Posted on 04/12/2010 2:04:43 PM PDT by jerry557
Psychologist John Buss estimates that for most of human history, perhaps 2% of women have been lesbian or bisexual (see note 1, below). Not any more. Recent surveys of teenage girls and young women find that roughly 15% of young females today self-identify as lesbian or bisexual, compared with about 5% of young males who identify as gay or bisexual (see note 2, below).
As a physician and a psychologist, what I found missing in the noise surrounding the Constance McMillen story was any serious discussion of why a growing number of girls self-identify as lesbian or bisexual. Not that there's anything wrong with that, as Seinfeld might say. But why are young women today at least three times more likely than their brothers to identify as bisexual or homosexual? "I kissed a girl and I liked it," Katy Perry told us in her #1 hit single. Megan Fox, Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, Anna Paquin, Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore - they all want us to know that they are bisexual. There is no comparable crowd of young male celebrities rushing to assure us that they go both ways. Imagine a young man singing "I kissed a boy and I liked it." Would that song reach #1 on the charts? Why not?
Why is it OK for girls to be bisexual or homosexual, but not boys?
Over the past seven years, I've posed this question to hundreds of teenagers and young adults across the United States. The most common answer I get isn't really an answer. "Girls kiss other girls at parties because guys like it," one teenage girl told me. "It makes the guys hoot and holler, so the girls do it again. They're just doing it for attention. It's not for real."
Female sexuality is different from male sexuality. If a straight boy kissed another boy, perhaps to amuse some girls who might be watching, he would be unlikely to undergo a change in sexual orientation as a result. But, as Professor Roy Baumeister at Florida State University and others have shown, sexual attraction in many women seems to be more malleable (see note 3 below). If a teenage girl kisses another teenage girl, for whatever reason, and she finds that she likes it - then things can happen, and things can change. If a young woman finds her soulmate, and her soulmate happens to be female, then she may begin to experience feelings she's never felt before.
Which brings me to the second point I've encountered in my interviews with young people. Twenty years ago, when I opened my practice in a suburb of Washington DC, it was rare to find 14-year-old boys who were looking at pornography every day. Today it's common, in fact it's becoming the norm. When I meet with a group of 14-year-old boys and I ask them, "how many of you guys subscribe to a porn site?", all hands go up. I don't believe them. But today, no boy wants to admit that he's the weirdo who doesn't look at online porn. Twenty years ago, hardcore pornography was tucked away in adult bookstores. Today any 14-year-old can access such photos online in seconds. Role models for young men, from pop singer John Mayer to the 2009 World Series MVP Hideki Matsui, talk openly about their collections of porn (see note 4, below).
Is there any connection between these two trends - between the rise in the number of young women who self-identify as lesbian or bisexual, and the increasing normalization and acceptance of pornography in the lives of young men? Maybe there is. A young woman told me how her boyfriend several years ago suggested that she shave her pubic hair, so that she might more closely resemble the porn stars who were this young man's most consistent source of sexual arousal. She now identifies herself as bisexual. "It was just such a welcome change, to snuggle under a blanket on the couch with my girlfriend, watch a movie, and talk about God and death and growing old, to be intimate emotionally and spiritually as well as physically. I don't know a guy who could even comprehend the conversations we have."
I wish Constance McMillen and her girlfriend all the best. But I have to wonder: Are there so many girl-girl couples out there because that's truly who they are - or because the guys are such losers?
I agree that’s why most people “think” they do it but look a little deeper - what would cause a young woman to have such low self-esteem to think that she needs to do that to impress a guy - I thought Womens Lib was supposed to have freed women from that sort of male dominated pressue.
Of course this is a new twisted sort of liberation in that “we can do whatever we want and there aren’t any consequences”. God wired us to be and live certain ways - living any other way will always reap negative consequences - how’s that for Bible-toting?
Cheers
Mel
Exactly. Back when I was in high school, there was an openly gay girl named Trinity in my graduating class. I was friends with one of her "girlfriends," who experimented with her for a few weeks, and then decided that she didn't like it. A few months ago I was searching for old classmates through Facebook, and came across Trinity's profile. When I checked out her Facebook page, I learned she's been happily married now for 15 years, and she has 3 kids. Go figure.
Someone in the psychology biz once told me women become lesbians because they've been hurt or disappointed by men.(Dads)Men with the above attitude are rampant.
I will never understand lesbians.How can they not like men? I love men;the older ones are my absolute favorite.Besides Powers Boothe I have a big crush on Bob Gunton,the warden from “Shawshank Redemption” and “24”.They are what you call men.*sigh*
I kissed a man and I liked it....
I’ve never cuddled with another woman.Blech!
Maybe not, but I am sure you have seen it. And most likely seen it among women who are definitely not lesbian.
It's nothing new. It was called being a 'LUG' in the 80s and 90s. 'Lesbian Until Graduation.'
I’ve never seen it,since my best friend is a guy.I have some women friends but we’re not close. I guess it’s something I’d rather do with a man.
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