Posted on 09/01/2009 11:49:41 AM PDT by bloodmeridian
Hell, Circle 8.5 -- Just a week after his death, the greatest grafter of all time, former Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy, announced today that he was running for president of the netherworld.
“This place is a disgrace,” Kennedy said, while bathing in boiling resin and drinking a fifth of Bushmills and getting a massage from a demon named Lilith. “It looks like it’s been run by Republicans. The pagans and unbaptized babies are out of work. The lustful have lost their libido. The gluttons are starving. The hoarders are giving their possessions away. The wrathful can’t stop apologizing. The heretics have found religion. The violent have become docile. The pimps have stopped wearing fedoras and purple suits. The flatterers have gone silent. The simonists have stopped selling pardons. The soothsayers have stopped making fortune cookies. The politicians have started giving back people’s money. The hypocrites have stopped living lies. Thieves are stealing only from themselves. Deceivers are being honest. Sowers of discord have become pacifists. Falsifiers have discovered truth. And the treacherous have become huggable teddy bears.
“It’s like Martha’s Vineyard down here. It must stop, and stop now. It’s embarrassing. What would they think above ground if anyone found out?”
(Excerpt) Read more at feedyouradhd.blogspot.com ...
Sounds more like heaven
BTTT
According to Dante, he and others like him are being forced to march single file around the edge of their circle while being whipped by horned demons. Hate it when that happens.
Sorry. FDR still has him beat:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1763904/posts
Rejected: FDR at the gates of Hell
FDR at the gates of Hell
A stranger stood at the Gates of hell
And the Devil himself answered the bell.
He looked him over from head to toe
And said: My friend, I’d like to know
What you have done in the line of sin
To entitle you to come within?
Then Franklin D, with his usual guile
Stepped forth with his toothy smile and said:
“When I took charge in ‘33
A nations faith was mine,” said he
“I promised them this and I promised them that
And I calmed them down with a fireside chat.
I spent their money in fishing trips
And fished from the decks of their battleships.
I gave them jobs in the WPA
Then raised their taxes and took it away.
I raised their wages and closed their shops
I killed their pigs and buried their crops
I double-crossed both old and young
And still the folks my praises sung. I taxed it so high they couldn’t drink.
I furnished ‘em money with Government loans
When they missed a payment I took their homes.
When I wanted to punish the folks, you know
I’d put my wife on the radio.
I paid them to let their farms lie still
And imported foodstuffs from Brazil.
I curtailed crops when I felt real mean
And shipped in crops from the Argentine.
When they started to worry, stew and fret
I got them to chant the alphabet
With the AAA and the NLB
The WPA and the CCC.
With these many units I got their goats
And still I crammed it down their throats.
My workers worked with the speed of snails
While the taxpayers chewed their fingernails.
When the organization needed dough
I closed their plants with the CIO.
I ruined jobs, I ruined health
And I put the screws on the rich man’s wealth.
And some who couldn’t stand the gaff
Would call on me and how I’d laugh.
When they got too strong on certain things
I’d pack and head for “Ole Warm Springs.”
I ruined their country, their homes and then
I placed the blame on “Nine Old Men.”
Now Franklin talked both long and loud
And the devil stood and his head he bowed.
At last he said: “Lets make it clear
You’ll have to move, you can’t stay here
For once you mingle with this mob,
I’ll have to find another job.”
Teddy died.......then.....
Mary Jo picked him up in her car and drove him over the Hades Bridge. The car never made it to heaven, it went over the bridge somehow. But, Mary Jo did escape and is safely back in heaven. Ted was never found.
I can see Ted Kennedy begging Mary Jo for a cup of water to quench his thirst.
Pray for the Tea Party Express
BUMP a great title.
you cannot know the state of a man’s soul or his final destination. Do you presume to know more than God? What happened to Kennedy in his final months, up till that last moment, is between him and God. Consequently, only God knows where Kennedy’s soul now resides. Thank God for his great love, that even the vilest sinner (among whom I would be numbered if not for the grace of God) can be saved, up till that last breath is drawn.
Furthermore, how about showing a little class? Or perhaps a little maturity? Attack his ideas, not the man—you will win more converts to your own cause.
bookmark
Sorry, I don't thing these are not in heaven.
Sorry, I don't think these are not in heaven.
Teddy himself joked about the issue, but you cannot?
Did Ted show class?
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