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Palin E-Mails Unsettling
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^
| 16 June 2011
| John Semmens
Posted on 06/18/2011 2:48:17 PM PDT by John Semmens
The release of more than 20,000 of former Governor Sarah Palins e-mails has yielded content that some are calling unsettling.
We noted that on more than one occasion Governor Palin mentioned that she hoped for divine guidance to help her reach the right decision on an issue, the Associated Press (AP) wrote in an unsigned analysis. This is wrong on several levels. First, it is an illegal mingling of church and state. Theres supposed to be a wall between the two. Palin breached that wall.
Second, it implies a certain degree of helplessness on Palins part, the AP continued. Were the tasks of being governor too big for her to handle in her own without imaginary assistance from a non-existent entity? Is this the kind of person we should trust to exercise governing authority?
Finally, if we grant that a god does exist is it fair to seek help from this source? the AP asked. Isnt it like a player asking a referee for special favors? Shouldnt we want a level playing field in politics?
Others found fault with the assessment that the e-mails were written at an 8th grade level of comprehension according to the Flesch-Kincaid readability test. The average score for Palins e-mails was only 8.5, Presidential Press Secretary Jay Carney crowed. The Presidents state-of-the-union address was rated 8.8the same as Martin Luther King Jr.s I Have a Dream speech.
Democrat and Chief Executive Officer of 2tor (an on-line education organization) John Katzman cautioned that comparing ordinary daily communications with historic speeches could be misleading. An e-mail is often a quick, off-the-cuff message. A state-of-the-union speech is crafted by a team over several weeks. That Palins e-mails come so close could be considered remarkable.
read more...
http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/06/17/president-rejects-need-for-congressional-approval-of-libyan-military-operation/
TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: craptire; craptirecraptire; god; media; palin; readability; satire; satiresatire; stupid; wasteoftime
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The Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level Readability Formula
Step 1: Calculate the average number of words used per sentence.
Step 2: Calculate the average number of syllables per word.
Step 3: Multiply the average number of words by 0.39 and add it to the average number of syllables per word multiplied by 11.8.
Step 4: Subtract 15.59 from the result.
The specific mathematical formula is:
FKRA = (0.39 x ASL) + (11.8 x ASW) - 15.59
Where,
FKRA = Flesch-Kincaid Reading Age
ASL = Average Sentence Length (i.e., the number of words divided by the number of sentences)
ASW = Average number of syllables per word (i.e., the number of syllables divided by the number of words)
Analyzing the results is a simple exercise. For instance, a score of 5.0 indicates a grade-school level; i.e., a score of 9.3 means that a ninth grader would be able to read the document. This score makes it easier for teachers, parents, librarians, and others to judge the readability level of various books and texts for the students.
Theoretically, the lowest grade level score could be -3.4, but since there are no real passages that have every sentence consisting of a one-syllable word, it is a highly improbable result in practice.
Sample #1 Paragraphs and Sentences (Something the MSM might use to establish a baseline measurement.);
Jamal is a 27 year old 9th grader. This would be a sample of Jamal's vocabulary assignment. Leroy is to use each word followed by a full colon ":" in a sentence.
Rectum: I once had two cadillacs, but my ol' lady rectum.
Hotel: I gave my girlfriend the crabs and the hotel everyone.
Disappointment: My parole officer tol me if I miss disappointment, they gonna send me back to the big house.
Penis: I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said penis.
Israel: Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex. I said, man that looks fake. He said "bullshit" that watch Israel.
Catacomb: Don King was at the fight the other night, man somebody oughta give dat catacomb.
Undermine: There is a fine lookin hoe living in the apartment undermine.
Acoustic: When I was liddle, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to da pool hall.
Iraq: When I got to da pool hall, I tol my uncle Iraq, yo break em.
Stain: My momma-in-law stopped by and I axed her "Do you plan on stain fer dinner ?"
Seldom: My cousin gave me two tickets to the Nicks game, so I seldom.
Honor: At the rape trial, the Judge axed my buddy who be honor first.
Odyssey: I tol my brother, you odyssey the tits on dat hoe. Axe: The policeman wanted to axe me some questions.
Tripoli: I was gonna buy my ol' lady a bra for her birthday, but I couldn't find a Tripoli.
Fortify: I asked the hoe how much? She said "fortify"
Income: I just got in bed with da hoe an income d wife.
The above were not original. :)
Another Sample #2 submitted by someone who might be learning about agriculture. Someone like a young Sarah Palin. ;
Radiation can be used to stop the sprouting of root crops. If you would like, I can give you the details of this process.
Which Sample has the higher Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level Readability score ?
21
posted on
06/18/2011 5:21:24 PM PDT
by
pyx
(Rule#1.The LEFT lies.Rule#2.See Rule#1. IF THE LEFT CONTROLS THE LANGUAGE, IT CONTROLS THE ARGUMENT.)
To: John Semmens
I can't believe the lame media hasn't already brought this up!
You are too funny, John. I love when you point out how ridiculous they are!
22
posted on
06/18/2011 5:38:05 PM PDT
by
CAluvdubya
(I STAND WITH SARAH...)
To: John Semmens
Look at the idiots making fun of Palin. They show their true colors. Black as night and evil.
To: John Semmens
Yeah, these scum sucking liberal whiners are ... Oh! It’s you, John. LOL, carry on.
24
posted on
06/18/2011 9:37:36 PM PDT
by
MHGinTN
(Some, believing they can't be deceived, it's nigh impossible to convince them when they're deceived.)
To: John Semmens
25
posted on
06/18/2011 10:36:35 PM PDT
by
SuziQ
To: KarlInOhio
Too true, m'FRiend.
BTW, **only** 3? Tch, tch, tch...
;^)
26
posted on
06/18/2011 11:09:33 PM PDT
by
SAJ
(Zerobama -- a phony and a prick, therefore a dildo)
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