You are entirely mistaken there. I did not address you directly, precisely because I wished to exclude YOU PERSONALLY from my remarks. I do not know you personally, or anything about your circumstances, and I did not wish to appear to be attacking you personally, when you might have circumstances that completely justify your decision.
Nor do you need to explain yourself or make excuses to anyone here.
If I mistook your intentions, I apologize.
I think it’s important for people who insist it’s just as simple as visiting frequently or that every one should be able to care for their elderly family at home, to have an explanation - of sorts.
Reality isn’t as black and white as that. And sadly the nursing home option is being embedded in our society as THE option. Like with my husbands Grandma - they lure these elderly people in to the “assisted” care side, which is usually pretty nice, and then they become a “lifer”-and get shuffled off the the “full care” ward once they look like they might manage to naturally pass away before every dollar is drained. The “full care” side cost three times the rate as the assisted care, wasn’t a private room, and was in my opinion - depressing as hell. The quality of her surroundings was changed dramatically downward, she had far less social activity allowed -etc.
It’s a social/family/personal conundrum these days. I know, after caring for my dad (after a stroke) in my home for several months how challenging that can be. He was combative, confused, would sneak out of the house and march off down the road - with no coat in the middle of winter. Sigh. I was able to convince him to stay until he had improved enough to (sort of) look after himself again. It was hell I tell you - and very scary at times. After he went home I arranged a home aide - and he was horrible to her, so I got a different one, and he was worse to her. I went there every afternoon, shopped for him, did his laundry, etc. until he did eventually recover almost fully.
If I had to care for him the way he had been when first released from the hospital for much longer - I would have had a fricken breakdown. Lucky for us I wasn’t working at that time and could look after him. With complete honesty I can tell you that I never could have managed (physically or emotionally) to care for him if I had to go to a job every day during that time. He needed too much attention. Much more for that first month than even a newborn.