Posted on 02/11/2009 7:37:04 PM PST by bloodmeridian
The Congressional Gods have smiled and come to a tentative agreement to merge Porkulus and son of Porkulus into something you can probably call GoFrigYourselfulus.
The highlight? For me? The taxpayer the stimulus is supposed to convince that it’s cool to spend my money again and help get the economy moving back toward the end…I mean black?
I’ll get a whopping extra $13 a week in my paycheck! Here's how I'll spend it....
(Excerpt) Read more at feedyouradhd.blogspot.com ...
I’ll save it all year long, and procure the next firearm I have been lusting after. I want a Model 25-2 Smith and Wesson in .45 Long Colt. It has to have a pinned barrel and recessed cylinders, of course!
Nam Vet
How about this - from an e-mail from the wife of a Democrat operative in south Jersey:
Stimulus Payment Info.
This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is
a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A
format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will se
nd to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and
Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan .
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit cards off, it will go to bank management bonuses
and they will hide if offshore. Same with stock investment.
Instead, you can keep the money in America by spending it at yard
sales, going to a baseball game, or spending it on prostitutes, beer
and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only American
businesses still operating in the US.
Soooo....that means you and your wife get to SPLIT the $15/week. Fork it over mister. I’ve got a combo meal at McDonald’s to buy this week.
13 bucks a week! Cheebugga cheebugga!
bump
If they took the $800 billion that Porkulus is going to cost and divvied it up amongst the 300 million Americans, that comes to about $2600 per person.
Let’s see. $4 billion for ACORN, etc., $30 million for Pelosi’s mouse, $13 for me.
hahahaha.
It's also BS.
But then it would stimulate government.....!
Pays for one night of hold’em poker a week. The poker’s free but the burger and beer you pay for.
HAHA!! Uhh...they haven’t decided on the tax increase yet. You know it is coming.
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