Prayer on it's way.
Posted on 06/14/2010 1:48:57 PM PDT by savedbygrace
A few days ago, my wife suddenly, without forewarning that I ever detected, told me she is leaving me. The details are not important, only that I recognize it was mostly my fault.
Our grown daughter is leaving home about the same time. Within three weeks, I will be alone, with only my Golden Retriever as a companion. I'm calling on God, and he is answering, but in this physical world, it's only my Golden.
Heartbroken, deeply wounded, ashamed. That's me.
I'm hoping to receive words of advice and counsel. I'm a born again, spirit filled Christian, so I'll respond more readily to Christian-based advice and counsel, but I'm ready to accept whatever you have for me. I'm needy.
Bummer!
You are lucky you have a golden. Instant walking and hiking buddy. You get to set up a new routine around what you want to do in life. You can sing real loud in the shower! You can listen to any music you want to and watch any programs you want to. Eat healthy and if you need to, lose weight and get more exercise. Pray walking/jogging is fun. Participate in any social invitation that comes along and invite people you like over to your house for get togethers. Take up new hobbies.
A marriage doesn’t break due to just one person. It can not be all your fault. You have no reason for shame - you are not the one who abandoned your wife. She abandoned her marriage vows for her own weaknesses and problems in coping in a relationship and keeping her word - not because you have suddenly become a bad guy. If she shifted all the blame onto you...she’s being dishonest. Don’t join her in that. Don’t get ripped off.
God Bless you!
Try to find the lessons and come out a better man. Pray a lot.
Similar thing happened to me about a year ago. The only time my pastor talked to me about my marriage was when he was telling me that my wife was leaving me. I have no advice to give, only pain to share and promised prayers. As a believer in Christ, I do have something I recommend, but it is a difficult program to follow, and I have not quite had the strength to follow it... yet. Freepmail me if you want details.
I like it up where you live, too. Had a lot of fun there. I’ve been to church at few times at Reality LA. More East Hollywood, though. They congregate at a high school off of Sunset. I forget the name.
In the winter we have six-dog nights, and two of them (greyhounds) are pretty big. Occasionally someone gets rolled on.
All of our critters are rescues, except for cat #1. Can’t imagine life without a house full of animals.
I’ve always wondered about the ice cream. Doesn’t the weight gain amplify the depression? Or is it totally worth it?
“When my marriages break up”...as if it’s a forgone conclusion. That is kinda funny. The statement, I mean, not the break ups.
But being that you are a perfect lady, it was obviously all their fault.
Well put.
Sound advice.
Good luck to you. And, we’re here if you want to talk about things...
The weight gain is kind of a bummer, but the ice cream is only to get you through the first few weeks. Then you redecorate the house, go on a diet, all that second-stage stuff. I have come to the conclusion that I’m simply best off alone. It’s difficult for me to live with another person. I’m extremely quiet and tidy, and spend a lot of time in my own little world, so ... I was put here to save cats, I’ve decided.
I guess you know better than Jesus who deserves your compassion. I get it.
Prayer on it's way.
Sweet Jesus that’s tough. I’ve been through it. There IS life after divorce as you can tell by my tagline. You eluded to this being your fault and I will not ask you to elaborate but I will tell you that unless you fix whatever that problem is, no future relationships will prosper.
I’ll keep you in prayer,
God Bless.
Remember that the worst day of your life is always followed by a better day and that no ,matter how bad you think you have it, there are always others who have it worse.
I don’t know better than Jesus. I just know better than you.
SBG, God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind..2 Timothy 1:7
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:28-39
No advice, just saying I hope things work out for you. Lord willing. Said a prayer for you.
God does not give us things that we cannot handle. There is something to be learned out of this experience. Perhaps he wants you to be alone for a little bit to be able to HEAR the message he has been giving you. SOmetimes the noise of our lives makes it easy to ignore them. My Dad went to Hawaii for 6 months and lived in a bee and cane spider infested trailer. He had to learn to take care of himself and his needs instead of being dependent on my mom, and it was then he appreciated what she had done for him for so many years. He also heard other messages he was being sent about compassion, love, and letting go of his own self hatred he developed during a childhood of severe abuse.
Bottom line here, 1) you are not alone. You will have to take care of yourself. Two different things. 2) This is an opportunity for you. What that opportunity is, I can’t say. 3) You are ok. You will be ok. Take a deep breath, and start listening. The message is there, you just have not heard it yet. This is your chance.
I hope things get better for you. In the process of your learning, involve your wife. Her inability to discuss what is bothering her is part of the problem, certainly. Be that as it may, you will get something out of that process as well, perhaps far more than you can imagine now.
God bless you, he is beside you even now!~
D
Source? Because I sure don't find that in my Bible.
God is the whole universe... you want to tell me how one book written by MAN can encompass the universe?
Whatever the problem was, she chose to leave rather than allowing you and her to work it through. Keep that in mind.
You will have an easier time replacing her, than she will in replacing you.
If it bothered her, then it was her responsibility to let you know so that you could change your behavior and find another way to vent (away from her). Instead she bottled it in until she decided she had to break her vows.
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