US Army Stocking Up on Riot Gear & Training [Satire]

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 8 March 2009 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

The federal government is budgeting funds for an anticipated “hot summer” of domestic unrest.

“With the likes of Limbaugh, Santelli, Cramer and others stirring up trouble with their repeated expressions of disrespect toward the President, we’ve got to be prepared,” said the President’s Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs. “We cannot tolerate any destabilizing demonstrations of disloyalty during these times of severe economic crisis.”

Gibbs warned that “the army has been training assiduously for this sort of contingency since day-one of this Administration. There is an old saying from World War II that ‘loose lips sink ships.’ Well, we cannot afford to allow the loose lips of talk radio to sink the American ship of state. The President has said he will take whatever action he deems necessary to see that this doesn’t happen. He will not be deterred by formalistic notions regarding freedom of speech or assembly that may conflict with his intent to transform this country.”

[tx_eggman]

People who post from this site need to label it as satire in the title. This stuff is way too close to the truth and people who don’t read the source get worked up, including me. Heaven help FR if people start making “threatening” statements based on satire.

Mr. Semmens made a concession to this a while back when he began including "A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^" in all his article headdings

His stuff close enough to reality that it always stirs up the anthill anyway ..

[mojitojoe]

“With the likes of Limbaugh, Santelli, Cramer and others stirring up trouble with their repeated expressions of disrespect toward the President, we’ve got to be prepared,” said the President’s Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs. “We cannot tolerate any destabilizing demonstrations of disloyalty during these times of severe economic crisis.”
____________________________________________________________

Is there another link (news article) to verify this quote, please? Thanks.
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I would like that too. If he really said this, it would be all over the news.

[Colvin]

Google only locates this in a couple of places, no news source.
Perhaps someone is typing this from under a bridge???

[rockinqsranch]

Thanks for the chuckle once again John.

[jiggyboy]

if only there was an audio equivalent...

[Ohioan]

“With the likes of Limbaugh, Santelli, Cramer and others stirring up trouble with their repeated expressions of disrespect toward the President, we’ve got to be prepared,” said the President’s Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs. “We cannot tolerate any destabilizing demonstrations of disloyalty during these times of severe economic crisis.”

If that statement is not chilling, what could be! So Gibbs would be Obama's Goebbels!

I do not know how long it took Allende in Chile to show his true hand and intention. It took Castro, I know, a bit over three months. Gibbs would seem to be telegraphing a similar intention in less than two months. God help the Americans! This generation may be facing an historic trial.

For the record, Santelli is simply an expert commodity market commentator, who dared to voice personal outrage at an obviously grossly unfair Federal policy, equally certain to cause more damage to the fragile economy. He was speaking against deliberately making that "economic crisis" worse. This is like menacing that little boy who reminded all the fatuous fawners that the Emperor was naked.

If we allow this sort of threatening language to intimidate us, all will indeed be lost.

William Flax

[PLMerite]

“Mr. Semmens made a concession to this a while back when he began including “A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative” in all his article headings”

Yes, and that’s good. But you can tell from peoples’ replies that a lot of them miss that detail.

And his stuff is so good that one’s first thought is “wow, they’re finally showing their true colors!” and you can hear rounds being chambered in your head.

[jiggyboy]

John you're on your own

[l8pilot]

US Army Stocking Up on Riot Gear & Training The federal government is budgeting funds for an anticipated “hot summer” of domestic unrest. “With the likes of Limbaugh, Santelli, Cramer and others stirring up trouble with their repeated expressions of disrespect toward the President, we’ve got to be prepared,” said the President’s Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs. “We cannot tolerate any destabilizing demonstrations of disloyalty during these times of severe economic crisis.” Gibbs warned that “the army has been training assiduously for this sort of contingency since day-one of this Administration. There is an old saying from World War II that ‘loose lips sink ships.’ Well, we cannot afford to allow the loose lips of talk radio to sink the American ship of state. The President has said he will take whatever action he deems necessary to see that this doesn’t happen. He will not be deterred by formalistic notions regarding freedom of speech or assembly that may conflict with his intent to transform this country.”

I take it back. Obama is the new Lincoln. Lincoln did the same thing, shutting down dissenting newspapers, suppressing demonstrations in New York City (Actually the largest urban battle of the War), trying to arrest the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.

To be really great, like Lincoln, Obama needs a good secret police, and concentration camps (like Fort McHenry) where Lincoln imprisoned Francis Scott Key's grandson, and much of the Maryland legislature.

Yep, Barak Obama brings "Change we can believe in".

[dynachrome]

Mr. Semmons is a master of satire.

[KoRn]

"Satire...which may or may not become reality shortly."

lol I hadn't read the article. It was a simultaneous self ping(which I do a lot of at work) and a ping your way. I actually read something similar recently that wasn't satire, but I don't recall where.

[CPT Clay]

Great blog! Thanks