You may have something there....
Posted on 12/12/2009 10:47:39 AM PST by John Semmens
Tired of waiting for Congress to pass the “Cap-and-Trade” bill, the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) announced it will initiate its own measures to control carbon dioxide emissions. The thrust of the EPA’s approach will be to determine a carbon emissions “budget” for every individual household and assess fines and penalties for those whose emissions exceed an allowable amount.
EPA administrator Lisa Jackson acknowledged that this approach would be more costly than a cap and trade system, but defended it as “leverage to induce Congress to take action. Carbon dioxide is the most dangerous pollutant because there are so many sources of emission. It is imperative that we take action to cut it.”
Jackson said the “budgets” for each individual will be set using the model for how the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) assesses income taxes. “Everyone who now fills out a tax return will be required to also fill out an annual ‘declaration of estimated emissions’ form,” Jackson explained. “There will be an instruction booklet—like the one the IRS mails to taxpayers—that emissions filers can use to help them complete the form.”
The types of information required on the form will include number of persons in the household and their weights, number and type of motor vehicles owned, miles driven, and frequency of miscellaneous use of combustibles like gasoline-powered lawn mowers and backyard grills.
“Those who try to cheat by underreporting their emissions will be subject to audits,” Jackson reminded. “There will also be neighborhood spot checks, as well as a system to reward those who turn in cheating neighbors. Not incidentally, the surveillance system will open up job opportunities and help fight the recession.”
(Excerpt) Read more at azconserv1.wordpress.com ...
OMG, DO NOT give these people any ideas. What we regard as satire will end up being the law of the land under liberals.
In celebration of this new edict, I shall, gleefully and exuberantly, fart an extra two ‘toot’s to ‘global warming’....ALL HAIL THE CO2 MONARCHY!!!!!!
ping
John, thanks for the ping, but you’re not fooling me this time!
I can just see it now. These people will make the East German Stazi look tame.
Recently, MIT researchers prophesied weak ocean mitigation of carbon dioxide (CO2), which is claimed to be the major source of global warming. However, atmospheric CO2 represents less than one particle for 10,000, making finding Waldo in a puzzle more likely. Water vapor that CO2 bonds with (think of carbonated water) is 25 times more plentiful in the atmosphere, and 2.5 million times more plentiful in oceans. When a single hurricane uses enough energy to power Japan for a year, how can weather have minimal influence on CO2 reduction, which also has minimal atmospheric presence? Few scientists have any remianing credibility.
You’d think the Republicans would be raising hell about this, but I won’t hold my breath. :)
“Carbon dioxide is the most dangerous pollutant because there are so many sources of emission.”
Humans.
this is satire, right?
I know this suppose to be a satire but there are serious proposals directly analgous to what you have written. Someone in power in the UK propoed a CO2 “debit card” that would be swipped everytime you purchased petro or did some other activity that emitted CO2. If you ran out of CO2 credits you would be automatically forced to buy more.
Will this plan include green Block Captains?
Funny, but I can easily see them doing it!!
School kids! Did dad boff mom more than once last week? Win a free basketball if dad's IRS exertion log fails to match his activities.
.
..........Be aware use of basketball may violate your daily CO2 cap, which is punishable by law.
Funny! I don't have to: COPD has my lung capacity down to 60% of normal, thus my exhalations contain 40% less CO2 than average for my age/size. I should get some sort of EPA credit for that.
We should make it a crime to open any carbonated beverage and release all of that CO2. We also need to declare war on yeast and try and exterminate them since they produce CO2, bring back prohibition and save the planet.
Yesterday I was reading the federal jobs website and there are a bunch of new positions advertised, doing an "energy use census" nationwide in the Spring.
This may not be satire after all.
Environmental Gestapo Agency.
The arrogance and thuggery of this administration is really amazing, isn't it?
Enjoy your chains, America.
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