Posted on 05/25/2011 9:44:57 PM PDT by Nachum
Doctors are prescribing drinking water for neglected elderly patients to stop them dying of thirst in hospital. The measure – to remind nurses of the most basic necessity – is revealed in a damning report on pensioner care in NHS wards. Some trusts are neglecting the elderly on such a fundamental level their wards could face closure orders. The snapshot study, triggered by a Mail campaign, found staff routinely ignored patients’ calls for help and forgot to check that they had had enough to eat and drink.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
You could have had the courage to address me directly.
The “Grandma’s” only child could not care for her. She has serious health problems, and knee replacements (which haven’t helped much), and was physically incapable of doing so. The son-in-law could not help (only a half doz. years younger than the mom-in-law) because he is fragile with a serious heart condition.
The grandson could not look after her because he works, and she would have been left home alone anyway.
The Grandmother choose to stay in the nursing home. She CHOSE it. I know her daughter did prefer it because it was most convenient, which I frowned on, but that was how she felt.
My husband (not married at that time) did ask his Grandmother many times if she wanted to leave there, or consider something different. She said no. When he tried to talk to his mother about it she shut him down.
So, sometimes it isn’t the whole family being mean or heartless. In fact, a lot of times it can’t be done differently - very sad - but a fact.
He visited her two to three times every week, but one thing people here may not realize. When you visit often, the changes don’t strike you. If he had gone once a month, he would probably have seen a big change in her weight or strength.
Like when my brother was dying of cancer - he got pissed at me about three weeks before he died, so I hadn’t seen him again until a week before he died. The change was SHOCKING. And don’t give me crap for letting the two weeks go by-he would get horribly worked up and couldn’t be calmed down, and I was afraid it would result in his collapse. The cancer had gone to his brain right about then, and once he got upset - it was impossible to calm him. But my oldest spent every day there and kept me informed. He was the only person my brother wouldn’t lash out at.
An elderly person losing weight slowly, slowly becoming more frail - it is very difficult to see if you visit them frequently.
That is a sad story. Non-intact families, non-extended families living together as they did in the past, make caring for the frail elderly at home much more difficult.
Families need to come back into fashion.
Many times there is no perfect or best solution.
One problem is that those who are tasked - and paid - to be humane are not. Institutions both private and governmental have so much become larded with not just incompetance but downright viciousness and cruelty and lust for power and money.
Feeding off of our trust.
Excellent points.
You are entirely mistaken there. I did not address you directly, precisely because I wished to exclude YOU PERSONALLY from my remarks. I do not know you personally, or anything about your circumstances, and I did not wish to appear to be attacking you personally, when you might have circumstances that completely justify your decision.
Nor do you need to explain yourself or make excuses to anyone here.
Profit before patients.
My cousin is a nurse, and she has to spend a huge amount of her shift doing the paperwork. In fact, every nurse I have ever spoken to is frustrated with that, they feel like they are only doing half of what they should/could do directly for the patients.
I know their hands are tied (the good nurses) and I blame the facilities drive for profit over the quality of care.
If I mistook your intentions, I apologize.
I think it’s important for people who insist it’s just as simple as visiting frequently or that every one should be able to care for their elderly family at home, to have an explanation - of sorts.
Reality isn’t as black and white as that. And sadly the nursing home option is being embedded in our society as THE option. Like with my husbands Grandma - they lure these elderly people in to the “assisted” care side, which is usually pretty nice, and then they become a “lifer”-and get shuffled off the the “full care” ward once they look like they might manage to naturally pass away before every dollar is drained. The “full care” side cost three times the rate as the assisted care, wasn’t a private room, and was in my opinion - depressing as hell. The quality of her surroundings was changed dramatically downward, she had far less social activity allowed -etc.
It’s a social/family/personal conundrum these days. I know, after caring for my dad (after a stroke) in my home for several months how challenging that can be. He was combative, confused, would sneak out of the house and march off down the road - with no coat in the middle of winter. Sigh. I was able to convince him to stay until he had improved enough to (sort of) look after himself again. It was hell I tell you - and very scary at times. After he went home I arranged a home aide - and he was horrible to her, so I got a different one, and he was worse to her. I went there every afternoon, shopped for him, did his laundry, etc. until he did eventually recover almost fully.
If I had to care for him the way he had been when first released from the hospital for much longer - I would have had a fricken breakdown. Lucky for us I wasn’t working at that time and could look after him. With complete honesty I can tell you that I never could have managed (physically or emotionally) to care for him if I had to go to a job every day during that time. He needed too much attention. Much more for that first month than even a newborn.
Exactly. Insurance is insane, and gov regulations are insane.
My grandfather (who died before I was born) was a country doctor in Maine, he routinely did house calls, using a car in the summer and horse and sleigh in the winter, and was often paid in produce.
“You really hurt me. That was cruel of you.”
Ok, fine. If your relative dies of dehydration, it won’t be your fault.
I hope that makes you feel better.
You are a real piece of work. I am stunned.
“You are a real piece of work. I am stunned.”
Look, your original post contained none of the “I’m a pregnant mom” stuff in it. I wouldn’t have posted to you had you broadcast that as your main point of debate.
So be it. You said you had a relative in the hospital and you wondered if she was getting enough to drink.
That is exactly why people die in hospitals of thirst in the UK - because people did not care enough to actually check - they trust a bureaucracy that may or may not make proper care possible. That’s why if you truly care, you go with someone to the hospital and someone is with them most if not all the time they are there making sure that they are at a minimum not dying of thirst.
You can roll out the “I’m a pregnant mom and you are being cruel to me” all you want. I’m genuinely happy for you in that regard, by the way, but it is unrelated to your initial post to which my comment was brutally honest, but in no way was it “cruel”.
Disgraceful. Shame on you.
I am aware some people leave their close relatives to the state and don’t care for them themselves. That would never happen in my family. But when you have a great-aunt living all her life across the country from you, you can’t make sure she has enough to drink. It was cruel of you to slam me repeatedly as if I were a deadbeat child.
<Get ready U.S.A. Here it comes.
I already saw something like this in a VA hospital exposé years ago. An elderly, bedridden, veteran looked like he was on his last legs. The relatives put a camera in the room and it showed that the nurses/aides would drop off a tray, but no one fed the gentleman. Then they’d come and pick up the tray without even asking why nothing had been touched.
When the patient was fed properly, he looked great, had gained weight, and looked like he might actually walk out of the hospital. You have to watch out for your elderly loved ones ‘cause apparently no one else will. Patient abuse and neglect can happen anywhere.
“It was cruel of you to slam me repeatedly as if I were a deadbeat child.”
I was wrong. You are a deadbeat niece. Must we continue this?
You are a deadbeat freeper who has never contributed anything to this site, other than that diarrhea of the mouth you seem so proud of. You should apologize to Yaelle, then shut up, but I know you won’t.
Nice to run into you again too. Thanks for checking in.
Thanks. I have never been so personally insulted and I’ve been here a long time and have plenty of arrow scars in me. To insult someone’s love for their elderly relative and then to keep it up is pretty LOW.
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