She drove 450 miles, was ganged up on, and treated deplorably. She was the entertainment for the ‘family’. If you want more of a behavior, you reward it. You cannot change people - you can only change how you interact with them.
I have no use for ‘families’ like that; I’d rather be an ‘orphan’ and happy. Who would want to sit down, in a hostile environment and “Pretend” they are enjoying themselves? I can think of infinite other places to be, and other things to do - that my spouse and I would actually enjoy.
Take Mom out for dinner somewhere nice, before or after the Dinner with the boor. Why put up with him?
I know people like that. Some are cool, and we just talk about sports instead. One or two just can’t be helped. So, I just avoid them entirely.
Contrary to the common phrase, you can choose your friends and you CAN choose your relatives.
A man who behaves like that, his house or not, is not truly a brother. He would be dead to me if he treated me and mine like that at a family function. I wouldn’t stand for that even for the sake of my mother.
It used to be that, in their younger days, baby boomer liberals always used to joke about the "crazy" uncle at the family gathering that would spout off about the greatness of America and how the commies are our enemies. The roles will soon be reversed, with the boomer libs being the ones mocked for their political views by the younger generations that see the damage done by liberal politicians in both parties.
I was thinking more along the lines of this:
“Like most liberals, you have your head firmly implanted in your ass. Since apparenly Mom gave all the brains in the family to me, you were left with that pile of drug addled mush in your skull you call a brain, so let me make this easy for you to understand:
F**K OFF!!”
1. Bring several large merengue pies for 'dessert'.
2. Wait for the jackass braying to begin.
3. Apply the pies vigorously and with enthusiasm to the visages of the brayers.
3. Calmly walk away, never to return or to communicate with them in any way.
In short - cut your losses and have fun doing it.
I bought a large home on a farm last year so the family came here for Thanksgiving. 22 of them anyways. We don’t argue politics. We have no Republicans in the family but we do have several conservatives and a few liberals. I am conservative, my brother is liberal. Mom was a hippy, Dad a 2 tour Vietnam Veteran.
Mom still wonders how in the heck she raised a conservative and Dad just tells her to leave me be, I’m the one kid she has with a lick of common sense.
No, we argue religion. Brother is also agnostic/atheist and the rest of us are very much believers in the Lord Jesus Christ.
Dad and Brother had a really “animated” argument last year about Jesus. Dad says to brother “If you’re so damned smart (brothers’ the only one of us with a college degree) why are you hellbound?
Brother says “I don’t believe in the tooth fairy or Santa either.
I told brother (since I came to Christ at 34) the very logical reason that I made this choice. He thinks I am an idiot.
Anyhow, we argue religion more than politics and I look forward to it.
One of my adult children has views that are more Libertarian, and less religious, than mine. We simply avoid some topics and enjoy everything else.
I have discovered a great way to handle Liberals that are obnoxious...there are many at work.I refuse to argue or “debate” them or even try to respond rationally ( it doesn’t work, they don’t want a decent discussion or honest, open communication).
So I deflect the entire “discussion”
When they bring up Bush and start ranting, I respond with something like “ I just LOVE his Texas accent!” Then I smile broadly.
When they start tearing apart Palin, I say” She has such a GREAT body!” Then I smile broadly.
When they bring up Obamacare, I respond with “ You know I just had two crowns done, yes right up here, can you see, there’s one on the left, yeah and this one here, yeah, on the right. It took weeks to go back and get this whole thing done. And, well, now I will get my teeth whitened. Have you ever thought of getting your teeth professionally whitened?” Then I smile broadly.
When they talk about 2012, I start talking about the benefits of dark chocolate.
Its hard to argue or even get upset with someone who won’t take the bait and is so “stupid” that they would vote for Palin cause she’s so “pretty.”
I know people like that. You can’t win an argument with them using facts and logic, so why try? After they finish their diatribe, I just tell them, “You’re a f#*@ing idiot!”.
Last quote is incorrectly attributed to Winston Churchill - it was actully from Lord Acton
I am sorry, I don’t want to discuss that right now. I am here to see our Mother....
I am sorry, I already said the topic was not up for discussion. Hey, have you seen that new movie,.....?
I am truly sorry, but this is now the third time you have tried to discuss that topic with me. If you persist in being so rude to a guest in your home, I guess we will just have to leave. We really only drove this whole way to visit Mom anyway.
Anyone who says they are able to get through these insufferable family holiday dinners unscathed, with linquine spined libs attempting to hold everyone HOSTAGE, is in denial.
The economy, home sales, medical issues, The Supremes. They all lead back to Ground Obama and leave room only for conversations about the weather and a tooth fairy reality. Who’d wanna waste that kinda time when you can be watching football?
Even if you “agree to disagree”, it’s a lesson in futility and way too much effort.
I say, don’t punish yourselves. You can’t pick your relatives but you can sure decide whether or not you want to become a victim of their insatiable desire to try to change you, humiliate you or just make you damned uncomfortable.
See: fridge magnets.
Here would be my response: “Thanks for the invite. I’m not able to join you this year. Say hello to everyone for me!”
I’m almost Lib-free right now in my personal life...and have divested myself of toxic family and friend relationships in the process that are hazardous to my Conservative health. And I feel so much better!
An aberant nephew who praised unions and anti Scott Walker tactics last year,,,after getting a tongue lashing from me, his hostess, is no longer on the invite list.
Of course, I’m the matriarch and pretty much get to decide who is at my dinner table now.
Later, when I am older and have less inflence, I guess I’ll just blissfully enjoy my turkey at the nursing home while watching the Packers beat the Lions .
I prefer to counter pushy questioning with absurdity. Refuse to play the game they're setting you up for.
"Why don't you like Obama?" - "He's an evil mutant. Look at those ears. He's obviously the result of a failed genetic experiment by somebody who watched Disney's Dumbo too many times".
"What do you think of Obama's Healthcare Initiative?" - "It's all a plot to deprive us of our vital juices. They will secretly siphon off our vital juices at checkup time."
I spent about 60 years of my life having every holiday ruined by my ranting liberal older brother (who is stuck in the Berkeley 60s). The rest of us are decidedly conservative, and his two or three day stay always ended with me in the bathroom hurling, right after seeing his car disappear on the road.
Wish I had felt strong enough years ago to put a stop to it, but alas, I didn’t. Until five years ago...........that’s when I declared that he was not welcome in my home....EVER. Yes, “ever” is a bit harsh, but the peace I’ve enjoyed is worth it.
My wife and I were going to have a quiet Thanksgiving in our home, but one of my sisters insisted that we come over for dinner. I can’t make my wife cook Thanksgiving dinner, although she’s very good at it, but she obviously would rather not cook for just two. So we’re going over to my sister’s house. Which mean listening to my liberal family members and in-laws getting drunk and talking loudly about how much they hate Republicans. I used to argue, now I just shut up and smile. But it is irritating.
Glad I’m not the only one with holiday family problems. The thing that used to irritate me the most is we had to be there, on what should be an enjoyable holiday day, with people who really didn’t want to spend time with us, but who also didn’t want us not being there as it made mom/grandmom happy to have us all together. And thinking about it, if we weren’t there, mom/grandmom’s attention was probably focused on the fact we weren’t there, so even if we weren’t there, the attention was focused on us and not those who were there, which is who her attention was usually focused on when we were there. It all seemed like such a power struggle. Be here and make me happy, doesn’t matter if you’re not happy. LoL We finally walked away and spent holiday time at home with our own children. Now our children are grown and we don’t pressure them to come to our house. We have an open door policy, when ever you are here fine. There will be food if wanted and we may or may not eat with them because we eat when dinner is ready and with whoever is there then. And there are leftovers to reheat for whoever shows up later and is hungry. Which another complaint of mine was my extended family never gave an exact time to be there for meals. They would say noon and dinner would be served at 2pm. They would say 2pm and serve dinner at 1pm and complain that we were late. And of course at least one person had to break the political silence and start a family political battle. Of which neither side can believe what ideological stupid people they are related to. LOL Only one to stay out of it was mom/grandmom, and only because she never paid much attention to such things.