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Cheerios to Be Available by Prescription Only
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 27 June 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/30/2009 10:40:42 AM PDT by John Semmens

Citing the cereal’s claim that incorporating Cheerios into a daily diet could lower cholesterol by up to 4% within 6 weeks, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has announced proposed regulations that would require buyers to obtain a doctor’s prescription before they would be allowed to purchase the product.

“Lowering cholesterol is a medical outcome,” FDA spokesperson, Susan Cruzan pointed out. “As such, it comes under our jurisdiction. Other makers of cholesterol-lowering drugs must get FDA approval before marketing their products. To allow General Mills to skate on this would give them an unfair advantage.”

Cruzan contended that “requiring consumers to obtain a doctor’s prescription is a relatively lenient standard. We could have insisted that the product be taken off the market until clinical testing could verify the claimed benefits. Such testing, I might point out, normally takes several years.”

More rigorous control over health claims for foods is “just one blade of the scissors the FDA will be using to help cut out unhealthy lifestyles. The really bad foods loaded with fat or sugar will soon feel the hand of government steering their manufacturers and purveyors toward more nutritious options.”

(Excerpt) Read more at azconserv1.wordpress.com ...


TOPICS: Food; Government; Health/Medicine; Humor
KEYWORDS: extortion; nannystate; regulation; satire

1 posted on 06/30/2009 10:40:42 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

We need an oat fiber cap and trade system. /s


2 posted on 06/30/2009 10:42:09 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: DannyTN
I guess my mom never knew that she was pushing drugs all of those years of feeding us kids cereal every morning.
3 posted on 06/30/2009 10:44:56 AM PDT by pappyone (New to Freep, still working a tag line.)
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To: John Semmens

I challenge FDA ninnies to come take the cheerios from my 20 month old. Bad, very bad things happen.


4 posted on 06/30/2009 10:45:50 AM PDT by Domandred (Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment.)
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To: John Semmens

I hate the government. Why does anyone like them? Who has a job I mean.


5 posted on 06/30/2009 10:47:24 AM PDT by demshateGod (The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.)
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To: John Semmens
What about Super Colon-Blow?


6 posted on 06/30/2009 10:47:31 AM PDT by TexGuy (If it has the slimmest of chances of being considered sarcasm ... IT IS!)
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To: John Semmens

Satire


7 posted on 06/30/2009 10:49:14 AM PDT by D Rider
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To: John Semmens
John,

Anyone who falls for this one needs to have a "stupid" sign taped on his / her back.

8 posted on 06/30/2009 10:49:39 AM PDT by tx_eggman (Clinton was our first black President ... Obama is our first French President.)
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To: John Semmens
Oops, I meant “Satire?”
9 posted on 06/30/2009 10:50:40 AM PDT by D Rider
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To: John Semmens

LOL! Good one!


10 posted on 06/30/2009 10:51:02 AM PDT by toldyou (Even if the voices aren't real they have some pretty good ideas.)
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To: pappyone

You know actually, I side with the government on this. Cherios has been pushing their processed sugar bread as heart healthy. And I understand they are depending on one questionable study for their claim. It’s likely that it’s not heart healthy at all.

The claim needs to go, at least until they have more evidence.


11 posted on 06/30/2009 10:52:33 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: DannyTN
We need an oat fiber cap and trade system. /s

Don't you mean CRAP and trade?

Actually, that describes the moonbat's latest wet dream legislation as well. NO SARCASM intended.

12 posted on 06/30/2009 10:53:03 AM PDT by ssaftler (OBAMA: One Big Ass Mistake America)
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To: tx_eggman
Anyone who falls for this one needs to have a "stupid" sign taped on his / her back.

That's what I said about cap and trade and taxing cow farts.

13 posted on 06/30/2009 10:53:18 AM PDT by D Rider
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To: John Semmens

This is like requiring a presciption for food. If you stop eating food you will die, therefore it must be addressing your medical needs.


14 posted on 06/30/2009 10:53:30 AM PDT by BuffaloJack (Obama means Trickle Up Poverty)
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To: tx_eggman

Ummmm ... the FDA actually has expressed concern about cholesterol-reduction claims of oatmeal-based cereals, hinting that some kind of regulation thereof is coming.

Satire & fact are indistinguishable these days.


15 posted on 06/30/2009 10:55:09 AM PDT by ctdonath2 (John Galt was exiled.)
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To: ssaftler
"Don't you mean CRAP and trade? "

Obama's legislation is more like CRAP and STARVE.

16 posted on 06/30/2009 10:56:33 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: John Semmens

Thanks for the chuckle John.


17 posted on 06/30/2009 11:05:06 AM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists...Call 'em What you Will, They ALL have Fairies Living In Their Trees.)
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To: John Semmens

Yep, government a$$h*les need to control everything we do.


18 posted on 06/30/2009 11:13:05 AM PDT by 3niner (When Obama succeeds, America fails.)
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To: John Semmens

Ah ha! This time I had you pegged at the title! Nice try, John. Love ya’.


19 posted on 06/30/2009 1:43:11 PM PDT by Excellence (Meet your new mother-in-law — the United States Government)
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