Works great!
Of course I don't pack 2 bottles, 10 diapers, 3 changes of clothes, etc etc in it like my wife does in the girl diaper bag.
Posted on 03/05/2011 10:26:14 AM PST by marcbold
There are thousands and thousands of Mommy blogs out there detailing the trials and difficulties of being a Mom. There aren’t a whole lot of Daddy sites out there. Or maybe there are, it’s just called ESPN. But regardless, I’m here to explain to you the many reasons it might just be harder to be a Dad than it is being a Mom. Here’s my top 12:
1) When we gain weight we can’t blame the pregnancies.
2) When one of your daughters gets in a fight at school and your other daughter yells, “Sweep the leg Johnny” everyone blames you.
3) Our fingers aren’t made for little buttons. They’re just not. If buttons needed hammering we’d be the ones to call. Finessing buttons? Not so much.
4) Dads can’t guilt our children by saying, “We carried you for nine months.”
5) “Wait until your Mommy gets home” just doesn’t sound as scary. It just doesn’t....
(Excerpt) Read more at ncregister.com ...
Through a few minutes of Internet research, I was able to determine that this is an allusion to a line from an American motion picture titled "Karate Kid."
Apparently, it was a very funny line.
Regards,
Good shot.
I’m too old to get used to a man carrying a bag.
**************************
Backpack works great. Someone has to take care of the kid, and more and more women are defaulting on that.
1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
R - Yes, but with a good ass, a woman is just about guaranteed a job, qualified or not.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
R - Women don't have pressure to perform. Basically they only have to be willing to go along, even if they're not in the mood. If the guy isn't in the mood, you both know it right away. (actually heard that in an interview with a male porn star, who was lamenting the fact that his job was soooo difficult)
3. Your last name stays put.
R - So, what's your problem ... ? Wait a sec, what's your name again?
4. The garage is all yours.
R - And the closet is all yours, except for the two hangers we can squeeze in on the end.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
R - A good thing too. Women put more effort into planning a wedding than the Pentagon puts into an armed strike!
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
R - Guys have to work at it to get laid. Almost any women could have sex any day of the week. That's an enormous power...
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
R - Women can bat their eyes, flash a smile, and get all kinds of extra service/help from any man, in any position, any time.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
R - Nope, but we don't have a multibillion dollar a year industry dedicated to making our hair look good either.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
R - Nope, but a knife does. Women get their tubes tied they're knocked out. Guys get a vasectomy, and they get a local...
10. Same work ... more pay.
R - Exactly, see #1.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
R - Right, and once again we have a multibillion dollar a year industry dedicated to aerobics, body/face creams, etc. to make women look good.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
R - Women will never get theirs caught in their zipper.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
R - You forgot limo, honeymoon, and the guy never again spending an entire paycheck on beer just for laughs.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
R - Prostate exams...
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
R - A good chest can carry a conversation even when you have nothing to say.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
R - You bring it on yourself by getting new shoes so often. Guys know the value of breaking in a good pair, and keeping them.
17. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
R - Chick flicks.
18. Your pals can be trusted never to ask you, "So, notice anything different?"
R - Your pals won't get drunk and puke in your new truck.
19. One mood, ALL the damn time.
R - Every month you have an excuse to act psychotic and we're supposed to be ok with this.
20. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
R - You got me there, that is pretty cool.
21. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
R - If you'd let us pack for you... Bikinis and lingere don't take up much room...
22. You can open all your own jars.
R - You can match a shirt and tie without help.
24. You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
R - Womens bathrooms are palacial compared to mens rooms.
25. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
R - Unmade? If it were up to us we'd leave the matress on the floor, the headboard cracked, and the sheets... Well, you get the idea... (evil grin)
26. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
R - Women keep score.
27. If someone forgets to invite you to something, you can still be friends.
R - We don't invite, we just naturally congregate during sporting events.
28. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
R - Yeah, but yours looks so much better on you...
29. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
R - But your friends will begin speculating you're gay.
30. Everything on your face stays its original color.
R - See "multibillion dollar a year industry" again...
31. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
R - Passenger? Hell, we drive. Even when we fly, we'd secretly love to get into the cockpit (great name BTW) and open it up, put that baby through her paces and see what she'll do.
32. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
R - See #16.
33. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
R - No, but if a woman bats her eyes at the cable guy when he comes she can get free HBO for life.
34. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me.
R - Silence is golden.
35. No maxi-pads.
R - No, but the most sensitive parts on our bodies are left swinging between our legs where they seem to get smacked at least once a month.
36. You don't mooch off other's desserts.
R - Mooch? Men rarely get to eat a dessert since "just one bite" means that the guy gets just one bite...
37. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
R - Yes, but you had better bring a beer if you're going to stay more than a couple of minutes.
38. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
R - As if we'd even notice.
39. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
R - What do you mean, more than 5 colors?
40. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
R - Hey, that's important! Why are you rippin' on that?
41. You almost never have strap problems in public.
R - Oh but we do. When we see a woman's strap it makes our minds wander completely off track... Usually leads to our wives/dates smacking us to get our attention. (see #35)
42. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
R - If women would wear their clothes tight enough, wrinkles wouldn't be a problem! :-)
43. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
R - See "multibillion dollar a year industry" again...
44. You don't have to shave below your neck.
R - But we have to shave every day.
45. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
R - A little flab on a guy is instantly termed "beer gut" or "love handles" while a little extra padding on a woman just makes her curves more pronounced.
46. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
R - See "multibillion dollar a year industry" again...
47. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
R - And occasionally slice end of finger nearly off... At which point we have to make up a lame excuse about turning nuts and bolts under the hood of the car and slipping...
48. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
R - Still have to shave every day.
49. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
R - And your point is?
50. The world is your urinal.
R - Ok, ya got me there again... Writing your name in the snow is pretty cool.
Got it right away ... nearly spewed my drink all over my laptop. Very funny!
You have that right!
Hahaha! Truth.
Very much so!
Very much so!
Number 1 is so true.
“Dads can’t guilt our children by saying, “We carried you for nine months.”
A modified version that works for me is “I used to wipe your @ss”.
Works great!
Of course I don't pack 2 bottles, 10 diapers, 3 changes of clothes, etc etc in it like my wife does in the girl diaper bag.
The one that gets my boys is, "I have had to catch your puke in my hands so it didn't get all over the table."
I always have loved everything my children’s father has done with them and the role he’s played in their lives.
In particular I remember him helping me out and taking over with a two year old son who would not get dressed in the outfit I had for him. He wanted to pick an outfit that was more appropriate for a hoe-down than a wedding. I was at my wits end and I called in dad to rescue me. I left the room and got the baby ready.
Anyway, to make a long story short, my son did not wear what he had selected and did not wear what I had selected. It was dressed by him and his dad in a wonderfully awful “formal” outfit that everyone at the wedding adored. He’s in just about every wedding picture taken.
We must honor dads and they must honor love. Our family would have been nothing without the nature of him and me.
Looks much better than a bag.
“We must honor dads and they must honor love”.
Amen, sister.
funniest thing i ever saw was my husband trying to put tights on our ten month old daughter. took about 20 minutes and were all twisted! lol
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