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President to “Reach Out” to Moderate Taliban
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 14 March 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/15/2009 12:54:16 PM PDT by John Semmens

President Obama indicated that “since we are losing the war in Afghanistan, we will need to make accommodation with the more moderate elements of the winning side. While hard-liners in the United States would like to portray all Taliban as incorrigible religious fanatics, I believe there is some room for hope.”

“My staff has advised me that they have established contacts with Taliban leaders who have less extreme views,” Obama said. “For example, some of the more moderate views seem to suggest that Islamic law could be fulfilled with mere disfigurement for errant women and the amputation of tongues rather than beheading for first-time blasphemers. We need to show these moderates that there would be benefit in their making a deal with the United States.”

Qari Mohammad Yousuf, a spokesman for the Afghan Taliban, derided the notion that there is such a thing as a “moderate” Muslim as “illogical.” “We are united behind one aim, one policy—restore the world to Islam for Allah,” Yousuf declared. “If the American president is confused on this point perhaps it will work to our advantage.”

(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...


TOPICS: Humor; Military/Veterans; Politics; Religion
KEYWORDS: afghanistan; islam; moderatetaliban; satire; terror

1 posted on 03/15/2009 12:54:16 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

What’s the “moderate Taliban” do they use sharper knives for beheadings?


2 posted on 03/15/2009 12:55:11 PM PDT by word_warrior_bob (You can now see my amazing doggie and new puppy on my homepage!! Come say hello to Jake & Sonny)
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To: John Semmens

A moderate Taliban is a Taliban at room temperature.


3 posted on 03/15/2009 12:56:15 PM PDT by beethovenfan (If Islam is the solution, the "problem" must be freedom.)
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To: beethovenfan

A moderate Taliban is a Taliban at room temperature.

Perfect!


4 posted on 03/15/2009 12:59:26 PM PDT by bytesmith
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To: bytesmith

Apparently CNN has an interview with a Taliban that says they will kill aid workers in Afghanistan. My niece is an aid worker on a military base in Afghanistan. So, while they would kill my niece, he would talk to them about it. What’s he gonna do? Chide them like he does the Republicans who disagree with him?


5 posted on 03/15/2009 1:02:05 PM PDT by Winstons Julia
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To: John Semmens

Here we go.
Jimmy Carter II.


6 posted on 03/15/2009 1:13:10 PM PDT by Bon mots
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To: John Semmens

What’s moderate? Do they put novocain on the blade before they chop your head off?


7 posted on 03/15/2009 1:19:27 PM PDT by Leftism is Mentally Deranged (liberalism = serious mental deficiency)
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To: John Semmens
estore the world to Islam for Allah

Just WHEN was the world 'stored' for Allah? Give me documented PROOF that at one time the entire world was Islamic, Muhammadistic, whatever you want to call it?

You can't because it wasn't.

Islam doesn't even have a CREATION Story. It doesn't have a Supreme Being who created and cares for it. Islam is just a bunch of sick, twisted, sadistic stories of a pedophile who was rebuffed because he wanted to be a Prophet of God and all the God-Fearing people realized his ego was too large to be a Prophet.

Hmmm, Muhammad and Barack have a LOT in common. He has no 'creation' story either. Until we see his vault long form birth certificate, he was just hatched from the pages of a book written by American-hating Left-Wing Rabid dog Ayers.

And I'm being nice about it because I'm coming down with a cold or the flu and drinking wine to abate the overwhelming desire to vohamet on mohamet.
8 posted on 03/15/2009 1:21:27 PM PDT by HighlyOpinionated (The Constitution & Bill of Rights stand as a whole. Remove any part & nullify the whole.)
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To: word_warrior_bob

My God!! Are they nuts? There are no moderate taliban. We are so scre**d


9 posted on 03/15/2009 1:23:20 PM PDT by waxer1 ( Live Free or Die; Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death)
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To: waxer1

The article is semi-satire, I was just adding to it, maybe you knew that, it’s hard to tell with satire sometimes ; )


10 posted on 03/15/2009 1:29:23 PM PDT by word_warrior_bob (You can now see my amazing doggie and new puppy on my homepage!! Come say hello to Jake & Sonny)
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To: John Semmens

“Moderate Taliban” is on the order of “law-abiding Mafioso”.

The two terms are too contradictory to exist.

The Taliban, by its very nature, abhors moderation in the pursuit of religious purity.

There was once an agency ostensibly connected with the Roman Catholic Church, called the Inquisition. The persons under suspicion were questioned by some rather extreme means, as to whether they were REALLY Christian, or merely lying about it.

Similarly, the Taliban uses the same forms of persuasion to determine if the individual under suspicion is really a believer in Islam or not. If not, of course, the consequences are a little prejudiced.

The Western religions pretty much gave up this sort of confrontational interrogation over recent years, and now, it is presumedly outlawed here in the US, at least. And we should tolerate it from the Taliban? They are not fit people to do business or negotiate in any way with the paragons of virtue that make up the failing nascent obama regime.


11 posted on 03/15/2009 1:31:56 PM PDT by alloysteel (Obama was lying, your rights are dying)
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To: word_warrior_bob

Boy is that true.


12 posted on 03/15/2009 1:35:14 PM PDT by waxer1 ( Live Free or Die; Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death)
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To: John Semmens
"A Moderate Taliban......"

This is NOT an oxymoron.....and I strained my brain to find a word for the phrase.

All I could come up with was "Obamymoron", which will do on several levels.

Leni

13 posted on 03/15/2009 1:35:39 PM PDT by MinuteGal
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To: Bon mots
Here we go.
Jimmy Carter II.

I don't remember even Carter being that stupid.

14 posted on 03/15/2009 1:51:20 PM PDT by The Sons of Liberty (FUBO Kenyan Usurper - "Don't Tread On Me!!!")
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To: John Semmens

Fish in a barrel John, fish in a barrel


15 posted on 03/15/2009 2:00:45 PM PDT by tx_eggman (Clinton was our first black President ... Obama is our first French President.)
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To: word_warrior_bob

GMTA!!

By definition, Taliban is a radical.

Moderates are called Muslims.

We gots lots o’ dem.


16 posted on 03/15/2009 2:27:29 PM PDT by Adder (Proudly ignoring Zero's political stylings since 1-20-09!)
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To: John Semmens

I hope Hussein Obama will personally shake Osama’s hand!


17 posted on 03/15/2009 2:45:04 PM PDT by Doctor Don
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