Posted on 08/04/2010 2:28:50 AM PDT by Scanian
Sometimes I feel really sorry for my mate, Jon. Thirty years ago he hooked up with a Buddhist, pacifist, Leftist vegetarian. Fast forward a few decades, and he now lives with his worst nightmare: a patriotic conservative who attends church and eats burgers with gusto.
So sometimes I feel bad for him. And other times I want to smack him upside the head.
Take, for instance, the time Jon saw me reading Sarah Palin's autobiography, Going Rogue. After he gasped in genuine shock, he said, snidely, "I'm surprised that she could write a book more than a few pages long."
To which I barked back, "At least she didn't have a terrorist like Bill Ayers write her book for her."
Welcome to my world. I hope it's not your world. Because living together as a progressive and a conservative in the leftest of all places is not for the faint of heart.
To my beloved mate, I have morphed into Typhoid Robin, a carrier of a repugnant disease. And Jon doesn't even know the half of it.
Even though I'm compulsively pecking away on the computer, he doesn't want to know what I'm up to. In our household, we have enacted a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.
While opposites may attract in other areas of life, not so with politics. In fact, politics makes strange bedfellows -- if not outright enemy combatants.
While it's never easy to be on opposite sides of the political spectrum, with Obama in office, it's downright miserable. Obama has been dividing this country like the Civil War days. Rather than moving us forward, he's pitting brother against brother.
I know some liberal/conservative couples who are making it just fine. But there's one big difference: they were already political adversaries when they got together.
It's one thing to enter a relationship with all your cards on the table. It's another thing to change.
I have unintentionally broken an unwritten rule integral to most relationships: Thou Shalt Not Change. That rule about consistency is no small matter. Partners feel safe and secure by counting on the other person's predictability.
Such a sea change like a political conversion can feel like a betrayal. It's not quite on the same level as an affair, but it still can erode trust. One person has transformed into someone new and unfamiliar.
The partner may fear other changes. Jon may wonder, "If Robin is no longer a liberal, what's next? How else will she change?" Or, more poignantly, "Will she still be the woman I love?"
And there's truth to these concerns. Because changing voting patterns has been the least of it for me. Becoming a conservative alters everything about the person. No longer following the herd like a good progressive, I'm now focused on personal freedom and individuality.
My view of the world has changed, as has my behavior. In many ways, I am a completely different person.
For instance, I'm no longer the poster child for codependency, enabling and justifying all kinds of bad behavior. I'm totally on board with the new Arizona law. One of my many epiphanies: Illegal means illegal. Yet if I voiced these beliefs in Berkeley, I would be viewed as the She-Devil, even in my own home.
The saddest thing for me about the political differences is a sense of loss. Jon and I used to see eye-to-eye on almost everything, both political and religious.
We'd spend hours bonding over like-minded issues. Now we can't go anywhere near politics without hard feelings. Occasionally a political topic will come up (always my doing, even though I promise myself to keep a wrap on it). The conversation never ends well.
So what am I doing to preserve my relationship? Through my devotion, I try to reassure Jon that I'm still Robin at heart.
In fact, I'm hoping that he appreciates some of the benefits from my political conversion. As an arch-feminist since the 1970s, I haven't exactly been supportive of his more testosterone-driven ways.
But I've seen the light; I've become vehemently opposed to feminizing men. I now encourage Jon's distinctly male behavior, which often leaves him scratching his head in disbelief.
Will Jon and I make it? I think so. God, I hope so! I love the man with all my heart and soul.
Auspiciously, Jon is a supportive partner who has always encouraged me to pursue my hopes and dreams. We have a close and committed relationship. And we've already made it through some serious life challenges: the death of parents, health problems, professional disappointments.
However, all of our ups and downs pale in comparison to living as political opponents in Berkeley circa 2010. Surviving the reign of Obama may be our most formidable challenge yet.
He is suffering from Obamacitis.A dreaded mental disorder that is hard to cure.Long term low doses of reality sometimes help the victims. The shock of instant awareness can be overwhelming.
meant to put an “ain’t” tween he and snakehead.
My wife, btw, has consistently been more reflexively conservative than me, though more on the authoritarian right, while I strongly verve libertarian. I think women in general are more inclined to authoritarianism than men. Sort of nuns vs. cowboys.
The dead-end of liberal "one world" crap:
They claim they love everyone and embrace differences and think everyone can get along with anyone else on the planet, yet they despise conservative Americans who live right next door to them.
They want you to believe they can get along with Muslims who despise America for everything from gay marriage to women's rights, but they despise Sarah Palin who has made her own way in our society in precisely the way they claim to applaud.
Liberals trumpet diversity, yet they really believe in only most shallow form of it--different ethnic backgrounds are great as long as under those different skin tones one believes in abortion, gay rights, high taxes, and federal oversight over all aspects of our lives.
Forget sleeping with the enemy, liberals can't even live with neighbors who aren't just like them.
If Obama and our present dems were in power I would have been fighting for state's rights and session!
“Obama has been dividing this country like the Civil War days. Rather than moving us forward, he’s pitting brother against brother.”
If Obama and our present dems were in power I would have been fighting for state’s rights and (cessession)!
opps
Liberalism entices with the dual fictions of Utopia and “caring”.
When it really is conservatism that really cares:
1) We want the poor to become successful, happy, and richer
2) We admire nature and love the great outdoors
3) We want students to learn real skills and moral attitudes.
etc.
So when the Liberal wakes up and realizes there is no Utopia from “wishing”, they become conservative in that they try to make the best of reality.
There is less regional aspect to this divide in the country. It will not be a Civil War like the US Civil War this time around, if it comes to shooting. It will be more like Rwanda and Burundi with the Hutus and the Tutsis.
That can happen in a marriage when one partner starts asking questions the other can't answer, such as:
- Is it logical to get out of debt by spending more money?
- Who REALLY is benefitting from the 'stimulus money', and what happened to the promise to account for every dime?
Why is Ford doing great without taking a bailout, and Chevy is still strugglin, with government takeover?
- What part of the Constitution says the government can force you to buy insurance?
- If not buying insurance is only a small fine, and the insurance company HAS to give me coverage, why don't I just keep the insurance company on speed dial?
- What would happen if WE snuck across the border into Mexico?
Etc.
Etc.
Etc.
Etc.
I think I have something in common with this woman. I, as a 19-29 year old, was an empty headed sheep wanting to be led to be liked, or a chameleon changing to match who I was with because I hadn’t yet realized that I was smart enough to have an opinion of my own.
I am a different person than my husband married, but I think he likes me better this way. Being dependent on someone else for all of your opinions is slavery at its highest(lowest?) form.
When I see young women like who I was voicing an opinion and revealing themselves more than they know, I am embarrassed for who I was. I have now learned to keep my mouth shut, well sometimes anyway. But I do know now that opinion, whether mine or others, is not truth. And it is not required to be expressed, or used as a recruitment tool to win others.
I was thinking about the ramifications of a state or states breaking away from the U.S. the other day. Even if it could be done peacefully, could you imagine all of the issues that would have to be dealt with at the state level to gain support for the idea? People would demand to know what the state would offer to replace programs like SS, Medicare, and other federal programs before they would support the idea in this entitlement society.
Bunk, each state is an individual entity, each can decide to stay or go. It took the CSA 2 months to form a government.
My politics are based on reason and logic. When she asserts that "all people have a right to healthcare" I ask where it is written that doctors and other medical people are obligated to serve?
When she asserts that the stimulus is working I ask where are the jobs? Then I ask how can any entity spend itself rich?
When she tells me that the illegals are simply hard working people who want to be free, I ask her how she would feel if 12 million Russians or North Koreans had crossed our borders without permission.
It's working. I never get emotional about it; I maintain a calm and reasonable stance and she is seeing things a bit more clearly now. She laughed out loud at Kerry's yacht fiasco so things are getting better.
Getting out on your own takes commitment to sacrifice for the end result. Those who have the most to lose will not usually give it up unless they have an eternal view of life after death.
I see a communist revolution when the government is bankrupt and can no longer afford the non-essential programs of slavery and those slaves revolt, in every city, creating the national emergency the white house is waiting for.
At that time those states with constitutions protecting themselves will be the only surviving republics, if they have their own military forces or police, to put down the rebellion.
States willing to do the right thing economically now, will keep the rebellion to a minimum because the masses will be in control. Those states depending on DC will react when it’s too late.
It’s a great time to be a governor.
Question, can the administration and congress, cause that scenario now, bringing about the communist rebellion? Are the laws they plan on enacting, able to bring down the republic within the next 2 years?
Apparantly she is shacked up with this guy? That, plus her apparant need to discuss her private affairs in public tells me she has a long way to go yet.
Your words speak truth. My liberal neighbors are bullies at heart and since Obama, we no longer speak to each other. In some ways, it’s been a relief.
I married a pro abortion semi lib 30 years ago.
She is a staunch conservative now. ;)
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