Posted on 05/31/2010 3:31:42 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
Some of the DUmmies must think they are "Brains" from the Thunderbirds. These rocket scientists are coming up with ingenious ways to fix the Gulf oil leak that I'm sure no one has ever thought of before. Witness this THREAD, "Why couldn't they make a 3 inch thick iron plate about 1 meter squared. Then. . . ."
So let's all head out to Tracy Island, aka DUmmieland, where Brains is working into the wee hours of the night, coming up with workable solutions, in Rocket Scientist Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets], as we all count down: 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . DUnderheads are GO!
Why couldn't they make a 3 inch thick iron plate about 1 meter squared
[First of all, Brains, you don't have an iron plate "3 inch thick" and "1 meter squared." Which is it, "inches"--good, solid, American--or "meters," you Euro-wannabe pseudo-scientist??]
Then cut a whole into the bedrock right up to the oil well hole . . .
[The whole hole?]
. . . and slip the metal plate across.
[Hey, great idea! I bet you're the first to come up with that! Grab your wetsuit and we'll send you down there and you can slip that puppy right across there and save everybody a lot of trouble! Next stop, Oprah!]
The metal plate would then be kept in place by the weight of the bedrock above. Better yet the bedrock would collapse on itself making it even more secure.
[BEDROCK COLLAPSES! FRED, WILMA TRAPPED UNDER THE RUBBLES!]
Works for me.
[OK, that's a plan then. Call Obama.]
the bedrock would have to be very thick
[Like your head.]
Your assets are gravity, rope and a few fragile robots. Good luck.
[Call MacGyver.]
no seal and there are likely other weak spots on the pipe that will fail.
[Sealed vs. Unsealed.]
This calls for some type of Laser.
[LASER DEEP CONTROL!!!]
Powerful laser + turbid water = steam = nada....
[Laser = loser]
Sharks with fricken laser beams attached to their heads!
[YES! THAT'S IT! . . . Except, I've never seen a shark with a laser beam on its head. . . .]
picture a frozen coke bottle exploding x 1000
[OK, got it. Now what?]
Three points. One, I'm not picturing exactly what you mean here - more details?
[Well, first you find some sharks who would be willing to wear the laser be-- wait, I think you're back to the iron plate idea. . . .]
Two, how on Earth would you even cut something like that?
[Get the sharks to point their laser beams at the iron plate.]
Three, how is that supposed to be faster than the relief well being drilled?
[These questions are too tough. We haven't got that far yet. But I'm sure if we all send out good thoughts and white light and positive energy, it'll work.]
What about a concrete hockey puck the size of a house. . . .
[Call the Edmonton Oilers.]
stack a bunch of curling things together.
[Hair curlers?? Stuff it with hair curlers?]
There is 3 foot diameter steel pipe lining the hole. Where it comes up out of the seabed there is a 60 foot tall blowout preventer (BOP) mounted on top of the pipe. The pressure at the top of the well pipe where it enters the BOP is greater than 10,000 psi. Cut a hole into the bedrock? Where? With what? If you were able to somehow dig a tunnel down through the rock and over to the well pipe, you would still have to cut all the way across a 3' diameter pipe (double pipe, since there's also a casing.) As soon as you cut into the pipe you would unleash a gusher of oil and gas which would blow all your fix-it stuff back out of the tunnel and into the gulf before you could do anything else.
[Picky, picky, picky. . . .]
oh well I tried. I felt like doing something.
[And that's what COUNTS, Brains! You FELT like doing something! That's the old DUAC spirit! You get an "E" for "Effort" . . . EPIC FAIL!]
I'm glued to the oil drum site.
[I don't think that's going to work either.]
A Slapshot in the Dark
Aboot two or three should plug it up real good, eh?
Top 23?
How about we find one of the world's largest oil companies, (you know, the guys who actually do this for a living), then send all the Washington DC know-nothing/do-nothing bureaucrats home and let the oil guys actually fix it without that semiliterate buffoon Ken Salazar “standing on their neck”.
Given that the leak is costing BP millions of dollars an hour, they might be some incentive......
That... or we plug the leak with DC paperwork. Lord knows there are mountains of that useless crap lying around.
Here's a question: Just how much deep-water response equipment, and trained, experienced blowout responders does the federal government actually have anyway? I don't know, but I suspect the answer is.... none. I may be wrong but I think those guys all work for the oil companies (or themselves).
What exactly can the feds actually add to the process, other than running around telling actual productive people what to do - like Obama lecturing those people on the beach - and writing taxpayer-funded checks for "victims".
What does that clown know about oil? Not one damned thing that some "Briefer" read to him out of a "Position Paper" an hour earlier. That was a staged photo-op to make him look knowledgeable and informed. All it did was make him look (more) pedantic and (more) condescending.
That's what I've been thinking all along. It is in BP's own self-interest to stop the leak. It's costing them lots of money. It's not like they WANT to lose all that oil. But the DUmmies are angry at them like they did this on purpose.
Then cut a whole into the bedrock right up to the oil well hole . . .
. . . and slip the metal plate across.
The metal plate would then be kept in place by the weight of the bedrock above. Better yet the bedrock would collapse on itself making it even more secure.
Sounds like the method they used to install that plate in this DUmmie's head.
If you thought "plug the damn hole" was bad, wait 'till The Zero is yelling at you to "SWEEEEP!!! MOVE! FASTER!!"
Well, at least there's a bar nearby for after.
This reminds me of the famous DUmmie Experiment Thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=125x56836
...and I thought I felt ignorant for suggesting high strength grout.
My first job out of college was in the patch in WY. Since, I have held positions in the NatGas industry and even now, I can say that this DUmmie is over simplifying.
Start with the 60 foot ^RISER^, of which part is the BOP. If this DUmmie. The pressure at the outlet is known only to the well engineers and they play that stuff close-to-the-vest.
The rest is speculation by an ass who thinks they know how to fix this.
Wake up, America. The only folks who know how to definitively fix this work for TransOcean and BP. Give them some space!
This tape will destroy itself in sixty seconds.
Then they're going to hock the robots to buy some munchies.
They're allergic to gravity because, it's like the law, man.
This was an accident, with loss of life. Surely no one thinks it was done on purpose?
The loss of 11 lives also loses their expertise. It may be that BP would have been successful already it if these people had survived. Can you imagine suddenly losing the talents and abilities of 11 of your co-workers?
BTW, I am also fascinated with the live feed. I don't have a clue what they're doing but I can't stop watching - though it seems to be offline at the moment.
Back. I spent the day opening a vast array of birthday presents.
Whose birthday was it? ;^)
How old are you now, PJ?
Whoa! Wait a minute! This high-tech industry jargon is way too complicated! Would someone please put this in layman's terms?
My birthday but I think you have a present too. Check your e-mail.
The funny thing about Duct Tape is we are NOT allowed to use it on any actual ducts. Every AIA(1) Specification (for commercial work) prohibits its use.
So the only thing we use Duct Tape for is wrapping bundles of Slip & Drive Cleats (the things that hold the joints of ductwork together) when we ship them to the job site in the truck.
I once ran into a tricky duct leakage problem ona Gubmint Project and found the solution in a then new Duct Sealant that was in 'tape form' that had a silver backing. At first the Gubmint guy went ape poop thinking it was Duct Tape. I had to submit all its spec's for Approval showing it was sealant before I could use it. Which finally came though and it did solve my problem.
Now that 'sealant stuff' (technical term) is so common it's sold at Home Depot. Next to the Duct Tape :-)
Sorry for the Tardy Reply but I was working, and on a (another) screwed up project with a STOO-PID™ deadline (nobody gives carp anymore, 'just get it done' -- sigh).
Today will get interesting when I start sending out emails.
(1) AIA = American Institute of Architects.
“gallows humor”
Prayers for all of you on the Gulf coast.
My heart breaks for all of us who love those beautiful beaches, wildlife and seafood.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.