis, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

[Charles Henrickson]

Diogenes, you can call off your search now! We have found an honest DUmmie! It is none other than DUmmie TheMastersNemesis, who ADMITS that he is a Communist. It's here in this THREAD, "I Guess I Am A Communist But I Am Proud Of It."

And I will admit that our DUFU today is merely the Commie before the storm. The storm is on its way. Like a Florida coastal town boarding up windows before the hurricane hits, so DUmmieland is doing right now, bracing itself for Hurricane SCOTUS, which is due to make landfall sometime on Thursday. But PJ or I will get to that later, hopefully tomorrow.

So for now let us explore DUmmie TheMastersNemesis's Communist Manic-fiasco, Das Krapital. The remarx are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

I Guess I Am A Communist But I Am Proud Of It

[DUmmie TheMastersNemesis is out and proud!]

Because I believe in economic and social justice, a Second Economic Bill Of Rights as well as Equal Rights For Women, & Marriage Equality. . . .

[Because I believe in massive forced redistribution of wealth, punishing rich white guys, as well as killing babies for convenience and pretending that sodomites are "married". . . .]

I am a communist.

[I am an average DUmmie. But at least I'm not afraid to say the "C" word.]

The GOP says so. I am guilty.

[Oh, so maybe you are NOT so honest, TheMasterNimblenesss! I see what you did there! You don't really mean that you are a Communist. You think you're just being a good American, and that the Rethuglicans would therefore CALL you a Communist. Got it.]

I believe in an economic bill of rights where a person has a right to the following.

[Speak, TheMasterNimrodness!]

1. A right to a job.

[You mean I might have to . . . uhh . . . WORK??]

2. A right to a decent wage and a decent living (living wage).

[How much? $40,000 a year? No, not decent enough. Make it $80--no, $100,000 a year! Yeah, that sounds good! Hey, it's my right!]

3. A right decent home.

[Well, look, Mabel! We got us a right decent home! It's even got a cee-ment pond in the back! Hoo-eee!!]

4. A right to adequate medical care.

[I guess you don't want that socialized medicine they've got in Britain, then. Did you ever get a load of their teeth over there? Yikes!]

5. A right to economic protection during sickness, accident, old age or unemployment.

[Family, friends, neighborhood, church, co-workers, private charities--forget it! ONLY the federal government, Big Nanny, can take care of me! WAAAAHHH!! I'm a big baby! Watch me cwy and thuck my widdle thumb!!]

6. A right to a good education (public).

[How about a BETTER education (private)? And how about not having to pay twice if you choose to send your kid to a better school than the liberal brainwashing they would get at a government school?]

7. A right to pursue a business without fear of intimidation or unfair competition.

[How about Big Government not STRANGLING business with excessive regulations and taxes?]

[BTW, TheMasterNumskullness, we ALREADY have a right to these things. It's called the "pursuit of happiness." We have a RIGHT to PURSUE these things. But I think your mistake is in confusing a "right" with a "guaranteed outcome," i.e., that we are entitled to get everything we want, and if we don't have it, the federal government should give it to us, at other people's expense! The Left does not understand "right."]

The GOP does not believe in any of these things.

[No rights for you!]

They believe in starving women and children, putting women in their place, controlled speech. Rape, pillage and plunder of workers is ok for employers. They believe that men control women's bodies.

["Starving women and children" = Preferring voluntary charity over forced socialism. "Raping workers" = Not wanting Big Labor to price businesses out of business. "Men controlling women's bodies" = Being morally opposed to killing babies. Thank you. I should put out one of those Rosetta Stone language thingies, teaching people Leftanese.]

And they believe in theocracy.

[TheMasterNuttiness proves once again my thesis that the #1 factor driving the DUmmies is their absolute HATRED of Christianity.]

Death to the GOP.

[Thank you, TheMastersNemesis. Now let's hear from your fellow travelers . . .]

Sounds like the basic socialist philosophy I learned from my grandfather. . . .

[Is that you, Barack Obama?]

They don't use words like "communist" or "socialist" to actually mean anything. Those are just snarl words. . . .

["Nut." That's just a squirrel word, and I do mean you!]

Just go after them for being whiny brats who want public goods without paying for them.

[File this one under "Projection."]

I can usually get them to shut up by saying that I love my communist fire department. All urban fire departments are Marxist.

[Let's see. . . . Local government vs. federal government. Legitimate government service vs. forced redistribution of wealth. OK, that was quick. Is that how you get them to shut up so fast?]

'Everyone else' IS NOT a Communist. If they were, America would be a hell of a lot better place for 'everyone else' to live.

[Why, we'd be like that Workers' Paradise called Cuba! Or idyllic North Korea! Oh, if only!]

Right On

[Power to the People!]

The people of the Soviet Union and China did not have: 1. A right to a job. . . .

Actually, they DID have a "right" to a job in that they were assigned one and were forbidden to refuse it. . . .

[So what you guys are implying is that . . . . the Bolshevik Red is not all that rosy?? What are you, some kind of LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS???]

you have nothing to lose but your chains, comrade...

[And then DUmmie KG plays a recording of The Internationale! Hee! Hee! A DUmmie with a sense of humor!]

How would you make your utopia happen? I put you in charge today. Make it work. Oh yeah, and make those who don't want to do anything and can work, work also. I mean, you will have jobs for every able bodied person, so everyone should be motivated to work, right?

[DUmmie Puzzledtraveller, I see where you are going with this. So I'm going to flip all the cards over, panel, and award today's Kewpie Doll to our guest. Congratulations, Puzzledtraveller!]

[Now please continue . . .]

Being a caseworker has opened my eyes to some truths. Half of my clients legitmately and rightly receive their benefits. Most are able bodied men and women, who even when offered employment, because we have employment services here, turn it down. BUT! they all have the latest Iphone, and the women have the best looking nails I have ever seen.

[You nailed it!]

Forget the labels communist, or even socialist.

[Let's just go with "Democrat."]

[Charles Henrickson]

BTW, you will remember DUmmie TheMastersNemesis from our DUFU of June 15, "I Will Not Aid a Republican."

[Lurker]

In

[freedumb2003]

IBTP?

[Charles Henrickson]

PING!

[cripplecreek]

Just a few planks of the nazi party for the DUmmies to ponder.

The following planks of the National Socialist (Nazi) Party of Germany, adopted in Munich on February 24, 1920:

We ask that the government undertake the obligation above all of providing citizens with adequate opportunity for employment and earning a living.

The activities of the individual must not be allowed to clash with the interests of the community, but must take place within its confines and be for the good of all.

Therefore, we demand:

an end to the power of the financial interests .

We demand profit sharing in big business.

We demand a broad extension of care for the aged.

We demand. . . the greatest possible consideration of small business in the purchases of the national, state, and municipal governments.

In order to make possible to every capable and industrious [citizen] the attainment of higher education and thus the achievement of a post of leadership, the government must provide an all-around enlargement of our system of public education. . . .
We demand the education at government expense of gifted children of poor parents. . .

. The government must undertake the improvement of public health — by protecting mother and child, by prohibiting child labor — by the greatest possible support for all clubs concerned with the physical education of youth.

We combat the . . . materialistic spirit within and without us, and are convinced that a permanent recovery of our people can only proceed from within on the foundation of " The Common Good Before the Individual Good ."

I guess I have to disagree, they really aren't communists.

[NeoCaveman]

top 10

[berdie]

The OWSERS rant!

(did I make it before 10?)

[cripplecreek]

I can usually get them to shut up by saying that I love my communist fire department. All urban fire departments are Marxist.

My rural community doesn't even have a fire department, we pay for coverage from a neighboring town's volunteer department and we freely voted to do so. We also choose as individuals, from a half dozen different garbage services for trash pick up.

[mikrofon]

7. A right to pursue a business without fear of intimidation or unfair competition

Mr. Commie is actually defending the state's "right" to put a private enterprise out of business w/o interference to eliminate that patently-unfair capitalistic method of competition.

[EQAndyBuzz]

“They believe in starving women and children, putting women in their place, controlled speech. Rape, pillage and plunder of workers is ok for employers. They believe that men control women’s bodies. “

At this point he went from possibly being a real communist to a genuine useful idiot.

I stopped reading after that.

[chesley]

4

[Rides_A_Red_Horse]

Being a caseworker has opened my eyes to some truths. Half of my clients legitmately and rightly receive their benefits. Most are able bodied men and women, who even when offered employment, because we have employment services here, turn it down. BUT! they all have the latest Iphone, and the women have the best looking nails I have ever seen.

---

Alright, is someone supposed to go visit this guy and offer him the choice between the blue pill and the red pill?

[driftless2]

I’m know many Democrats who are good workers, but I think we can safely say that all the people who are physically able but who seek to avoid work (leeches...parasites I believe they’re called) support the Dems.

[Future Snake Eater]

"I Guess I Am A Communist But I Am Proud Of It"

"I guess I sorta, kinda might be a, like, Communist or whatever, if it doesn't cut into my pot-smoking time and stuff."

Now that's real dedication to an ideal.

[Arrowhead1952]

7. A right to pursue a business without fear of intimidation or unfair competition.

Well DUmmie, you may as well not pursue the world's oldest profession or politics. Oh wait, they are almost the same thing.

[luvie]

[DUmmie Puzzledtraveller, I see where you are going with this. So I'm going to flip all the cards over, panel, and award today's Kewpie Doll to our guest. Congratulations, Puzzledtraveller!]

[freedumb2003]

>>I can usually get them to shut up by saying that I love my communist fire department. All urban fire departments are Marxist.

My rural community doesn’t even have a fire department, we pay for coverage from a neighboring town’s volunteer department and we freely voted to do so. We also choose as individuals, from a half dozen different garbage services for trash pick up. <<

The DUmmy’s argument isn’t even close to a winner. Volunteers are not pressed into service. The desire to give to the community is the same as working in soup kitchens or with charity - based on the individual, not the collective.

[PJ-Comix]

DUmmie TheMastersNemesis, are you now or have you ever been a...oh, you are one. Thanx for volunteering that info upfront.

[Newtoidaho]

The only thing a communist really believes in is the necessity of killing anyone who does not agree with them.

[rockrr]

["Nut." That's just a squirrel word, and I do mean you!]

OK, that struck my FUnny bone just right. Thanks, I needed a good chuckle!