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Woman Comes Forward To Detail Atrocities In Herman Cain’s Apartment (Satire Attempt)
The Right Elective Decisions ^ | 11/03/2011 | Chris Davis

Posted on 11/03/2011 6:17:34 PM PDT by writer33

Washington,D.C. – With all of the accusations flying about what Herman Cain knew and when he knew it, one woman has dared to come forward and detail the atrocities of one horrific night in 1991. Previously, the woman was scared to come forward, but since Cain’s long train of abuses have been well-documented by the Politico, it only made sense to tell the public just what they can expect from a Cain presidency.

The woman, Sharon Itall, is now an influential insurance agent, but was once just the shell of a scarred woman after one night with Herman Cain. And since the allegations have surfaced, Sharon is willing to chronicle the events of that steamy, August night in Washington, D.C. In her opinion, there is simply no choice in the matter now.

Sharon says that the “denigrating events” all began at an office party. “It began by floating a keg that Mr. Cain had purchased for our office party,” stated Sharon. “Needless to say we were drunk, but I had no idea that the evening would spiral into a night of hell.”

TRED (The Right Elective Decisions) has not confirmed any of this story but feels compelled to keep you riveted to your computer screen. And this is the rest of her fateful story:

TRED: What exactly happened on that fateful night?

Sharon: Humiliation beyond belief. That’s what happened. (She begins to break down.)...


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: atrocities; blackwalnuts; chrisdavis; herbcain; hermancain; writer33
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To: TChad; Harmless Teddy Bear
Pats shoulder comfortingly

BATTERY!


UNWANTED SEXUAL TOUCHING!!!
81 posted on 11/06/2011 9:26:00 AM PST by TheOldLady (FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
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To: stephenjohnbanker; writer33
Thanks for the ping, Mr. Banker. That's a perfect parody of the silly hysteria over Mr. Cain's Southern-gentleman style.

Writer33 has this exactly right. When they hyperventilate, laugh at them. Maybe they'll go apoplectic and pop a blood vessel. </bloodthirsty old bat>
82 posted on 11/06/2011 9:36:53 AM PST by TheOldLady (FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
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To: TheOldLady; TChad
Not my fault. TChad is the one with the battery.

I think he is throwing it at people but I can't be sure.

83 posted on 11/06/2011 9:44:10 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (*Philosophy lesson 117-22b: Anyone who demands to be respected is undeserving of it.*)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear; TChad

Excellent! More innuendo and made-up dirt. This is going to sell papers... Uh...


84 posted on 11/06/2011 10:11:25 AM PST by TheOldLady (FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
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To: stephenjohnbanker

All is well, stephenjohn. Thank you for asking, sir.


85 posted on 11/06/2011 2:17:02 PM PST by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: TigersEye

A sample ping!


86 posted on 11/11/2011 5:51:24 PM PST by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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