Millions Prepare For Orgasm During Obama Speech

Elective Decisions ^ | 1/19/09 | Chris Davis

[writer33]

Washington—In what could likely put Playboy magazine out of business, millions of Americans are preparing to achieve orgasm during Barack Obama’s inauguration speech tomorrow. The abundant frenzy—expected upward of 20 million—would be unprecedented in American history, dwarfing the two or three million orgasms on Election Night.

Obama’s speech, “Great Expectations,” is reportedly expected to run 17 minutes long—a period of time which is sure to leave millions writhing and undulating in sheer bliss.

The Pew Center for research has reported that 90 percent of women, and 85 percent of liberal men, expect to achieve climax in the final thrust of Obama’s campaign speech, leaving many with “Great Expectations” of their own.

[Beowulf9]

Sleeping in, then coffee/Hostess cupcake, then Freepin’ in.

[Julia H.]

I’m going to be watching grass grow in slow motion.

[TaxRelief]

hahaha! lol

[Valentine_W]

I think people want to have hope and they want to believe that things will get better...fast. The majority of people today couldn't have handled living in America during WWII. During WWII, people actually gladly sacrificed to help the war effort - they grew Victory gardens, rationed every day conveniences, like sugar, butter, nylon, and metal. Now, we find that our country is struggling - we are at war and the economy is in the dumps...but all people want is a quick fix and they think they've found it in Obama.

I was at Starbucks today and people were asking me if I was heading to the Mall or coming back - I said neither and that I wasn't going to the Mall tomorrow either. The folks around me seemed genuinely hurt that I just wasn't excited about the Inauguration. It really was touching to see just how excited people are...I realized then just how much hope and high expectations people are placing on this one man. Obama needs to do a better job of managing the expectations of his fans, because the reality is that it will probably be around 5 years before the economy starts to pick up again and that's assuming that he makes good decisions and that we don't have another unforeseen setback, like a major terrorist attack in the country.

[Republic]

WOW! It is like we live on different planets. I have seen nothing but just nothing like what you describe.

But then I haven't talked to anyone I don't already know...it is just the feeling I get when I am out and about...such a weird lack of, I dunno, anything. Depression still comes to mind.

Mentioned our different take to hubby and he said, lol, people see what they want to see!

[dware]

Damn...and I gotta work. Guess I’ll have to Tivo it. NOT!

Been spending my time lately trying to convince the wife I need another gun. And stocking the pantry.

Thanx for the Ping, writer.

[dware]

The past 2 months have been hard for me...it’s difficult to describe other than that I have this sense of profound nostalgia and of being disconnected from the people around me.

You aint alone. I've been feeling it too.

[writer33]

Thanks for reading, MissDariyGoodnessVT. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

No, I won’t be watching, but thanks for reading, I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Thanks for the bump, and for reading. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

The less fortunate will only feel a tingly sensation run up their leg...

Good one. Thanks for reading, NYT. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Thanks for reading, Lexinom. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Thanks for reading, PH. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Thanks for the tip, Mason Gal. I shall clean my toilet tomorrow too. Thanks for reading as well. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Thanks for reading, and for serving in defense of liberty, Old Sarge. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

...and that’s just the media.

Good one. Thanks for reading, MediaMole. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Thanks for the Barf Bag Alert, and for reading. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Fire one round for me, and thanks for reading. I appreciate it.

[School of Rational Thought]

By

[writer33]

Thanks for reading, dfwgator. I appreciate it, and it’s good to see that you’re not one of those needing Obama programs.