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DUmmie FUnnies 05-31-10 (DUmmies try to fix the oil leak!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 31, 2010 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 05/31/2010 3:31:42 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

Some of the DUmmies must think they are "Brains" from the Thunderbirds. These rocket scientists are coming up with ingenious ways to fix the Gulf oil leak that I'm sure no one has ever thought of before. Witness this THREAD, "Why couldn't they make a 3 inch thick iron plate about 1 meter squared. Then. . . ."

So let's all head out to Tracy Island, aka DUmmieland, where Brains is working into the wee hours of the night, coming up with workable solutions, in Rocket Scientist Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets], as we all count down: 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . DUnderheads are GO!

Why couldn't they make a 3 inch thick iron plate about 1 meter squared

[First of all, Brains, you don't have an iron plate "3 inch thick" and "1 meter squared." Which is it, "inches"--good, solid, American--or "meters," you Euro-wannabe pseudo-scientist??]

Then cut a whole into the bedrock right up to the oil well hole . . .

[The whole hole?]

. . . and slip the metal plate across.

[Hey, great idea! I bet you're the first to come up with that! Grab your wetsuit and we'll send you down there and you can slip that puppy right across there and save everybody a lot of trouble! Next stop, Oprah!]

The metal plate would then be kept in place by the weight of the bedrock above. Better yet the bedrock would collapse on itself making it even more secure.

[BEDROCK COLLAPSES! FRED, WILMA TRAPPED UNDER THE RUBBLES!]

Works for me.

[OK, that's a plan then. Call Obama.]

the bedrock would have to be very thick

[Like your head.]

Your assets are gravity, rope and a few fragile robots. Good luck.

[Call MacGyver.]

no seal and there are likely other weak spots on the pipe that will fail.

[Sealed vs. Unsealed.]

This calls for some type of Laser.

[LASER DEEP CONTROL!!!]

Powerful laser + turbid water = steam = nada....

[Laser = loser]

Sharks with fricken laser beams attached to their heads!

[YES! THAT'S IT! . . . Except, I've never seen a shark with a laser beam on its head. . . .]

picture a frozen coke bottle exploding x 1000

[OK, got it. Now what?]

Three points. One, I'm not picturing exactly what you mean here - more details?

[Well, first you find some sharks who would be willing to wear the laser be-- wait, I think you're back to the iron plate idea. . . .]

Two, how on Earth would you even cut something like that?

[Get the sharks to point their laser beams at the iron plate.]

Three, how is that supposed to be faster than the relief well being drilled?

[These questions are too tough. We haven't got that far yet. But I'm sure if we all send out good thoughts and white light and positive energy, it'll work.]

What about a concrete hockey puck the size of a house. . . .

[Call the Edmonton Oilers.]

stack a bunch of curling things together.

[Hair curlers?? Stuff it with hair curlers?]

There is 3 foot diameter steel pipe lining the hole. Where it comes up out of the seabed there is a 60 foot tall blowout preventer (BOP) mounted on top of the pipe. The pressure at the top of the well pipe where it enters the BOP is greater than 10,000 psi. Cut a hole into the bedrock? Where? With what? If you were able to somehow dig a tunnel down through the rock and over to the well pipe, you would still have to cut all the way across a 3' diameter pipe (double pipe, since there's also a casing.) As soon as you cut into the pipe you would unleash a gusher of oil and gas which would blow all your fix-it stuff back out of the tunnel and into the gulf before you could do anything else.

[Picky, picky, picky. . . .]

oh well I tried. I felt like doing something.

[And that's what COUNTS, Brains! You FELT like doing something! That's the old DUAC spirit! You get an "E" for "Effort" . . . EPIC FAIL!]

I'm glued to the oil drum site.

[I don't think that's going to work either.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bp; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; oil; oilleak; oilspill
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Iron Man II . . . Too DUmb for words!
1 posted on 05/31/2010 3:31:43 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

PING!


2 posted on 05/31/2010 3:33:21 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUnderheads are GO!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I suggest we just turn the Gulf of Mexico into a large storage pond for all the oil. It would sure save a lot on pipelines. /sarc

(Apologies to my Gulf coast friends. I spent many a pleasant hour along the beaches when I lived there and it hurts to see what is happening)


3 posted on 05/31/2010 3:35:29 PM PDT by epithermal
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To: Charles Henrickson

hahaha...

these are the brains behind the Obama admonistration


4 posted on 05/31/2010 3:36:28 PM PDT by GeronL (Political Correctness Kills)
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To: Charles Henrickson

oh well I tried. I felt like doing something.

The classic liberal line after they screw something up.


5 posted on 05/31/2010 3:36:57 PM PDT by ebshumidors ( Marksmanship and YOUR heritage http://www.appleseedinfo.org)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Use MO’s ass!


6 posted on 05/31/2010 3:37:02 PM PDT by Free_at_last_-2001 (A country can survive its fools, but it cannot survive treason from within.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Thunderbirds are Go! Dummies not so much.


7 posted on 05/31/2010 3:38:09 PM PDT by matt1234
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To: epithermal

BWA HA HA HA...I am not an engineer, but I pretend to be one on DU.....BWA HA HA HA


8 posted on 05/31/2010 3:39:03 PM PDT by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I just got a headache reading their crazy ideas! I think they are....


....losing it!

9 posted on 05/31/2010 3:39:27 PM PDT by luvie (DIMs?......start packin'--you're fired!....I can see November from my house!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

10 posted on 05/31/2010 3:40:20 PM PDT by matt1234
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

DU = Democratic Undersea


11 posted on 05/31/2010 3:42:50 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUnderheads are GO!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Obama won’t understand what they mean by “inches” and “meters”. They need to convert the dimensions into cubits.


12 posted on 05/31/2010 3:43:16 PM PDT by nhoward14 (A mind is a terrible thing to waste. That is why Obama gave his away.)
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To: LUV W

20,000 Loons Under the Sea


13 posted on 05/31/2010 3:44:05 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUnderheads are GO!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

In all fairness, “sharks with friggin’ laser beams on their heads” is an internet meme.


14 posted on 05/31/2010 3:45:14 PM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: matt1234

15 posted on 05/31/2010 3:48:14 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUnderheads are GO!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Your assets are gravity, rope and a few fragile robots. Good luck.

This tape will destroy itself in sixty seconds.

16 posted on 05/31/2010 3:48:19 PM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: Charles Henrickson
20,000 Loons Under the Sea

LMAO!!! PRICELESS!
17 posted on 05/31/2010 3:48:31 PM PDT by MollyKuehl (Contribute to FR: $10 $20 $50 $100 REMEMBER, LURKING IS A FORM OF ENTITLEMENT!!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top 20?


18 posted on 05/31/2010 3:50:50 PM PDT by Ballygrl
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To: Charles Henrickson

One of Dr. Evil's greatest desires is to have "frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads,"


19 posted on 05/31/2010 3:53:33 PM PDT by Captain Beyond (The Hammer of the gods! (Just a cool line from a Led Zep song))
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To: Charles Henrickson

That’s your basic liberal think tank right there.


20 posted on 05/31/2010 3:58:54 PM PDT by davetex (All my weapons got melted by a meteor!! No Sh*t)
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